why does weed effect me differently than most people? (a random ass thought)

i swear i didn’t smoke any weed tonight.
the last time i got high,

it was pretty fuckin’ horrible.
it was at my old job before going to a birthday party.
i smoked because i wanted to let loose and be in the moment.
i thought i was good.
like many times before

It made me a paranoid mess.

ooooh Lawd,
was my mind going a mile a minute.
it helped calm down the anxiety i was having,
but i couldn’t get a grasp on a positive thought to save my life.
i will say it felt like it opened up my psychic bajan third eye.
folks were talking to me and i could sense their attraction to me.
in that moment,
i was fuckin’ professor x from “x-men”.
that would have been fun if it didn’t highlight all of my insecurities as well.
it never fails that when i’m high,
my mind goes to the deepest parts of hell.
i remember thinking about this wolf i’m interested in.
when i’m sober,
i saw the beauty in it all.
when i was high,
it made me see the ugliness of it.
it’s like i stepped outside of myself and had an outer body experience.

it’s like i can’t put it into words without sounding like i’m high af right now.

even when i smoked with work wolf,
it wasn’t good either.
i promise you i thought he was gonna kill me that night.
when i first started right after my mother passed,
it wasn’t as bad.
i don’t know if it was purp or dro,
but one of those strains had me feeling like i was the sexiest fox to hit this earth.
i was looking in my bathroom mirror,
looking at my face in all angles,
and wanted to fuck me on the spot.
i’ll take whatever weed that was for the win.

i admire those who can smoke everyday.
often times,
i ask what are they doing that i do wrong?
maybe the issue is…

I’m getting high with folks I’m not too comfortable with.

…and that is also including myself.
it sucks because people make smoking a blunt so glamorous,
but it’s like a trip to the swap meet for me.
i might have to accept that alcohol is my only stimulant and keep it that way.

Am I the only one that weed effects in this way?

lowkey: i don’t care if my future manz smokes.
i might try it with him even though i’m scared where my mind will take me.

Author: jamari fox

the fox invited to the blogging table.

10 thoughts on “why does weed effect me differently than most people? (a random ass thought)”

  1. Weed has the same effect on me. When not high, we see people and thing the way we want and or expect to see them. However, the weed takes away the special glasses and makes us see the true nature of those around us. Scary in a way.

  2. Had two bad experiences with Mary j. and now I stick to alcohol and I try not to overdue that either. Jamari I had the same experience as you. I was so high I could read people’s microexpressions, attraction, dislike, confusion. I think you naturally read people when you’re sober the weed just enhanced it when you were high or either the weed slowed down your perception to the point you could read them better.

  3. You should find out if you prefer sativa, indica or a hybrid then find out how many milligrams is best for you.

  4. [ This is only my personal opinion and wish the following wasn’t true]

    Weed makes me ” Paranoid” ( I am a deep thinker and very sensitive of others and self) It was good for…
    1) Music
    2) Sex
    3) Food

    I am glad its legal and that many enjoy it( smile)

  5. I’m not a smoker but I will smoke with a friend. Speaking of Edibles…oh.my.Damn..I bought some brownies from a friend, who is a chef and he makes desserts and he made it abundantly clear..just eat a small piece at a time. I bought four brownies from him. I didnt listen to what he told me and I ate 2WHOLE BROWNIES.
    I SWEAR I felt like I was gonna die. I was so paranoid, i was in bed laying on my stomach and I started moving my body like a helicopter propeller. I was so scared I wasnt going to wake up in time for work. Im so glad it worn off for me to function at work.

  6. Don’t eat edibles. The dosage is most likely too high. Dont smoke an entire L. One hit or two is enough for you (to manage if you want more). Smoke in a safe place like your crib or your best friends crib. Don’t make plans (thats the biggest amateur mistake). Smoking is not like pregaming with a bottle of vodka. Sometimes a line up of funny movies and a pizza is more than enough. Enjoy! x}

  7. you arent alone. I hardly ever smoke. a friend of mine gave me an edible last Wednesday. I was so paranoid. I was having fun, but i would lose track of time and it was stressing me out. I was so thirsty, so would keep getting water, but I would forget I got water and then would freak out that the glass was full. I ended up vomiting at the end of the night too. the problem i think is that I was too high.
    I think for people like us that don’t smoke, we have to be careful. that don’t get too high. I think a little high might be enjoyable.

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