most folks don’t ever talk about their “in between” phase.
you ever notice that?
the “in-between” is like the points on a “12 inch ruler.

you can think of those as the times in between the grind.
it’s from when you got into struggle and when you got out.
most folks don’t ever mention those moments.
it was a time when it either made them bitter or better.
we are so use to seeing the after tho.
the “buying gucci” and “being able to eat at stk”.
what about the times they couldn’t afford any of that?
when you was at they was at their wits end?
they don’t mention when…

they had to call a friend at 2am because they were so full of doubt
there was “team no sleep” for real because they were racked with worry
they ate dollar pizzas because it was the only thing they could afford
nothing was in the fridge besides a box of baking soda and ketchup
they binged watched an entire season of “everything”
no one was calling, texting, and the phone was like the sahara
you were reaching out to folks in your career and getting ignored
the hours upon hours they felt both lost and suicidal

no one speaks/fonts about those times,
but see i think it’s important to acknowledge them.

1) it humbles tf outta you
2) it lets those know that when you were in-between,
there were moments when the momentum was lost

there was not always energy found to send emails or get in the studio.
money was funny and it was a sold out show.
some days,
it was hard to get out of bed.
some weeks,
you spent it just sitting on your couch being lazy af.
i’m not buying folks was out here acting like robots every day.
they were making money moves from sun up to sun down.
sure,
there is always a grind,
but there is also those down times when shit really sunk in.

yo.
i’m broke af right now.

i think it’s honest to admit that.
there are:

bloggers
stylists
singers
rappers
actors

…and other craetives who feel like they aren’t doing something right.
they are wondering if this is even worth it.
i like to share my in-betweens so when i look back,
i can remember what i went through.
from the depression to the tinest of wins.
it will help those on the come up who are struggling to keep it together.
right now:

i don’t feel 100% health wise,
my brain is outta whack,
and i don’t know who tf i’m sending a pitch email at the moment.
i feel lost and would rather finish up “this is us”,
continue “marvels agent of shield”,
and binge my other shows.
i don’t have a lot of motivation.
and i’m feel over everything today,
but tomorrow could be totally different.

that’s my honest “in between” answer.
sometimes the momentum is on a low heat,
but once it’s turned back on,
that’ll be what gives you the determination to make it.

“sometimes you need a little time to let things suck.”– teenage kevin, this is us