You Are Hurting Me (But Keep On Doing It)


this last year from me has been a consistent roller coaster.
i think i’m going in one direction and another drop comes up.
i’m tired of the drops.
how i’m still on it,
and not looking a mess,
is all thanks to God.
i still continue to hang in there,
even though many times i just wanted to jump off.
last night,
i got into a pretty deep conversation with the pretty vixen.
we were talking about where we been and where we are now.
i told her…

“the fox you met 5 years ago is not the one you know now.
i was at a job that was training me for this one.
now this one is the toughest,
but ultimately,
it’s training me for whatever comes next.
everything has changed with me.
my style has gotten much better,
i speak up for myself more,
and i’m not as scared to handle confrontation head on.”

she agreed.
she even said she wanted me to style her once i’m on her payroll.
i don’t style vixens tho.
without these challenges in our lives,
we wouldn’t get the training to become who we are meant to be.
we wouldn’t learn what and who are good for us.
i go/went through a lot with mi,
the foxhole,
and my job,
but there was so much value in those situations.
they have hurt me,
but i never experienced what they brought into my life before.
once you start looking at things with those eyes,
it’s like it all finally starts to make sense.

even though we can complain,
and complaining feels good sometimes,
we have to remember how far we have come.
without all the drama,
you couldn’t be evolve to handle the bigger challenges.
i guess we are sorta like pokemons
or something.

i hope i remember this when it starts to rain again.

Author: jamari fox

the fox invited to the blogging table.

10 thoughts on “You Are Hurting Me (But Keep On Doing It)

  1. I found myself recently just heavy. Since graduating college the first time I’d settled for HR jobs because they paid well but I wasn’t happy because Healthcare is my passion. So I’m currently pursuing another degree in Chemistry to prepare for medical school and I was growing weary because I had reached my limit for aid and didn’t really have the money to finance my career. They say God blessed babies and fools, and I’m no baby. On July 19th I told my HR job I was resigning effective August 3rd to go back into healthcare. Lo and behold August 3rd I get called by this medical company for an interview on August 4th. Went to the interview/job fair. Interviewed with the company. August 9th I was offered the job and was told they’ll pay for my education as long as I promise to work for them for a year or so after I graduate. The pay is the same as my last job too. My point is DON’T GIVE UP. Just because you have a nightmare doesn’t mean you stop dreaming. I’ve settled too long and I’m taking my life back. Getting my blessings off layaway this year. You know your worth and God has blessed you tremendously with gifts and Power. Tap into that Power and the world will be yours. #TESTIMONY I’m a living witness.

      1. I’m still in shock gave testimony at church and finished with a song (I lead the choir at church lol) life. Drug test tomorrow at Labcorp. I’m excited Sept 6th is my start date

  2. All we can do have hope and try to keep moving forward. Your blessings are coming to you just have faith that things will turn around.

  3. My last four years have been nothing but a roller coaster. Each time I thought it was going good something happened for the worst. Now going through this tunnel of unexpected unemployment, I know I will come out of it better and stronger than before. As with every obstacle I’ve faced the last four years, I’ve risen, and been able to look back like wow I went through that and I’m still here. Sooner, rather than later, I will recall this moment and realize that this was just another tunnel I’ve made it through to become a better person in a better place. Life is a roller coaster filled with highs, lows, and tunnels, you just have to do your best to stay strapped tightly in faith that it won’t knock you off track.

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