last night was interesting.
oh and i’m off today.
my boss let me have a four day weekend for all my hard work.
anyway so back to the interesting that was last night.
work wolf and i…
yeah all signs are pointing to…
so after the hell that was “bring your cub to work” day,
he hit me up at 5pm asking me if i still wanted to go.
“of course” – i said.
the budget was 800.
so we hit up a number of stores and tried on various outfits.
he definitely has been working out.
he is starting to morph into this muscular thickness.
his upper body and arms are on fleek.
his ass and thighs are more pronounced.
my body was on ten.
so i styled him in:
we talked the whole time we were shopping.
i got to know him a lot better.
he started to annoy me at one point.
he is very impatient.
like he catches an attitude if he has to wait.
he is also kinda awkward.
its sorta cute.
one thing i noticed is he is also very insecure.
he said to me while looking in the mirror:
“you can say it jamari.
i reassured him his body looked good.
he does have a little tummy.
he also doesn’t think he is attractive.
i gathered that by little comments he made.
i won’t lie to you,
but i am 50/50 on being attracted to him.
he knows that i’m gay as well.
he didn’t have to say it out loud,
but i can tell.
it made me realize he is straight,
as he was checking out various vixens around us,
but he is emotionally drawn to me.
i can live with that.
he was telling me more about liar liar too.
he brought this up as we shopped:
“yo she is freak.
don’t judge me or laugh when i say this.
she told me she wanted to eat my ass.
i never had it done before,
but she said once she does it to me,
i will like it.
son i was like wow she is wild…”
he found out how much of a hoe she was.
how he saw texts from others who have smashed.
he still wants to fuck her.
just because i want to smash doesn’t mean i have feelings for her.
she is a hoe.
i tell her what she wants to here so i can beat it.
think like a pineapple”
thats when i knew he knew.
he is also getting pretty serious with this new vixen he met.
“you know i’ll tell you how this goes…”
she wants to chill with him this weekend.
all in all,
he was really appreciative for the help.
he hugged me before he got off the train.
i’m trying to emotionally remove my feelings for him.
it will definitely go nowhere,
but i can see us being close.
he wants my friendship.
i just have to accept what will never be,
go ahead and find someone else who is interested,
but accept a close friendship with him that will.
…why do i feel so sad today tho?
and will you judge me if i admit that?