so things are going bad for mi.
i currently have my phone on “dnd”.
i wanted a break from everyone and everything today.
well i see i have a text from mi…
“can i borrow 60 dollars?
i’ll pay you back when i get my first check”
where am i getting 60 dollars from?
i don’t even have 800 for a “out of nowhere” bill.
i just paid rent too.
i don’t want to be an asshole and not help.
if it was me,
i would want someone to help me.
i don’t go around burning bridges either.
she also owes me money from when she was here.
i had to bail her out of not being able to pay her bills.
this is the issue i have.
those do me wrong and then they come back for help.
she is in struggle mode now.
the grass definitely isn’t greener on the other side.
i don’t even know if this is genuine or she is looking to take advantage.
i can’t trust her as i once could.
if i was to scrape together the money,
will she always run to me when she needs help?
i’ll become a atm.
so i have to ask the foxhole…
If you have made the decision to show her tough love, then you can’t go back on that decision. Tell her, “No!”
Tell her no, and the reason is becalms she owes you money from when she stayed with you. Don’t sugarcoat shit…be straight up! I’ve had family members borrow money only to never give it back…and then have the audacity to ask for more, thinking I forgot. Nah, I don’t play that. You burn me once when it comes to money, you don’t get another chance. And I have NO problem letting people know.
Currently I have two cousins that owe me about $250 apiece. I’m surprised at one of them because he’s usually responsible. The other, I should have honestly known better. He got me when we went to ATL on vacation for Christmas. We were supposed to split the rental car bill. He tried to put the car on his card, and of course it declined. I put it on mine. I mentioned it after the new year, and I got a promise that it was coming. So far I haven’t seen a cent. LOL
Like I said though, it won’t happen again.
i hit her up and told her i didn’t have it.
she understood and moved on.
she might be growing up.
there was no argument or drama to follow that “ok thanks”.
I don’t have it Mi….
I absolutely would not unless I have it to give and I feel that I would get it back in return. Some people see you as an atm or a stepping stool or a floor mat and you can’t give them that anymore you just have to remove yourself. I do like the comment above where you “accidentally” deleted it or “didn’t” see it.
Having existed as a financial first responder, gotta set limits. It feels not good to not come through, but you don’t have the convenience of even being petty, lol….send your regrets.
Easy. “I ain’t got it”. Followed by silence. Lol
You aren’t working. Case closed.
Very selfish of this “MI” character and she in debt to you! She putting herself before you and when you need help, her hands are clean. Now that you’re struggling, you will see ppl true colors.
First, what is the $60 for? Second, you gave a list of reasons why you shouldn’t.
Sometimes (no matter how much you may feel guilty for it) you have to say, “Sorry, I don’t have it to give you”.
Tell her you don’t have it
I’ve been dealing with a similar situation from a friend who goes through it and needs to borrow money from time to time. Honestly every time she askes I’ve been tapped out or needed to save my few duckies to survive the following week and I’ve been telling her that when ever she hits me up.
I’ma be honest Like you said with Mi even though she’s in a bad situation, YOU are too. You got to worry about yourself right now and let her know that you’ll be able to be an emotional support but not physical or financial one.
^always with logical and wonderful advice mikey.
you are absolutely right.
^what is “0”?
Four stages:
1. Not Important to you (ughh, do I have to?)
2. Somewhat important to you (I guess…)
3. Very important to you (must do it now)
4. Emergency (get that rent money together before the marshals come and put a lock on that door)
Where does you lending her $60 fit into these stages?
My phone would have “accidentally” deleted her contact info, thus not getting the message. Oops! I would have some reason to completely ignore a text like that. That’s just me though.
If I was feeling generous, I’d be nice and just flat tell her that I don’t have the money and leave it at that, but I know I’d be opening myself up to her complications by suggesting that if I had the money, I’d give it her, which wouldn’t be the case.
Most likely, I’d go with the first option and “not see” the message or my phone would “delete” the message or something. Long story short, don’t do it.
^i feel like…
i do all these good things for pineapples who don’t deserve me.
i’m always there and always loyal.
the thanks i get is to be shitted on.
she caught me at a time where i’m glo’n up past that.
i can’t forget how she treated me when she was here.
how i felt after that altercation.
the shit she put me through will always be in my mind.
i don’t think i will be helping her.
i’m just not “there” yet.