it seems to be a season of some sort.
is stressed out.
i’m calling it “the hall of mirrors”.
this destination seems to be somewhere on everyone’s mountans.
its like everyone is being faced with their truths right now.
the reflection might be easy to handle for some.
a quick switch up and you good.
the rest are having a hard time at who we are or becoming.
we are seeing things in our lives we never thought we would to see.
my friend left today saw just that…
i have been so caught up in these “work wolf” mirrors,
i haven’t been seeing anything else.
anyone else actually.
when left texted me a picture of him in the hospital this afternoon,
it felt like everything around me shattered.
he told me that he was experiencing bad chest pain these last few weeks.
it got so bad that he collapsed this morning.
it felt like he was having a heart attack.
his girlfriend immediately called 911 and they took him in.
the doctors revealed to him that his heart is getting weaker.
i am now coming in from seeing him in the hospital.
seeing him made me feel so sad.
he looked sad,
although he was playing the “tough wolf” role.
“jamari you actin’ suspect.
i’m going to be okay.
cut that sensitive shit!”
on the way home,
i started to wonder how funny life is.
one minute you are okay.
the next you are the floor gasping for help.
next you know your life changes and a new path is set.
his lifestyle will be now different.
no more eatin’ meat or too much stress.
two things he was comfortable in.
its moments like this that nothing is the same anymore.
silly shit is just that.
well i have a doctor’s visit this saturday.
i’ve been getting up at 530am just to throw up.
my anxiety levels are on 2000.
i have lost a lot of weight.
i also need to get a physical.
i’m low-key terrified of what he is going say,
but it needs to happen.
i need to face this tho.
left demanded that i go.
he has become more aware of health issues now.
i just hope i am prepared of what is reflected back to me.