control.
your control.
control in what you say.
control in what you do.
are you really doing it your way?
some of us in life want to be in control of everything.
we have to make sure things go smoothly.
when they don’t,
it can equal a disaster.
for the rest,
they live life on their terms.
they have fun and jump head first.
rocks or water,
who cares!
just jump and pray god has your back towards the bottom.
i had to ask…

Do you like to always be in control?

today i decided to get up,
even though i was feeling lazy,
and go take a walk.
i really wanted to get some fresh air in my lungs.
i put on the first thing i saw in my closet without a care in the world.
as i’m walking,
i decided to go get my hair cut.
i wasn’t going to until monday,
but i felt something pushing me in the direction of the barber.
my original barber wasn’t there so i had to go to a new chair.
well he fucked my hair up…
in a good way.
better than my barber.
i gave him a great tip after he was done.
since my barber is close to the train,
i decided to head downtown and go to best buy.
when i got down there,
i went inside and headed straight to the video game section.
there it was.

usually i live in a very contained budget,
but for the first time,
i didn’t give a fuck.
i think i left all my fucks in bed.
there is a wolf i always see when i go there.
tall.
caramel.
thick.
and this nice plump ass squeezed in his khakis.
i asked him to get the game for purchase.
when i got to the register,
we started talking about it.
i asked him if he liked it and he said he hasn’t left the house in 4 days.
he kicked his wife and kid out so he could play.
we randomly just started talking and when i was about to leave,
he wanted to show me something.
we talked and had this great conversation about the new play stations and xboxs.
for the first time,
i didn’t feel nervous or watching what i said.
i just let the shit flow.
before i left him,
i gave him my number and told him keep my updated on video games or whatever.
he took it and that was it.
in my mind me is straight and that’s it.
i wasn’t deciphering signs and all that bullshit.
i said to myself if he calls,
he calls.
he doesn’t at least i did something i don’t usually do.
life is good and all it took was my friend’s slap of tough love to wake me up.

i started to wonder about life and controlling it.
they say you should always live your life to the fullest.
you could die tomorrow and then that’s it.
bye bye you.
you’re six feet under,
your belongings go to someone or charity,
and you’re now a distant memory of good times or bad.
life is going to happen.
being on a tight budget,
fuckin someone on the first night,
or jumping out an airplane…
shit could just happen or go wrong.
as much as you try to protect yourself,
you can’t save and solve everything.
so does letting go and let god really work most of the time?
does he give blessings to those who just don’t give a fuck?
these hyenas and jackals out here fuckin’ unprotected,
messing with married wolves/hybrids/and foxes ,
and outing others without a care in the world,
do they live by this motto?
i like to think i’m a damn good person,
without so many things to offer,
but a “peanut” got the wolf.
peanut now has that wolf by the balls,
but im the one who is single.
are hoes living an uncontrolled life?
when it comes to life, love, and getting the wolf…

Should your inner asshole/dick be in control?