First and Foremost,
before I get into my “font vomit”,
this blog woke me up: Getting Rid Of Old Friends.
Shout out to Sir Yellow Bone for that cup of coffee in his blog.
I have been observing our people in our lifestyle for quite some time,
and even observing relationships in my own life,
and I have to ask time and time again…
Do we truly have genuine friends, or is friendship just a temporary situation?
Are “frenemies” taking over?
I was watching this show, The Real Housewives Of Atlanta,
and I am convinced all these women are some fake ass females.
Well maybe not Kandi but she has her own issues.
They are all not genuine friends as the “show” portays them to be.
They all befriend each other, talk about each other, stop being friends, still talk about each other, be come friends again, and still continue to talk about each other.
It is so mentally draining that I had to stop watching.
But truthfully, art does imitate life so well…
I have met people just like all those women.
I even have a few in my life right now.
They are all like peas in a pod.
Talking about each other
Fucking your friend’s man
Sneaking around with your friend’s men/ex man
Friends of friends being fake as shit
Looked real but turned out to be as phon-e as doll hair
Fighting over stupid shit… ala this:
I have to sometimes ask myself if straight men go through this bullshit?
Or is their shit covered up in a more “masculine” way?
I know no one is immune to fake people in their lives but it seems like they just let you go and keep it moving.
The issue with gay/bi men is that we can be both masculine and feminine.
Sometimes more feminine than needed.
Sometimes rare and well balanced and above the bullshit.
I do not care how much of a thug top or whatever you are.
You can still be a straight up bitch.
Some are external with their feminism while others, live their lives as masculine men but have a feminine catty mindset.
Again, I do not know or do I? I am in a bad mood right now.
It bothers me sometimes because you can’t seem to meet someone who is potentially “my nigga for life”. They always show their ass somewhere in between the 4 month honey moon period.
Is it better to walk alone and keep just a few at a distance?
I am starting to think so.
Another good 1… from Baller Alert———> With Friends Like U….
Even though this is about females, the message is still loud and clear.
Have you heard the saying Keep Your Enemies Close? I think that is the dumbest saying on earth. Keep your enemies as far away as possible. Especially your frenemies. A frenemy is a friend and enemy. This person is disguised as a friend who is really a competitor…Someone who pretends to be your friend, but is really your enemy.
I’m sure we have all experienced this. Sometimes we call these people one-upers. You know the person that always has to have one up on you aka Mrs. Me Too
You – I just purchased the new slingback Louboutins
Them – Oh yeah I had them like two years ago
You – I got tickets to the Maxwell concert
Them – Oh really me too and I’m in the second row
You – I’m buying a new car..I’m looking at the BMW convertible
Them – They go get the convertible Mercedes a week later
Do you have a “friend” that constantly competes with you? If so that is not your friend and you need to leave this toxic friend alone.
Types of Frenemies
1. Word Ain’t Shit
Do you have a friend that always breaks their promise? For example: They promise that you guys are going to the club to party with Jeezy and closer to the time they are suppose to pick you up..you can’t find them. They completely duck you..then you find out they went to the club through a mutual friend.
You could abandon the friend and the friendship, or you could find a way to detach yourself by lowering your expectations for this friendship.
I would abandon the friendship. Who needs friends like this?
2. The Double Crosser
This negative friend betrays you big-time. It could happen when someone does something to hurt you, such as spreading a malicious rumor about you.
This reminds me of the urban blog world right now. They befriend you..and use the smallest thing against you..to try to out you.
The double crosser can also be the cock/puzzy blocker. Has anyone experienced a friend telling their man something faulty about them? For example..I was outside the club and it was really busy. I saw these two cute girls waiting for VIP bands. They came together. This football player had about 30 people with him and he was buying a table. He saw one of the girls and started flirting with her. Someone called his name and he told the girl he was going to be right back. The other girl made her way closer to the guy. I heard her say “you don’t want her she has two kids…I don’t have any kids” And this is suppose to be her friend. WOW
I was thinking to myself..double crossing bitch!
3. The Self-Absorbed
The Self-absorbed frenemy does not care; she listens to you only because she is waiting to speak. It’s all about her. The give-and-take is unequal, and she shares more about her life than you get to share about yours. It’s always about her. She constantly changes the subject when you are trying to share something that is important to you. A real friend will listen regardless even if it doesn’t interest her.
4. The Babbler-Mouth
When you say to your friend “bitch don’t say nothing” and she says cool but immediately tells someone else or even pillow talks with her man. Although there should be an assumption of confidentiality and trust between friends she can’t help herself. This is not a big foul but who wants to have to watch what they say to a friend? If you want to still keep this frenemy just avoid telling her your innermost secrets. I have a few friends that have big mouths but I never say shit that I don’t want to get repeated. If you don’t tell it..you can’t be mad. You just know that your friend talks to damn much.
5. Mrs. Me Too
Competition between friends destroys the friendship. A competition is when someone wins and the other looses. Basically..friends that competes with you is trying boost themselves up to tear you down.
6. The Fault Finder
Nothing you do, say, or wear is good enough for your overly critical friend. They are super judgmental. Your friends are suppose to lift you up..not bring you down. To me..this type of frenemy is the worst of them all.
(some info taken from the toxic friend forum)
Do you have any frenemies?
6 thoughts on “The Messy Gay Niggas Of Reality Show”
This is a HUGE issue. When I find people like this in my life I cut them loose…I don’t need dead weight bringing me down.
I encounter this all the time. Most gay dudes I have attempted to befriend have fallen under this umbrella. I think it stems from a lot of jealousy and low self-esteem. I just cut it off it keep it moving.
I think most of my gay associates (2 out of 3) are “frenemies, and both of them fall under SEVERAL of the categories. I know how they say “dime con quien andas y te dire quien eres”, or “Birds of a feather flock together”, and I thought that was the case at first, but it isn’t. I’m nothing like those fools that are about to get cut out of the movie that is my life.
As far as straight dudes go, they basically do the same thing. I work with 17 of some catty ass dudes who are all straight*, and they do some of the GRIMIEST ish to each other. I think it’s just a people thing. Some just aren’t for you. At least, that’s what I believe.
Thanks for the shout out brotha! Mad love and keep the main thang the man thang playah!
the friend thing works sometimes,most times it don’t….just keep it
movin lik someone said
this is exactly y i keep my circle close!!! great blog post!
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