clean-slateam i the only one who gives everyone the benefit of the doubt?
okay hear me out…

why does it seem like people like to group everyone in a box?
just because one person,
or a couple people have done the same thing,
does not mean that the whole race or community is that way.
here is a good example: black people like to think all the whites are the same.
i have heard people say:

“you can’t trust them.”

“they only tolerate us.”

“they smile in your face and call you a nigger behind your back.”

giphyi have encountered racist white people before.
there is an old snow wolf at my job who i know is racist.
i can see it in his eyes when he comes up to my desk.
he barely wants to touch anything after me.
i even heard he has said racist things to others about some of the mailroom wolves.
so because he and a couple others are this way,
should i group them all in the same category?
i actually got this same job because of someone white.
my old boss and my new one are white as well.
i treated them with the same respect,
showed them i’m not some hoodrat they may have grouped me in as,
and in turn they saw that i was different.

the same also goes with “us” within the life.
we all know there are some messy ass people who walk among us.
some are obvious.
others are more discreet with their messiness.
i try to wipe the slate clean and give everyone a chance.
how i do this?
i judge people based on their actions.
people have hurt me time and time again with promises and ear hustlin.
i try to remember that not everyone is out to get me.
my guard always stays up,
but i give people that benefit to fuck up.
kinda like how i did with liar liar.
i guess my issue is that i believe people will do what i do.
i’m learning that everyone isn’t a “good” person and sometimes,
it takes getting to know them to realize that.
some people were just born to be evil.
some were good,
but let life turn them bitter and unforgiving.
some only know “survival” and will stab you before they get stabbed.
even if there was no knife in the other person’s pocket.
sometimes it takes their lesson for you to learn how to handle people.
after countless trusting the wrong people,
i have finally learned how to add and subtract.
saying “goodbye” now isn’t as painless as it once was.
i don’t want to live a life where i am bitter about my past.
to the point that everyone who i come in contact with is deemed:


who wants to live like that?
if so,

then why even try to meet new people?
why even date?
wolves i was attracted to heavy have rejected me.
some even played me.
i can be honest.
it was the ones i have really liked too.
i was tight,
but i throw that wolf to the trash and clean his spot off with ammonia.

tumblr_lym699QVXm1r5ruse“i found my strength in what i allowed to break me.” jamari fox
so i had to ask…

Is it wrong to think like this?

i personally don’t think so,
but i could be wrong.

Author: jamari fox

the fox invited to the blogging table.


  1. I think these is good in most and there is nothing wrong with giving people the Benefit of the doubt. It’s only when those people show you who they really are time and time again that I will pass judgement. Sometimes the nicest people will do you the dirtiest.

  2. I don’t think it’s wrong to think like this at all. I think like this too. People always end up disappointing me or let me down in some kind of way, so I’m always cautious. I can’t let my guard down or get too comfortable with just anybody. I wait around to see what you’re about and as soon as you deal me the wrong hand, you’re cut off.

  3. How about switching it. Instead of “innocent until proven guilty” everybody is “guilty until proven innocent.” I’m learning not to trust anyone. Black, White, gay, liberal, etc… I just can’t do it anymore. I’m cordial with everyone until they show otherwise. Like that wolf at my old job. I gave him one too many chances.

    It’s not wrong to think the way you do but it’s best you not put your hopes up in people. It’s like a movie. When you go in with high expectations but the film is lackluster, you’re disappointed because you expected better. When you go into a movie with low expectations and the film is better than what you thought it would be, then you’re somewhat satisfied. Apply the same to our fellow human beings.

  4. great post j, loved it, you made valid points. I too had heard that sentiment often especially in the inner city, but it was never from my mom or my dad but from other people but as time went on and i became of age i realized in most instances, not all, my own people have and try to cause me harm. whenever i was on the job i’ve come across racism here and there, but in pales in comparison to the remarks i used to get from certain friends and family when i would talk about my goals…I never forget a friend of mine told me years ago i was doing to much in my pursuits to become a doctor and that he figured a bachelors degree was enough. here we are four years later, I’m a step closer to obtaining my dream career as a doctor and he didnt even obtain that degree he said was just enough, in fact he’s another weed head on the street selling drugs and etc and is incredibly smart, i mean like 4.0 throughout school smart but he waited until he went to college to decide to fuck up his life, do heavy drugs, pursue a career in music, etc. and the list goes on whenever i wanted to do something different it was ‘oh you’re trying to be white or etc” so i feel now since i have released those toxic people from my life at the end of the day just surround yourselves with great human beings, they still exist and often times when you find great people they wont just be black or your race. I’m so glad i’m surrounded by real people.

  5. I give people the benefit of the doubt all the time. I don’t think anything is wrong with it personally. It just comes to a point sometimes where it’s the benefit of the doubt vs. being naive or just plain stupid.

  6. When we growup, and get older we get wiser, I have been hurt by people who meant no good for me, they hung with me because I was new to the scene, they used me and I let them steal my TIME(most important), TRUST(when people show you who they are believe them),MONEY(feed them often because I had money and I did not want to eat if they could not afford to eat),PEACE(every time I was with them GOD was shaking my tree with letting me not feel good nor happy I would often just watch and see snakes in my way(people who did not like me just wanted to use me) I felt like I was losing me but after the rain and some peace signs to the snakes in friend cloths(yes GOD) I am happy lesson learned, When PEOPLE SHOW YOU WHO THEY ARE BELIEVE THEM !GOD BLESS.

  7. Well I like to give everyone a clean slate first, and let them hang themselves with their own rope. A person will show their true colors eventually.

  8. It takes work to judge people as individuals. Most people would much rather generalize based on past experience or knowledge because it is so easy to do.

If you wouldn't say it on live TV with all your family and friends watching, without getting canceled or locked up, don't say it on here. Stay on topic, no SPAM, and keep it respectful. Thanks!

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