All Signs Point To…

tumblr_lrb7yvT91q1qmyqfmo1_500last night was interesting.
oh and i’m off today.
yay.
my boss let me have a four day weekend for all my hard work.
um score?
anyway so back to the interesting that was last night.
work wolf and i…
yeah all signs are pointing to…

so after the hell that was “bring your cub to work” day,
he hit me up at 5pm asking me if i still wanted to go.

“of course” – i said.

the budget was 800.
so we hit up a number of stores and tried on various outfits.
he definitely has been working out.
he is starting to morph into this muscular thickness.
his upper body and arms are on fleek.
his ass and thighs are more pronounced.
indexmy body was on ten.
so i styled him in:

2 outfits
underwear
sneakers
 diesel watch

one of the male salesman,
who was definitely attracted to him,
gave him a nice discount.
back up hoe.
we were over budget by 50 dollars.
not bad.2014-03-25-5_lawordernot bad if i do say so myself.

we talked the whole time we were shopping.
i got to know him a lot better.
he started to annoy me at one point.
he is very impatient.
like he catches an attitude if he has to wait.
he is also kinda awkward.
its sorta cute.
one thing i noticed is he is also very insecure.
he said to me while looking in the mirror:

“you can say it jamari.
i’m fat.”

um.
i reassured him his body looked good.
he does have a little tummy.
he also doesn’t think he is attractive.
i gathered that by little comments he made.
i won’t lie to you,
but i am 50/50 on being attracted to him.
he knows that i’m gay as well.
he didn’t have to say it out loud,
but i can tell.
it made me realize he is straight,
as he was checking out various vixens around us,
but he is emotionally drawn to me.
i can live with that.
he was telling me more about liar liar too.
he brought this up as we shopped:

“yo she is freak.
don’t judge me or laugh when i say this.
she told me she wanted to eat my ass.
i never had it done before,
but she said once she does it to me,
i will like it.
son i was like wow she is wild…”

he found out how much of a hoe she was.
how he saw texts from others who have smashed.
 he still wants to fuck her.

“jamari.
just because i want to smash doesn’t mean i have feelings for her.
she is a hoe.
i tell her what she wants to here so i can beat it.
think like a pineapple”

thats when i knew he knew.
he is also getting pretty serious with this new vixen he met.

“you know i’ll tell you how this goes…”

she wants to chill with him this weekend.

New-york-knife-2kinda,
not really.

all in all,
he was really appreciative for the help.
he hugged me before he got off the train.
i’m trying to emotionally remove my feelings for him.
it will definitely go nowhere,
but i can see us being close.
he wants my friendship.
i just have to accept what will never be,
go ahead and find someone else who is interested,
but accept a close friendship with him that will.

…why do i feel so sad today tho?
and will you judge me if i admit that?

tumblr_mxeo2g1oIH1sgfdvyo1_400

Author: jamari fox

the fox invited to the blogging table.

37 thoughts on “All Signs Point To…

  1. Yo, I swear I waited for this all night long J. Almost like a phone call from a friend telling my how it went. LMAO.

    Realities suck. They really do sometimes. Living in our dream world, we paint such pretty pictures… then BOOM. Picture isn’t so pretty now & isn’t everything we planned. I always seem to fall into these issues. Falling for the unavailable… ALWAYS falling for the unavailable.

    I read somewhere that individuals who constantly fall for the emotionally/physically unavailable subconsciously feel unworthy of love, so they seek out ones who inevitably don’t love us back. Ehhhh…

    Anyways, nah, we won’t judge. You’re disappointed, that’s all. It’s positive to admit and deal with real emotions. Betters you as a person. Your baby’s father is coming, don’t you worry… LOL.

      1. Wow, You’re killing me witht hat description! Sounds heavenly!
        Idk if I’d be able to help myself around him with an ass like that! Too much temptation! and he’s muscular? I’m on board! LOL

    1. “I read somewhere that individuals who constantly fall for the emotionally/physically unavailable subconsciously feel unworthy of love, so they seek out ones who inevitably don’t love us back.”

      This vis very true. Love this.

  2. WHAT?!!!! He hugged you? Oh shit son!!! You are playing a dangerous game lol. The conversations y’all are having are getting a lil deep lol. He seems comfortable opening up to you, but don’t end up letting your feelings get involved tho. You know I know about that. I think he knows you get down as well, but do not allow him to play you for a fool. I personally believe he tells you shit just to see if you will go back and tell it. I have a feeling the two of you will be around one another for a while. Keep a line between y’all now. I don’t want to read about him cuddling up next to you in bed lol.

    S/N: You guys know I have to update y’all on that dude I was trying to get at. Well I kept pursuing him anyway, I know. I had to see where it was going, judge me if you want lol. Well, it was going nowhere and I’m relieved. He told me he wasn’t feelin me, which was a first. I know right!!! I also discovered he was a fellow Wolf, which made shit even worse because I chased him for a minute. I was upset I he wasn’t honest with me sooner, which is why I confronted him. From there, I called him a pedophile and the rest was history. Yea, that came up, y’all know I’m crazy af lol. We fought til the wee hours of the morning and I told him off for filth. I went in on his ass like I never have anyone before. Then I drug his filthy ass outside by his high top fade onto the curb in time for the 6 am trash pickup. Done with that trash.

    1. ^lmao!

      if we cuddling in bed,
      you know I won.
      I told you we talk about a lot of things tho.
      he shares a lot with me.
      I started opening up about my life a little.
      nothing too crazy.

      I am trying my hardest to remove how I feel.
      it’s not easy.
      but I’m trying to keep everything I didn’t like about him to the forefront.

      I’m glad you for rid of that jackal.
      he def needs a trash pick up.

    2. STOP! You called him a pedo?! LOOL! I told you that you’re too fly to be messing with a low-key pedo anyway ROFL!

      Sorry that it didnt work out man, but you deserve a real fox, not some jackal, who IS feeling you, and isnt about these damn games people play.

      Some of these dudes out here sounds disgusting, maybe I should stop trying to look for someone lol…
      I don’t put up with no one’s shit, never have, never will. I’m too much of a “dignified” fox/hybrid for that. Heh heh.
      Sounds like you went ham at this guy Man LOL! On to the next one I suppose! Too bad you didnt know he was a wolf sooner…awwwkward.

      1. Yea, I called him a pedo. I took his ass to the butcher and chopped off his neck. He lied about his birthday saying he was born in Feb “95”. Your birthday was in November my nigga. LMAO. Lied about how he met his boyfriend and where he lives. How did y’all go to school together when he is a junior in high school and your a junior in college? I’ll wait. You were a freshmen in college when he started high school lol. No his boyfriend didn’t fail. So how did y’all attend school together? C’mon man!!! I told him to go to sleep lol.

        He be muggin me on the low in class lol. He threatened to out me at school and everything. I told him I will bring this shit up in class. You know I will. I ain’t worried. I got his ass shook lol.

      2. LMFAO!! I’m fucking rolling over here! You must be a riot in real life omg.

        ew this guy is dirty. If he’s lying about all that, who knows what he would have got you caught up in. I hate messy people.

        You dodged a bullet. Its a good thing this didnt work out! Go get you some prime foxtail brother! Leave the trash where it belongs, in the alley with the other jackals who eat from it.

        S/N: You don’t play! We would get along nicely! LOL! I’m a nice guy but i can shut it down real hard, real quick! I like when people know how to lay down the law.

  3. Don’t feel bad J. It’s a normal feeling. We’ve all been there. Interesting that you say he comes off insecure and awkward though. You give him attention, which is perhaps something he craves as a direct result of this insecurity. You can definitely be emotionally present for him, but it may become exhausting after a while. Not to mention you have a crush on him, so it may cause you to react and even lash out in ways you wouldn’t expect.

    He’s obviously into women, and knows you’re gay. If he knows, then its safe to assume that your coworkers know as well. I will say keep away from conversations about liar liar though. Change the subject when he brings it up. Gossiping about her won’t do you any good in the long run lol. They can fuck each other into the ground for all you care.

    Be careful out there man! Your time will come!

    btw, How the HELL do you have a budget of $800 and only put together TWO outfits? (*Does math*) I’m so confused. TWO outfits…..Like………..lol

    1. I swear I was thinking the same thing. Lol. With $800 he would’ve had multiple outfits, gas, dinner, movies, and about $300 left over. But I am somewhat frugal and I do live in Virginia lol.

    2. Shittttt, I was scratching my head too! I must be cheap as fuck but I don’t shop like that for whole outfits. Student loans and car note will have me turning down real quick. Lmao!

  4. ooo Story Time!
    I’m honestly happy you have someone to talk to there Jamari. Its not healthy to hate EVERYONE you work with (believe me, I would know, I’ve been there LOL)

    I’m sorry that it didnt work out buddy, he may be fine, but you’ve still got bigger plans that’s above his calibre anyway. I know its hard, I’ve been there, hell you get much farther than I ever would so kudos on that!.

    and if he’ still muscular, nothing wrong with a little extra tummy meat. I wouldn’t judge! I don’t like super-roided up looking men much anyway, natural thickness and muscular is a huge turn on (well at least for me anyway rofl)

    I like hearing about your stories with him J! Have fun with it!

  5. Please. He’s playing the game. He gets down or has gotten down.Straight niggas will stop hanging out with you the minute they suspect anything. He aint slick.

  6. You sure he doesn’t get down? This all sounds like a man who isn’t sure of himself. I have gotten with this type before. He wants you and still wants to hold onto his straightness. You are making him confused but he still has you by confiding in you. Hold on because as soon as you meet someone else or he senses he is slipping away is when he will reveal himself.

  7. I have a feeling that he’s a tad bit curious. The mention of the hug solidified it for me. He may need someone to stroke his ego just a bit and maybe you’re the one who does it for him? Idk. Perhaps he is insecure with himself as a whole (sexual curiosity included) or you could intimidate him a bit. It sounds like a cute little friendship though, can’t wait to hear more developments.

  8. I was checking this site all last night for the update!!! You didn’t disappoint today! I’m sorry but he sounds highly curious. He knows about you with that “think like a pineapple” comment. You probably are making him aware of his sexuality and he is fighting it. Bisexuality does exist so don’t rule anything out with him still liking women. He might have dropped the hint about eating his ass too. I would get rid of the emotions and keep on being in his radar! God speed!

  9. Drop his corny ASS….or slut him out and follow his pineapple directions…he wants you but wants to play that whole stupid game so he can claim he didn’t know what happened….HATED IT!!!….EVERYBODY CAN GET GOT…just depends on yo patience level…BEAT OFF and MOVE ON

  10. Honestly i’ve been waiting for this post. I just want you to be happy. Give all this attention to someone who’ll give it back 110%. Still don’t trust the dude.

  11. this is a tough one. i’m not sure just how much you’re into him, but I think a decent friendship could be in the works. sometimes ppl are drawn to each other in ways that go above and beyond intimacy. you may need his friendship right now or in the future and the same for him. whatever it is you guys have may be necessary for both of you to grown into who you’re supposed to be. one of my BFFs is undeniably and unquestionably hetero but he’s affirming and understanding. we started off the same way and our relationship grew. I was attracted to him but he was drawn to me because of my energy. I’ll admit though, that once I got over the “wish factor” and my friends telling me he was into me, I found we had a lot in common and he was ready and willing to be a good friend.
    i think this funk will pass soon enough. you’re boo is on his way – hell you’re in NY!
    just remember, when life is uncomfortable, that’s when we’re growing.

    But I’m soooooooo with ATLAnonymous: if you can, try to avoid talk about LiarLiar. Heteros think they can detach but they get caught up by good poon-poon and get to blabbin’ all types of stuff. He might not catch feelings but he has to entertain and make convo, and becasue LiarLiar has no life, work will often be their talking points. #ijs

  12. I agree with Brave, people that consistently chase unavailable/uninterested men usually don’t deem themselves worthy of love or feel inferior altogether.

    I went through it for a long time. Thinking if I was nice, loyal, dependable, and willing to compete and play the game, I’d show the object of my affections I was the superior choice. The problem with that reasoning is you develop the idea you have to fight and struggle SO DAMN HARD just to be loved by someone. Love, effort, and respect should be mutual and if you find yourself fighting for it in the beginning of your interactions with someone you always will be. Following crumb trails hoping they’ll lead to something that’ll make you happy.

    I’m done with that way of thinking. A person that values themselves and what they have to offer should choose, not wait to get chose. Currently not interested in being around anyone or meeting new people, but the laws of attraction are funny because with my new line of thinking I’ve attracted much better people than I have in the past. I still don’t respond to crumbs though!

    I find it exhausting on the mind, heart, and spirit. I see so many of ya’ll looking for clues he may be interested like you’re Inspector Gadget, fighting so hard to make the pieces fit. Who’s fighting for you?

    I don’t get how someone’s response can be “you should keep trying” or “he sounds curious to me”, when Jamari clearly states he trying to keep it friendly. The epitome of THIRST in my opinion.

    He might very well be “curious”, but the fact remains if he really wanted Jamari like that he’d put in the effort and indicate that.

    I welcome anyone to tell me an instance where gay man chasing some presumably straight man worked in his favor. Who here has brought a straight man to the dark side and lived happily ever after? Who has brought a closeted man out the closet and is still with them? I’ll wait.

    I just found it ironic how below Brave’s comment were examples of the very thing he was talking about.

    1. ^i appreciate everyone’s comments.
      I do NOT want to like this guy anymore.
      I don’t want to look for signs or hold on hope that he comes around.
      i am not put second.
      i am always first.
      I refuse to be put second behind pussy.
      absolutely refuse.
      so im going to blast keyshia Cole,
      k Michelle,
      and every other “break up album” in my collection and start the moving on process.
      he needs to be friend zoned ASAP.

    2. Yeah, at this point, it doesn’t really matter what he is. It is what it is. That would have been my impression.

      This is why i draw a line at straight wolves, if thats what they identify themselves as. Its one thing to be closeted, but I’m not trying to “turn anyone out” I’ve got enough problems in this life than to try to “force” someone to like me, or to try to figure him out. Its just too damn hard.

      I’ll get the hint if a guy is making a strong effort to get to know me or something, but tbh, if its not obvious that you’re interested, consider me uninterested. End of story with these damn wolves.

      If you like me, make it known, if not, we will both keep it moving. Why can’t it be that simple?

  13. This blog is like a tv show or good book. I’m so glad I’m not the only one who was waiting for this update. I was up until 1 wondering if you both were fuckin lmaooooooo

    As for this guy it seems like he likes you but as everyone else said he is fighting his sexuality. You put a spell on him and he put a spell on you. You are more aware of your feelings than he is so you are sad by the outcome. He escapes his feelings for you by the many women in his life. there is nothing wrong with a friendship if all else fails. Your man is coming even if this one doesn’t work out.

  14. Can we talk about Liar Liar?

    I’m not sure how I feel about her eating the booty like groceries.

    Lowkey, I’m hearing it’s becoming more and more common for women to do that, but I feel like only certain types do that. Like ratchet women and straight up freaks/pornstars.

    Most men won’t even admit to straight up admit to eating a woman’s ass, so I can’t imagine a top notch woman committing that act.

    I’d never look at Liar Liar the same. I’d keep picturing her nose between some hairy butt cheeks. LMAO

    1. ^yeah she definitely has me looking at her in another way.

      he told me she wanted to turn him out in every way possible.
      I didn’t believe him until he showed me texts with her yesterday.
      chick is a freak.
      talking about taking his dick out her pussy and swallowing his nut when he is about to cum.
      she sexts better than me LOL
      she said she wanted to get him drunk and high and rape him.
      he isn’t bad either when it comes to sexting.
      he was also talking a lot of shit to her as well.
      lowkey turned me on.

  15. Yeah she sounds like one of those old school Heather Hunter, Janet Jacme type of freaks, which isn’t a bad thing, but women like that are created through experience.

    You can almost bet she’s been trained in more ways than one lol. His intentions might be to fuck and duck, but she could very well turn him out.

  16. Nope! No judgement at all….Back in the day, Europeans called is a romantic friendship. Lust fades, ride it out. Be a good friend, and if it’s true, accept the blessing that it is. At the very least, you’ll have more prep for the stray wolf that wants to dabble or is heading your “way”. Hell, he has other friends…the law of averages are on your side, LOL.

  17. You and me are in the same boat with these straight wolves, everyone has already stated what needed to be said. I’m just glad work wolf isn’t acting homophobic .

  18. My thing continue to be his friend and wait something good is waiting for you. We feel a lot of times that we can’t be friends with guys. Bi-Sexual men are out there by the numbers we just have to stand in line. I have had plenty of Bi-Sexual men that enjoyed my company and vice versa. I had one guy to ask me last year did I still dance and I said sure. Men are very strange and lust for other men. There is a deviant sexual side to all men regardless if it is acted upon.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *