aaron hernandez had a lot going on in his mind

the whole time i watched “killer inside: the mind of aaron hernandez“..


the documentary on netflix about what led to his downfall,
i couldn’t stop looking at one thing…

his eyes.
his eyes were the scariest thing to me.
i’ve always thought when i saw pictures and videos of him,
especially ones inside the court room,
they always looked blank and soulless.
there is nothing behind them.
he showed no remorse during the trail for the murder of odin lloyd.
even when he was found guilty,
it was like “oh ok whatever“.
after watching the documentary,
it explained a lot to me.

Aaron Hernandez was a true ass psychopath

he was able to live as a chameleon to hide who he truly was.
from his alleged confusion about his bisexuality,
to being a stone cold killing jackal,
he spent his life wearing different fur to hide who he truly was.
when he got around “like-minded” people,
it only enhanced who he truly was.
“show me your friends and i’ll show you who you are”?
i feel like once his father died,
and his ain’t shit mother made horrible decisions,
it took him on a downward spiral towards madness.
another thing that made me smh:

He wasn’t very smart

it was like he went on impulse rather than common sense.
how could you kill someone so close to your crib?
he left so much evidence behind on the crime scene with odin llyod.
it was like he wanted to get caught.

we will never know why he killed odin lloyd.
there was a side of me that thought they were allegedly messing around.
another side thinks odin said something and activated paranoia within aaron.

sidebar: am i the only one who thinks weed can bring forth intense paranoia?
according to the documentary,
aaron alleged used to burn it down on the regular.

between his cte and the smoking,
i feel that didn’t help.

this story goes to show two things:
the first was that you don’t truly know people.
folks out here wear masks.
they present one side of themselves to the “us”,
but can have some whole other shit going on in the background.
a good looking wolf like aaron was so damaged and troubled,
but folks would never have known.
he portrayed the baller wolf that was mysterious and charming.

the second was that if you clearly look at people’s lives,
you can see the places where shit takes a sharp turn left.
everyone has had traumatic shit that happened(s),
but the wrong people and decisions can ruin us.
right after my mother’s death,
i went wild and was out here running with drug dealers.
i was wearing the mask of “trying to be straight” to hang with them too.
there was a point i nearly got caught up and arrested with them.
if i didn’t have the folks who pulled me to the side,
who knows where i would have ended up.

it’s all so fascinating to me.
it makes me wonder if aaron had taken the right path,
would he have had this outcome?

it’s sad that we will never know.

Author: jamari fox

the fox invited to the blogging table.

17 thoughts on “aaron hernandez had a lot going on in his mind”

  1. How easy it is to be fooled by good looks and athleticism, one has to look beyond goods looks nowadays. Sad thing about this is that they’re so many other Aaron Hernadez’s that we don’t know about, so many angry young men out here battling all kinds of demons.

  2. Halfway through I realized he displays all the characteristics of a Scorpio. A ticking time bomb, no one knew what would set him off, mysterious, irrational, and reacts without thinking. And sure enough, he’s an unpredictable, over the top Scorpio serial killer. Possibly the most dangerous sign.

    1. Come on now. that’s far from the truth. crazy is crazy no matter what sign you was born under.
      I’m a Scorpio that doesn’t mean that I’m at murder.

  3. Damn, so I guess getting high made him feel kind of way with experimenting with men. Boy, I work in the field of health and wellness and I see this well too often.

  4. The Last book they put out showed everything from this documentary and a bit more. Apparently he tricked a male Stripper (Black Former Marine) into dancing for him and his buddies. Promising big money the dude did it but was put off about an hour in because Aaron was getting really handsy during the lap dance and the flop apartment had alot of drugs and guns. Then all the BS he had to go through to get paid the rest of his money was scary. They also alleged in the book the same week there was another murder of a dude in the area that remains unsolved and they think Aaron and his crew did it because the guy that died looked just like Odin and Aaron may have thought it was him. The book was really good but the authors had to reach out to sketchy drug dealer types to get a lot of the information , and the released jail tapes. I think the book was called Killing Fields. I would love to know who the other Football players were who were at the Drug Gun Stripper party because from the description there were only six guys there and they were all big buff guys like Aaron.

  5. Did anyone else appreciate the inside view of NFL and Closeted Gay Men!!! I found it riveting .

    I believe Odin and Aaron messed around . It is however very, very sad and disturbing that he violently took lives and my prayers go out to his victims and their families..

    I have NO sympathy for Aaron.

    I KNOW what its like to loose someone to violence and it breaks you …

  6. He doesn’t exactly look smart. He looks like a musclebound brute. The bar for attractiveness for other races is so low. We have to look like 10/10s and still get passed over for him who is barely a 5 in the Latinx community. I’ve only Black gay men and Black women lusting over him. Actual Latinx want Maluma types. Not him and his supraorbital torus.

      1. It just means brow ridge and it resembles greatly the ones that human ancestors had. It is something I cannot help but see after Anatomy & Physiology. Not to be shallow, but he has the bone structure of an orc.

  7. There are a lot of psychopaths in this day and age. Some of them don’t even know it yet….

    Credited….Albert Einstein once said, “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results.”

  8. Closeted dudes scare me. I have had a few moments when a dude started to break down after sex and I’m like, “let me get out of here before this nigga snaps and kills me for making him gay”.

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