I am in the midst of a comeback foxhole.
i feel like i fell tf off within this last year.
i may have looked good and been taking care of myself,
but i’ve been battling struggles within.
i was feeling like shit earlier,
woke up all sad ‘n’ shit,
but something came over me and i said…
I’m tired of this.
thats when abused people are at their last straw and leave.
when people quit their toxic jobs to pursue their passions.
it’s when the shift happens.
It happens when YOU want to change.
people can tell you how you should feel,
but YOU have to be ready to make a change.
you know when you have proclaimed that you’re tired is when the real fun started.
that is the start of when the change happens.
something finally clicked within you.
when you think about all the people that hurt you and the shit you put up with.
You feel rage.
i want everyone who made me feel less than,
hurt my feelings,
ghosted my life,
or made me feel unwanted to suffer tremendously.
i know that sounds fucked up,
but i do.
people don’t get to hurt me and think thats okay.
i’ve been hurt and allowing that hurt to define me for too long.
i didn’t deserve nann of that shit i put up with.
i’ve had a habit of pleasing others because of my insecurities.
i’m tired foxhole.
i’m gonna font the foreshadow:
I HAVE networks.
I HAVE connections.
I GET invites.
I ACHIEVED wealth.
I MADE a mess.
I DESTROYED it all and rebuilt it all in my vision.
I RUINED their lunch because I was bored.
I AM power.
i don’t even want a man right now.
i want to tell a new story.
i want to tell the story of someone who overcame the odds.
someone that you all will look up to.
someone who was treated poorly and rose like the phoenix that i admire.
Jamari Fox has become pregnant with a new purpose.
my baby daddy is The Universe.
my angels and my ancestors are the caregivers.
I can’t do this without you tho.
i need an army behind me as i start this new chapter.
lowkey: one thing about cancers is once we are fed up,
we might go into our shells and get super emo.
we are sharpening our claws in the process.