Rejection is a bitch, ain’t it?
ESPECIALLY from someone like this:
or even this:
You see the Wolf of your dreams and you must have him.
Why wouldn’t he want you? – you ask.
You are cute, have a great personality, and a smile that can light up the room.
Shit, fuck that, YOU ARE SEXY.
You are perfect.
So you think you have what it takes and go after your Wolf.
Only to get CURVED.
You play it off like you are good and that asshole didn’t know what he is missing.
Uh huh. Yeah. Shit.
Okay…
You think it is over, but it isn’t.
There is a lot more to come after that rejection.
How do you really react when you are rejected?
So you know how hard it is already in this lifestyle to meet a Wolf of your dreams.
You look at the Vixens and it is pretty much easy pickings for them.
Well some.
We tend to look at the Video Vixens and assume that is what ALL of them look like.
But realistically and at the end of the day, it is easier for them to catch a piece of penis.
So after the rejection, you think he is the only Wolf you could date.
He was “YOUR” type.
Everything about him was perfect.
So you go through the typical thoughts…
“What did I do wrong?
“Why didn’t he like me?”
“Am I ugly?”
… and then that brings you down.
You start to look at his pictures and feel hatred for him.
Few days later, you start to feel turned on by him.
Rejection can make you horny, I have learned.
So it is endless cycle until you meet another Wolf and make him your “obsession”.
Why do we do this?
Why don’t we just get rejected and say it is his loss?
Why do we mentally put ourselves so much drama?
For the last two days, this was my “lay back and lay low” weekend.
I did a lot of thinking, but I came to the conclusion I will NOT be everyone’s type.
Even though I have good success in people liking me wherever I go,
I am STILL not going to appeal to everyone’s tastes.
And that is OKAY.
There is a Wolf, somewhere, looking for me.
Shit, I believe there are WOLVES out there looking for me.
Fuck. That.
It got me wondering about rejecting the idea that you are not worth it.
Why do we never go after the Wolf?
Why do we take it out on out poor self-worth?
It seems after years of being rejected has caused most of us to be jaded.
We expect the worst and never accept the best.
So I had to ask…
It seems to me that he’s just a genuine friend. You have to be careful in these types of situations. Just because someone is nice and respectful to you does not mean there are interested in you. This is a mistake that many people make. I all apologize to all my friends when something happens and don’t have to be interested in them either. Some people think that they’re getting a special treatment when someone in particular is nice to them, when in realization, they act like that towards everyone. When your interested in somebody, you will see what you want to see, that’s just the way it is. Now if he’s giving you the stare downs and getting jealous when you hang around other people, that could be a sign.
i need to say that life is a bitch , im in a friend relationship with this guy…. he is my best friend he is like my brother, and i have to say that. man! this guy is everything i need to have in my life he is everything i want in a man, he cares bout me, he tells me that he will miss me if one day i decide to go or to end the friendship cuz hanging out with me is just to good, and every time he say that my heart smells and i just wanna hug him, but im afraid to do that .you know what i mean ? like thats the kind of guy that i need in my life the perfect for me. the other day we had a fight and we kinda stop talking to each other like for a week ,and then he sent me a DM on twitter saying that he was sorry that he treated me like that , and what can he do to make it up to me , i was like OMG , thats the kind of guy that i need in my life. he say what he feels and im like damm man, why cant he be my man he is perfect we are the same and everybody say it, that we are the same, and that we act the same… not every “straight guy” do that and apologize later.
P:S-i hope that somebody could reply on this
That comment below is to you foxmuscle
who is the guy in sweats????
Rejection feels different for me when it comes to certain things. Job opportunities are kind of like “eh” and i brush them off. With guys i like its tough for me because im very choosy and dont crush on too many boys often. Plus when i like you, I. REALLY. like you. So being rejected by guys I’m interested in makes me feel like maybe i did something wrong. Maybe I’m not cute, tall, short, masculine, fem, light, etc… enough. Maybe I shouldn’t have been so emotionally available. Maybe i should have been more upfront with my feelings. I’ll get upset about and ruminate in it for a while. Facebook and/or twitter stalk you. Pay attention to whoever comes after me to see what they were like and compare myself. Eventually i get over it. I recognize that my ability to cope with rejection is tied to how i feel about myself. rying to lie to myself and say “well its his loss” sounds nice but it doesn’t really work for me. I have to remind myself that he isn’t the last guy on earth and if i managed to find him, hopefully ill find someone who likes me back who fits that criteria.
I think for us foxes, since we do not come across our type often we tend to get really attached to the guys we’re interested in. It’d be easier to not take these things so personally if there were tons more to choose from. It’d be easier to believe that there are attractive wolves out there looking for us if there were more evidence to prove that. And going after wolves is tricky because although they may claim to want to be pursued sometimes, the reality is that when you do… they tend to be turned off. They don’t like it when you come as strong as they do and tell them things they say to you. So instead we have to walk the line and try to be confident in ourselves while at the same time being friendly and saying hello and make small talk in hopes that he’ll see how great we are and want to make a move and isn’t a heterosexual who just happens to be really nice.
Have you ever noticed that if you go into something expecting the worst..if the worst does happen, its no surprise and you’re able to just brush it off?..or is that just me?
Exactly! I’ve just come to react that way when faced with new people or situations.
^EXCELLENT ADVICE!!!
If I am really feeling someone, and I have known the person for some time, and I get rejected, it is a different feeling from being rejected by someone with whom I do not know. I try to be very discreet about my feelings toward someone. So if I get rejected by the person I knew, yes it hurts, because now the person knows that I was interested, and the feeling was not mutual. If it was someone who I just met, I pretty much brush it off as their loss.
^is that feelings from a Wolf?
Because as a Fox,
Being rejected can feel like the WORST thing in the world.
Its a human’s feelings.
I think at the end of the day, how you feel about yourself is what matters the most. How someone else dictates you, could count just as much as everyone in the world giving a shit about how you really feel. Everyone has their own way of expressing how they handle rejection, which I think was a good way for Jamari to open up this topic for discussion. Everyone isn’t going to handle it the same just like everyone isn’t going to take that chance or risk of being rejected, if they already see body language or a lack there of, from the jump. It may have something to do with the person’s confidence or self esteem but it may also have something to do with a lot of prejudging going on. Hell, I prejudge – I’ll be the first to admit it. I will see a fineeeeee ass dude and say to myself, “I know he must have bitches going after him left and right and by that, its filling his ego up even more where I’ll just be another chick on his belt if I approach him with intentions of getting to know him..I’ll pass!” Hey, that’s just how I do it. It saves me time and spares me the results. Granted we could be missing out on getting to know someone good and damn right down to earth but at the same time, its up to that person on whether or not they want to make that decision. What works for one, may not work for the other.
As I stated in my last post, I agree with everyone..how they feel is what works for them.
Now this is real.
I’m the same exact way. I take everything personally. I can’t help it. Doesn’t matter how major or minor the rejection, Whether it be in romantic situations or career opportunities. i take shit to heart.
I don’t know if there’s a huge difference in the way men and women reject. But there is a difference when it comes to level of maturity.
The difference when it comes to me though is that sometimes I’ll purposely put myself out there even if I know there’s a possibility I’ll be rejected. Not because I’m unafraid of rejection, but because I think it makes me tougher.
I used to feel some type of way the couple times I was rejected but then I realized I’m not everyone’s type just as everyone is not my type. Its really just that simple and if you remember that, you wont become jaded or have ill feelings towards who ever rejects you.
I’m very selective and have a very specific type and it KILLS me when I reject a dude and they get all upset and call you slore, you think your better than everybody, and the list goes on. Wasn’t I the same dude you were trying to holla @? Just dont be that guy that gets bent out of shape when you get rejected, you look like a fool and now I’m even more un-interested.
We all get rejected in life whether its by someone were interested in, a job, hell even a mortgage, but life does go and and we have to remember to brush it off and keep it moving
I know this is a serious topic, but who is dude in the sweat pants and fitted?, DAMN he’s bad. We all have been rejected at some point, if it hasn’t happened, it will eventually and you better be prepared for it, that’s just a part of life. When it does happen, you have to keep your head up and keeping it moving. Just because one person doesn’t want you. doesn’t mean that another one won’t. When one door closes another one will open. People need to realize that it’s somebody for everybody. As time progresses, the person that rejected you will realize what they missed out on.
lmaooooooo@The Man..you are too much…see..I wouldn’t even approach a dude like that in the sweats simply because like Jay stated, I just cut myself out from the get go so that I don’t even have to worry about rejection. Everyone made valid points on how they recognize or label/deal with rejection
We can spout all of this politically correct bullshit about not dwelling on rejection, but the truth is we all have fragile egos and contrary to what people say, rejection is very personal.
I’ve noticed the way dudes reject you is different from the way women reject. A woman may just put you in the “friend zone”, while a dude (gay/bi) wants you to fall of the face of the earth as they know it.
I take everything very personal. Every criticism, every comment stays with me no matter how minor. I don’t really put myself in a position to be rejected, I either avoid or disqualify myself beforehand. I know I’ve missed out on a lot, but self-preservation is more important to me right now.
Your last 2 sentences bothered me. You can’t eliminate yourself before you even say 2 words to the person you’re interested in. Just like the guy at the top with the sweats and the fitted, he’s fine, which can be intimidating to some(not to me), and you may think to yourself, why would a man as fine as him want someone like me? Here’s the thing, just because someone might be intimidating on the outside, doesn’t mean they are on the inside. I used to talk to this girl that told me that she didn’t want to confess her feelings for me because I made her nervous and anxious when I was around her. I thought to myself, DAMN, I didn’t even know I had that effect, but I should have known that I did before she told me since the signs were there from other people also. I’m in college, and would you believe that when I walk past some niggas on campus they look off to the side.(I hate that) I know that it’s something to it because the same dudes do it repeatedly. This is not just for you to read it’s for everybody. The point is, a person won’t pull the wolf, fox, hybrid, or vixen of their dreams if they don’t have confidence.
^wow,
You just spoke my life story with that paragraph.
For a long time I thought the worst of myself,
When in actuality it was not a bad thing.
I understand where you’re coming from, but I see things differently. I feel like everyone should be aware of who is and isn’t in their league.
Eliminating myself isn’t as devastating for me as others, it’s just not that serious for me.
I do that with dudes where I look off to the side. Direct eye contact is usually too forward in passing. lol
For once, I had to do some actual rejecting this weekend. I tried to take the “I want talk to you anymore to you get the hint approach”, only to have this dude keep trying to make something out of nothing, and when I finally told him it will never be anything between us, he says oh you misunderstood me, I dont want a relationship with you, wow the constant calls and emails and messages to me thru my friends did have me confused. I have been rejected more times than an American Idol try out with a shitty voice, so I know it can hurt like hell but life keeps moving on and every once in a while you will get a chance to say Thank you God for not letting me get with this damn fool, who has ruin so and so credit, and gave them a STD, it could have been me because I was crazy about his ass. Whew I have actually dodge about 2 or 3 of those bullets.
Take it in stride and become a better person so you will be the one picking and choosing.
He did the ol’e “lemme reject you before you reject me” move..lol..typical..if he put so much effort into getting your attention, then what could have possibly been the purpose? Usually if dudes are trying to smash..that’s just it..they try n smash..not jump through rings and get others involved. Very well played Tajan!
This post is hiting home for me Jamari. Last week I had my job interview for the dream job I been wanting since college. Well needless to say I didn’t get the job and I was crushed. For a whole week I didn’t do anything cause i was so crushed but all my friends keep me up. I figured that that’s their fuckin loss and I could do better. So that’s the attitude we should have when a wolf turns you down. There are more fish in the sea and we can have our pick we just all need the fuck it attitude and watch how many stories everybody will have
lol..I’m loving this post Jamari!! YES! Rejection is a big bitch in a fucked up wig –but at the end of the day, maybe that one person wasn’t meant for you. They did you a favor and so the best thing to do in order to recover, is understand that everyone isn’t everyone’s type. That’s why we’re all so different. Granted, you can call one of your backup ding-a-lings over to thrust it into you and hopefully you’ll forget that anyone would ever reject you..but at the end of the day..your ass was still handed the gong.
Rejection can be quite disturbing and really, the only way to get over it is to be confident and sure in who you are. I know that I’m not every man’s type and so when I meet someone that I am attracted to and vice versa, I could care less about any other dude out there. Because someone doesn’t find you attractive, shouldn’t make or break you. You are who you are and if they don’t like it, well then its their loss and your gain.
*snaps*
Thanks boo again!
Mz.Bambi!!!<333
^thank you so much for the love Bambi!
it is good to see a vixen joining the discussion!