Confessions of The Fox You Think Is Stupid

tumblr_n2epf4t83b1slbt92o1_500lets keep something between us foxes.
i guess the wolves and hybrids can read too…

after i wrote that “work wolf” entry yesterday,
the comments stayed on my mind type heavy.
i appreciate every single one.
the good and the bad.

i want to fuck work wolf.
there.
i said it.
look who wouldn’t?
maybe its the “forbidden wolf” thing that gets me.
he identifies as “straight”.
he fucks vixens when he wants sex.
typical shit.
he also seems really emotionally connected to me.
jamari fox.
fucking him…
it would probably be the most intense dick i ever got.
well what i imagine in my fantasies.
this whole thing turned to “like” once we started getting closer.
he started to share himself with me.
i started to share me with him.
he also accepted my sexuality.
it is different.
when someone strips themselves down,
it can be a turn on because you see them for all they are.

if he “is” interested in me,
i’m not some dumb ass who thinks he can “change” a wolf.

“when he gets wit me,
i’m going to make him my perfect wolf.”

hell nah.
work wolf ain’t ready for anyone right now.
i tell him this all the time.
he is still immature.
with me,
he is a completely different person.
i think its the “trying to impress someone he takes seriously” thing.
when he is with these vixens tho…
nah.
he couldn’t date someone like me right now.
i’m a lot to handle.
i’m like e a force when i come into people’s lives.
not to brag.
i just feel like i am the best thing in anyone’s life.
friend or lover.
foe or fucker.
i bring my all to whatever i do.

yes.
i “like” this wolf.
i would “like” him to fuck me.
its a contradiction.
he is different.
he treats me differently.
i know a lot of straight wolves,
but this one went above and beyond what they have done.
it almost made me feel like how i would want to feel if i was dating a wolf.
the texts.
the pet names.
the various outings.
the compliments.
the vibe.
plus he buys me shit.
what?
i’m sorry i got caught up.

you know what i do hate tho?
when people act like this can’t happen to them.
like they are immune to falling for the wrong person.
like we have a ton of options and i was “stupid” to make this mistake.
this life is not easy.
sure i could go on some sex site,
get fucked,
write about it as my booty hole throbs,
and repeat the same cycle until its time to die.
i could go to a club and feel invisible because i’m not big and buff.
people assume i have an attitude because i’m quiet or dress nice.
ive been there and done that.
i got the shirts and the matching mugs.
if i have to take off my shirt or show my ass to be taken seriously by a wolf…

“not interested.”

i want the build up,
ya know?
the anticipation.
the conversations that leads up to “it”.
no one wants to start off being your friend in this life.
everyone wants to judge you because you aren’t perfect.
people want to front careers.
act like they better than you over some insta-likes.
hell they competing for who can get the most shit being an escort.
its all superficial bullshit that means nothing once you get to “know the person”.
how many people have fucked the fine wolf and realize he is a mess?
and then to top it off,
the shady catty shit like we some high school bitches?
seriously who wants to deal with that?

so yes i fell for “the forbidden straight wolf”.
i might just be a complete fuckin’ idiot for doing so.
guess what?
i have no regrets.
well i regret not being in control of my emotions better.
hell you like reading it.
my options are still open.
if i meet another wolf tomorrow,
one that is feeling me,
do you really think ima turn it down?
now i know you crazy.
i realize i may not get him.
it makes me sad sometimes.
i also realize if it did happen,
he will look at me like all the others.
i guess thats why i don’t “tell him i’m feeling him”.
i don’t want to ruin what we have.
it will become like “this world” and i guess i’m trying to avoid that.

i’m sure i have wrote your eyes off,
but thats my true statement about this entire issue.

largei don’t know what else i need to say.

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Author: jamari fox

the fox invited to the blogging table.

32 thoughts on “Confessions of The Fox You Think Is Stupid

  1. Not sure of where this entire situation will end up with you J but at least you’re being honest with yourself.

  2. I definately applaud you for this. I knew you liked him in a way that is not easy to let go. I knew you hadn’t let those feelings go and you were trying to make yourself feel that way. Thats y im such an advocate for getting answers no matter what the answer may be because that will let a person know exactly what to do with their feelings. Dont beat yourself up about it because it all aint on u. Even if work wolf us actually str8 he has done things that were ambiguous that made you feel something more was a possibility. We have all been round str8 dudes before and not fallen for them. Work wolf is sumthin extra his intentions are not easy to pin point.

    Trust me i get it falling for guys like him. For me the average gay man just wont do. I never have been able to connect with them because our views are completely opposite. I normally get along better with str8 or str8 identified guys. I realize that if they mess with me they not str8 but its somthin about them. Like they aren’t caught up in the gay lifestyle and im not and i like that. However they come with a whole lot of other issues.

    U dont have to profess your love/like for work wolf. However your feelings are at a point that not knowing is gon drive you crazy. I think telling him that yo vixen friend thought he was in to you is a perfect way to open a convo that leads to answers. First you will be telling the truth and at the very least let him know to let that go. Also it takes it off you. Like i said he is comfortable around you and hasn’t held back from you. You can get what you need without putting yourself out there.

  3. Nothing else needs to be said, there is no judging here in this space you provided. I’m glad you’re able to be honest with us and yourself on this situation. I’m in the same boat as you, fall for the straight wolf who happens to be really good to me but hey that’s our life. You have been going with the flow and asking questions I say keep doing YOU, because at the end of the day it’s you making these choices not anyone who comments on this blog.

  4. …you don’t need to say another word…you are perfect, perfectly flawed like all the rest of us…and you are strong enough to own it….that shit is beautiful if you ask me.

    1. I love this statement jonny. I agree, It’s beautiful to me too. A rare quality that most people lack, is to admit their own faults. It takes a lot of character for sure.

  5. J, I’ve been telling you that it’s okay to have your feelings for work wolf from the jump, just continue to be honest about your feelings, and BE AWARE of your feelings because it helps to understand why you’re feeling the way you do, and to be careful about how you approach this situation.

    I’m sorry, but anyone telling you to just end this situation is obviously a little delusional, I understand that you have to work with him and the “what-ifs” afterwards but it’s just not enough of a reason to not see where this is going.

    Jamari, I feel that you owe it to yourself at this point to see this through, but I want you to be prepared for the worst case scenario okay? Just be prepared and really try to keep an open mind with Work Wolf, and just keep an eye on him and his moves.

    Whatever you decide to do in this situation, I support your decision, there’s no black & white answer to this so just go with your gut/heart and trust your intuition. That’s really the best you can do!

    1. oh, and your photo above inspired me. I need to get to work, even if it sucks! I’ve been stuck in my own mind for a bit.

  6. I get it. Definitely don’t cheapen yourself for some random hookup. Been there. It’s empty after a while. I have a buddy who has literally slept with over 500 guys in the DMV area. Like…since Adam days. Smutted out.

    Now..regardinf your feelings towards son, I get it also. I have a best friend who’s loyal but we also used to fuck around for years as teens into our early 20s. But when it ended, it ended. Our past made our bond strong but it also drove us apart because I think he blames me for “turning him out”. It’s all love still. But our friendship will always be affected. No matter how many gfs we have or kids, we’ll both still have that taste in our mouths.

    It’s dick. The taste in our mouths is each other’s dicks.

  7. This is a great post J. I don’t think anyone thinks you’re stupid. We can all relate to your struggles. We’re all gay, bicurious, bi, “straight,” and many of us, like you, are LONELY. This life sucks, its stressful, it’s depressing. So sometimes when we get the attention we’ve been craving, we lose our ability to reason. OR we try to rationalize every little thing to our own detriment.

    There is nothing left to say. That’s your truth.

    So where do we go from here?

    If you force yourself to remain friends with him, nothing will change. Considering ALL of your posts about him, I honestly don’t think you would be able to do this without going absolutely crazy. You’ll continue lusting, he’ll continue toying with you, and you’ll remain unfulfilled.

    If you try to take it to the next level (aggressively), you could potentially scare him away. For good.

    If somehow ya’ll end up fucking, then you would have at minimum gotten what you wanted. HOWEVER, you will NEVER be able to fully satisfy him. He likes women, A LOT.

    Also, there is always the possibility that he isn’t gay, bi, bicurious, AT ALL. Nothing is confirmed.

    How well you suck his dick, cook for him, or care for him etc is irrelevant… you will never be able to give him what he likes…..a vagina. He will pursue women in your face (i.e you friend), he will essentially run around behind your back with other women. You come off as the possessive type, so I don’t know how open you are to sharing him.

    This is reality. Yes, you did put yourself in this situation. But you admit that. I think 90% of us would find ourselves in the exact same situation. Thanks for your honesty.

    I wish I had the answers to this. Honestly, I don’t. This is a TOUGH situation to be in.

    Take care of yourself man.

    1. ^out of every comment I have received about this situation,
      this is the one that nearly made me cry.
      this is tough.
      everyone always tells me “let go”,
      I did,
      thinking I may have been onto something,
      and I end up landing face first in the mud.
      you get it atl.
      It doesn’t help I see him everyday,
      we talk everyday,
      and he is opening himself up further everyday.

      smh.
      you get it atl.

      1. J, This is literally my life experience. So many of us can relate to you. You aren’t alone. Especially those of us who are not technically on the “outs.”

        Letting go is not even an option. You see this man everyday. I firmly believe that you both have real feelings for each other. They aren’t specifically romantic feelings, but he gives you the companionship you crave, and at the same time you are exposing him to a life that he never really knew existed, or believed he had access to.

        You’ve lost your parents, and your BEST FRIEND. Then, here this guy comes along…. I get it. He fills a void. Something you don’t want filled with random sex, hookups, or superficial friendships.

        Abandoning him now would be cruel, and would lead you feeling guilty. You would inevitably hurt yourself, and him.

        I wish I had answers for you. Advice on where to go from here. But all we can do is see how this plays out. Prepare yourself for hurt.

        Please, just guard your heart. Manage your expectations. Be strong man. I believe in you.

    2. @AtlAnonymous, Bro I wish I could get to you just to give you some dap on this comment. Man going through my own situation right now with a dude similar to this and this comment has put some things in perspective. So many times on here the comments end up helping somebody else that you dont even realize it. I love the foxhole because cant nobody break it down and tell it like it IS better than the foxhole. Bless you bro for your insight.

      1. Thanks Tajan. If anything, we all have a lot in common. We ALL make mistakes. There is no manual for this life. Not many couples we can look to for inspiration. This site invites us to not only look into Jamari’s life, but to share our own experience as well. There’s a diversity of perspectives.

        Not to mention we can dabble in the ratchet, lust after the gorgeous, and have some real heart to heart moments. lol

  8. So I guess this whole entry was cute for : Watch what the fuck y’all say to me on my fucking site. Get off ya high horses and stop ackin like y’all ain’t never been in my position before.

    LMFAO!!! Go off Jamari.

  9. i have told you time and time again. Introduce another wolf in to the picture. stop making him the apple of your eye. Date somebody else, go out with somebody else. He displayed affection for another woman in front of you, you felt some type way and he was soaking it all up. He clearly was looking for your reaction. And your weak dry ass “lol” was all the confirmation he needed to know his actions got to you. In order to catch you must be a wolf. This game is textbook. Your sweet and emotional and genuine but dammit your upsetting me. lol Stop being so damn predictable and submissive. For the last time, go on a date and tell him about it. “Make a comment about other attractive wolfs. friends” talk about stuff like that. Create some wonder about you. Your fixating way too much on him. Stop being a victim to these bi curious mind game. You like him, you want the dick. Fair and honest. But emotionally tormenting yourself is not the answer. YOU NEVER keep 1 worm on the line. Mingle, diversify, get off his dick so he can bring it to you with a bow wrapped around it.

    1. Excuse all my typos I was trying to quickly and discreetly type before my boss came. #fuckcorporate But you are not stupid, you’re letting you emotions rule you. Feelings are not facts. If you want him, you can have him. Stop questioning everything he does and say. The attraction, interest, is evident. Now stop trying to “appease” him and “be there”, and “teach him” and just attract him. Have fun babe. Take the drama out of everything. Be flirtatious and free. You’re young and sexy and single. He isn’t the first or last wolf, trust me. Every fox has a lil wolf in them and vice versa. Embrace it. And remember feeling are not facts.

  10. I can feel where you are coming from. I fell in love with a straight friend and he knew along with all of our friends. I was not out verbally but all the signs were there. I did everything for him. All I could get was a hug, hand holding and, I love you. He got married, the wife accepted me as a friend and then he left us both. I cried for days and weeks but finally got over him. I love now with some sense. They now I love them but I only put up with so much junk before its time to walk away. You will learn as you age. I did. Make your mistakes now so when you get older it will all be behind you. I am going to email you my current situation. You will see where you fit in later in life.

  11. At this point, I really do not you to keep stressing over this dude. I know you think about him a lot. When he said sleeping with man is disgusting, that was all of it in my opinion. If he was around people when it was said it would be different, but he said this to his gay friend who he knows is gay. Done. I will not stress over a man who is straight, no one should.

  12. Let It Out!!! You have the right to feel however you want to feel about whomever. If this situation goes good, bad, or nowhere at all, we’ll be here.

  13. I assume you wanted to bait me for a response so Im going to give you one my opinion of you shouldn’t matter. I do think you are stupid posting poorly written material and crawling my old blog posts for mere imitation I hope it finds you inspired. You are a stalker get off my cock!!!

  14. We will never be equally yoked, and I doubt someone like you even prays to GOD because you are the type of person who will post anything to draw attention to yourself. Its like a minstrel show or that of a clown your morals are piss poor now as I said before get off my cock!

"off topic" and other nonsense gets sent to my spam folder. other than that, play nice and let's discuss!