i believe in thanking people and acknowledging what they have done for me.
if someone does something for you,
either by taking time out their busy schedule or helping you out in a jam,
it is best to send them a little thank you note.
(sidebar: after every job interview,
you should always send a thank you.)
you can either write it yourself or send an email.
since i’m a writer (can i call myself that yet?),
i always try to write a little something to show my appreciation.
this morning,
i sent off an email thanking mr. green for meeting with me.
this is what i wrote…
Continue reading “So You Not Gonna Say “Thank You”?” →

FOXMAIL

Hey Jamari,

I’ve been a fan of your website for a couple years and while I never comment (something I’ll fix in 2014), I have to say thank you to you at the top of the year.

Thank you for being open and honest about your struggles, hopes and dreams at all times. It takes an incredibly honest people to be an open book with complete strangers.

Through your stories as well as the stories of the people who follow your site, I’ve truly realized how complex the LGBT experience is. As a closeted male, I’ve spent 23 years of my life essentially turning an entire side of me “off”. I’m ashamed to say I’ve never been in a relationship, never had a meaningful kiss and I’m not happy because of these issues.

If you asked me a year ago, I planned on living in the closet for an eternity – I didn’t aspire for a relationship for fear of having to admit my truth.  I used to tell myself “You can’t miss what you don’t have”. I focused on my education (applying to Master’s programs at the moment), my family, my friends, ect. to fill the void that an intimate relationship would bring.

If you asked me NOW? I’m over it. I can’t change who I am, and while I’m not gonna make an announcement on my social networks or anything…I’m done lying to myself. It’s easy to lie to yourself, but believing it is another story. How can I trust others if I can’t trust myself with MY truth.

Again, the LGBT experience is so complex – in fear of losing the support of my friends or family, I’ve kept who I am repressed and I’m tired. I’m finally tired. I’m glad that I’m tired.

It won’t be overnight, but I plan on slowly being open and honest about who I am to the people that I love and the people that matter. I’ve watched a lot of my friends find their happiness being WHO THEY ARE and I’m not going to deny myself the same opportunity for an eternity. If my sexuality will make people forget that I’m a great son, brother, cousin, friend, acquaintance, ect…it’ll hurt but I’ll be okay in the long run. My family will probably come AFTER my friends. That’s a test within itself.

I can’t get back the time that I’ve wasted lying to myself but I can look forward to the time that I have to live in my truth.

Thank you and your readers for continually inspiring lurkers like myself who are seeking an outlet of expressing a side of themselves that they repress. Your honesty is going to inspire someone. No lie, this place has been a refuge for me in times where I wanted to cry for not being honest with myself. In 2014, better days will come. Stay blessed!

Signed,
I Just Wanna Be Happy

MY ANSWER…

Continue reading “f0xmail: Thank You For Being You!” →

just got this email from the governmental parental units.
“Dec. 28 marks the end of the emergency unemployment compensation program,
shutting off benefits for 1.3 million Americans immediately —
and millions more over the next year.”
well ya know what?
fuck them very gatdamn much!!!!
i’m tired of them and their bullshit.
they got everyone feeling like they doomed right before the holidays.
i will NOT let this ruin my night.
i’m going to focus on my blessings and not my burdens.
these “fuckshit” moments i need to remember jill (minus the dress part):

my god will make a way.

so before i wrote those two entries,
i replied to ( x my old boss’s email ) from yesterday.
with my gospel radio on itunes on a mellow volume,
i wanted to be in the right frame of mind.
this is what i wrote…

Continue reading “So Now You Check Up On Me (Oh The Response)” →

a familiar name just popped up in my unread mail.
btw – ( x airmail ) is the bomb.com.
okay back to the point.
it familiar name was from my old boss.
it goes…
Continue reading “So Now You Check Up On Me (Oh.)” →

burning bridges is a big no no.
“the feet you step on today maybe the ass you kiss tomorrow.”
one of my favorites.
its one thing to burn a bridge with that idiot wolf with the good dick.
he is an idiot,
but you only keep him around because the sex is satisfying.
well there are plenty of idiot wolves with good dick everywhere so bye.
you may fall in and out of friendships/people in life,
but i always say end it with your hands clean.
all that clappin’ back is not needed.
your reputation is one thing that is hard to ( x clean up once tarnished ).
so you don’t want be the one who always burns bridges around you.
maintaining and keeping networks is the key to being successful in life.
who you know is truly what you know.
a brain and talent can only get you so far,
but a person who believes in you can actually make you a star.
there is definitely levels to this shit.
my old job made me think i burned a bridge with a good friend….
Continue reading “You Burned Bridges and Didn’t Realize You Had To Turn Around” →