keep your porch light off until he shows he is truly interested

lemme font to my foxes out there.
we haven’t talked in a while…
we gotta stop being too aggressive with these males out here.
like,
i’m all for taking charge for the d,
but most of these males are playing wack submissive ass games.
who has the time?…

i don’t know about you,
but i’m not attracted to “chase me” males,
yet those are the type of males i tend to attract.

it’s always these confused ass males that enjoy leading me on.
it’s them or the “too aggressive” that are a turn off from the start.
they don’t understand social ques and come off super desperate.
like,
not every time you hit me up,
you have to say something sexual about my bawdy.

i’m attracted to males with a quiet confidence.
i think that is where the confusion with me starts.
most of the males i tend to really like aren’t confident at all.
they tend to be low-key and drop subtle hints to get my attention.
i never notice them beforehand,
but something always leads up to me turning my porch light on.

“Hi!
I see you liking me and I like you back!
Okay,
so now you’re acting all distant once I showed you I’m interested.
WTF?
GO DIE!”


that being said:

THIS ALWAYS LEADS TO FOXES BECOMING AGGRESSIVE

that excuse of “we should have made the first move” is a dub.
if a male is showing his interest,
we are trying to get in that radar.
folks know when you’re feeling them back.
the biggest issue is…

WE END UP CHASING

it’s like the tables turn and we end up looking desperate.
i’m seeing the same pattern with vixens as well.
when a male is truly interested in you,
he’ll lace up his running shoes and get on track.
nowadays,
i don’t give too much energy anymore.
there has been a couple males i really liked recently,
but i saw myself heading into “doing too much” so i backed off.
i’m not repeating past mistakes again.
i’ll assume you aren’t feeling me and i’ll move on.
these days,
i’m learning to not add my emotions into liking any male.
until you show and prove that you want this good stuff,
you are in the category of wasting my time.

If he is actively pursuing me,
then cool.
If i can hit him up and we can talk on texts,
it’s all gravy.
hell if he tells me that he really wants to fuck,
i might book an appointment.

if i’m giving too much energy to get his attention,
because he made it seem like he was interested,
that’s when ima stop and check myself.
a male who is interested will always be bolder in returning the favor.
period.

low-key: i’m not given extra energy to anything besides me,
career,
living my best life,
and self care these days.
i’m tired.

Author: jamari fox

the fox invited to the blogging table.

16 thoughts on “keep your porch light off until he shows he is truly interested

    1. ^its ridiculous.

      some of these dudes act like they are they shit is legit.
      like,
      you bad at commutation and ain’t aggressive enough to get what’s yours.
      if this is a sign what the relationship will be like,
      i’ll pass

      1. Exactly!!! N I hate when I legit like someone and they say we should hangout. I don’t know if this will be on a platonic or romantic level, but I’m down to see. But then the next time I see the dude, I’m introduced to your girlfriend or see you with a girl and you’re acting brand new. Despite my reaction being childish, I’m going to fall back. I lose all interest after that. I don’t want to be friends. Lol. Unfortunately, this can become a constant pattern when you like someone who you’re not sure is gay or straight.

        1. ^thats the issue when you attract curious males.

          it’s like you are a magnet for them for whatever reason.
          you are this shiny beacon where they recognize their sexuality.
          NO.
          stay TF away.
          no one has time for these games anymore.
          either you want or you don’t.

          end of story.
          period.

          1. Question, do you all get this type of behavior from a certain ethnic group of males or all? Just curious if it’s the same in different parts of the country.

        2. Exactly!!! N I hate when I legit like someone and they say we should hangout. I don’t know if this will be on a platonic or romantic level, but I’m down to see. But then the next time I see the dude, I’m introduced to your girlfriend or see you with a girl and you’re acting brand new.

          All of this. They either want a threesome or cuckold. Not into any of that.

  1. To answer Josh’s question I know with me I have experienced certain ethnic group behavior. Foreigners tend to be way more open and friendly than you would think (At least when they’re in America). Hell the best dick and time spent with someone that I had was with a Russian. Hispanics while also open and friendly (my first was a Puerto Rican) and it can be kind of easy to get dick from them, they tenf to play games A LOT, ESPECIALLY Dominicans. You have to be careful with them because they can be extremely manipulative. They’ll spend time with you one on one (at their own request/insistence), can get very intimate with you on a personal level, not sexual though and basically have you wondering what level of the game your relationship with them is on. Friends or you trying to get a piece? Smh it can be like playing a game of Mario Go-Karts with them although when they get lit they become very OPEN about what they want from you 😂😂. The Whites (Especially those who have office jobs) can be very friendly and open on about the same level as the Foreigners and many of them can be extremely bold af in letting you know they want the cheeks or dick either openly or on the DL. My fellow blacks can play games just as much as the Hispanics, but very surprisingly are probably the most bold of the two if you’re in a private setting with them (this especially rings true for street/hood nigga’s either Hispanic or Black for damn sure) and probably out of all the ethnic groups imo give the most obvious “subtle” hints that they’re interested in getting down or experimenting. And they tend to be the most surprising as well. The one guy you would never think of getting down with the get down will end up saying some next shit to you leaving you like “Whattttttt?” 😂 Indians don’t play “games” and can be very open about getting down. You will definitely know if a Indian wants to fuck, but on the flip side they tend to become possessive once they get some.

    1. This is why generalizing and stereotypes are dangerous. What you have to consider is that we adapt to who we are dealing with. You don’t act the same way with your parents that you do, your friends or even co-workers. People change based on vibes. These men were dealing with you specifically.

      I have had very different experiences. Indian men are usually shy and docile with me. Middle Eastern men tend to be shy and passive with me as well. I have found the most aggressive ethnicity in MY experience, to be North Asian men. They are very practical, pragmatic and direct. South Asian Men range from aggressive to shy. I’ve only dated Black men, and I’d never do that “Black men are terrible, try other races” nonsense. Each Black man is different and even your background doesn’t always affect you. Plenty of Black men are “from the hood”, but upstanding, loyal and honest. Some turn out to be players. You have to let people be who they are. And most men come from homophobic backgrounds anyway, so this is why the games are played. They do want you, but also know they cannot bring you home, hence the distancing.

      1. Everything you said was accurate, but you didn’t have to come at me with the entire flamethrower 😂 I was just answering Josh’s question in relation to Jamari’s post about men from my POV with my opinions. Sheesh.

        1. I didn’t come at you with the flamethrower. I just don’t want someone chasing down an Indian man and getting mad when he doesn’t reciprocate. 🙂

      2. You have to let people be who they are. And most men come from homophobic backgrounds anyway, so this is why the games are played. They do want you, but also know they cannot bring you home, hence the distancing.

        Love this statement because that’s how I always would rationalize why so many mixed especially with black males.

  2. This topic. Middle Eastern men are aggressive. I have never seen an outright “passive” Middle Eastern man, their culture is ingrained with men being dominant, just like quite a few Hispanics are. The same with African men. These men are “bold” in a sense for a particular reason.

    Black American men are bold when they are horny just like most other men.

    Men play games the same ways as women do but for difference reasons. The majority of these men just want to bust a nut. They put up with enough dealings with females and don’t want to go through the trouble of it with a man either. They want a no strings attached nut.

    I still get hit on by dudes until they notice my finger…It’s cute, I guess.. but the fair amount of them that still have wives and girlfriends is disturbing…Instant turn off.

    However, you will find the occasional man that actually likes you… Just make sure he is available….as in single.

    If a man really likes you, he is going to make time for you. Scared or not, they are going to let you know and be concrete. Grown men are concrete. These games of chase are so grade school level. I could never take a man seriously who still does “bait and switch” techniques up till college.

    I had to tell one dude he needs to get it together. He kept talking about his family….so I’m like well, When are you gonna start living for you? If you can’t do that then you are better off by yourself. If you can’t make yourself happy alone, how do you expect to bring happiness to someone else together. You need to think on that.

    I know a lot of folks might call this mean but sometimes people need a reality check. Making excuses isn’t making progress.

    I’m not really that harsh on men, unless I notice a pattern. If I know a guy has issues, yes I will work with him because we all have weak areas that could use fine tuning, but I need to see some growth after a little time. If not, you will be considered a weed and be uprooted. I’m not demanding materialistically. I could care less about any of his material gains…more concerned about how he carries himself through life courageously. Gotta love a man that likes to see you smile and laugh. Those are the best men ever! They always love to see a smile on your face and it means he likes to see you happy.

"off topic" and other nonsense gets sent to my spam folder. other than that, play nice and let's discuss!