^that is me as a baby.
do you see my hair?
i was told that my mother never washed my hair.
she had my hair in plats until i was like 5.
when they finally took the plats out,

i had a bad rash and fungus underneath.
they found it disappointingly funny when i was told the story.

If my mother didn’t have any clue how to raise me,
why didn’t she just kill me?

she could have lived her life freely without the responsibility.
i think i was destined to either be a drug addict or a crazy person.
all the adults in my life didn’t help me in my growth at all…


happy birthday to my grandmother

growing up,
my grandmother was one of the important figures in my life.

when my mother was running wild in the forests of barbados,
it was my grandmother who made the sacrifice to take care of me as a baby.
i stayed at her spot during the week and saw my mother on weekends.
although her methods of parenting were very abusive

Continue reading “happy birthday to my grandmother”

being raised in barbados wasn’t all sunshine and palm trees

my reality is different from some of my family members it seems.
i’m starting to realize that.
even though i love my grandmother,
it is no secret that she was abusive to us.
i think many caribbean people faced a shit ton of abuse.
the last conversation i had with my father made me realize something

Continue reading “being raised in barbados wasn’t all sunshine and palm trees”

my father violated me tonight.

we all weren’t blessed in life to pick our parents.
if so,
i would have picked a father who isn’t a liar and coward.
caribbean fathers have a tendency to be the worst.
my father and i have had a very distant relationship over the years,
even when i was a kid in barbados.
it was all due to the issues between my grandmother and him.
he was only used to buy me school uniforms and haircuts.
i’ll never forget going out with him as a kid and one of his friends saying how “soft” i looked.
deep down inside,
my father knew that i would be gay but didn’t want to admit it at the time.
when we had an honest conversation a few years ago,
i revealed my sexuality to him and he claimed he already knew.
he let me know that i was his son and that he would accept me.
things took a different turn during a phone call we had…

Continue reading “my father violated me tonight.”

drake is giving “thicka than a snicka” down in barbados

as much as i post cut up bawdies,
with banging biceps and crotch adjusting abs,
i can always rock with a wolf with a thick bawdy.
i believe we in the foxhole love our fantasies,
but we love our realities as of well.

Most males ain’t built Ford tough

drake is cute to me.
i don’t care what anyone says,
but that beard really helped enhanced his looks.
he is currently at my home island of bim (barbados) where he had a beach day…
Continue reading “drake is giving “thicka than a snicka” down in barbados”

my grandmother’s house is not a home (anymore)

so i’m gonna be very transparent with the foxhole.
i’ve been very open on my latest podcasts,
but i never wrote too much about my growing up.
it’s time to let you deeper inside me.
cum on…

Continue reading “my grandmother’s house is not a home (anymore)”