so i’m gonna be very transparent with the foxhole.
i’ve been very open on my latest podcasts,
but i never wrote too much about my growing up.
it’s time to let you deeper inside me.
so i spoke to my uncle yesterday because i was feeling really depressed.
out of my grandmother’s 4 kids,
he was “the explorer” by leaving home early and finding his way.
i mean barbados.
he is the last surviving child out of all his siblings.
we were always close.
he trusted me out of everyone to tell me about his random kids that popped up.
he was “the explorer“,
but also the “raging womanizer” as well.
while we were talking,
he was telling me how he isn’t talking to my aunt’s kids at the moment.
those are my cousins that i grew up with.
his mother’s will doesn’t sit right with him.
he thinks it was changed while my grandmother wasn’t in her right mind.
before she died,
she made her deep decent into having alzheimer’s disease.
i was lucky that she remembered me when she FT two weeks before she passed.
so two of cousins were in the will for her home,
the one i grew up in.
cousin hybrid being one of them.
i only got the apartment on the side of the house.
i remember her telling me that the apartment would be mine before she died.
she said the money earned from the apartment would be sent to me every month.
it would have been good to get a little extra income.
well nothing has been sent to me.
every time i ask about what’s happening,
i get some excuse.
as of right now tho:
My grandmother’s house is abandoned
my grandmother built that house from the ground up.
she told me she slaved at jobs to buy the land to build her home.
it was the best looking house on that street.
all the neighbors tried to copy her in some way.
i’m really upset that my cousins allowed it to go to ruin.
i had to say to myself yesterday:
I bet they wouldn’t let their parent’s home go to ruin
that hurt my heart to hear that yesterday,
adding to even more depression.
from what my uncle said,
it seems it was all about getting the money.
i was told one of my cousin’s allowed his fiance’s family to take all my grandmother’s belongings.
everything was a mess after my grandmother died.
there was a lot of other shit he told me that really made me look at my family sideways.
Why is it when someone dies,
the true nature of family members come out?
my grandmother’s house should have been an airbnb at least.
if she would have left it to me,
no way would i have allowed it to get that bad.
i wouldn’t have had to work because my income would come from there.
i’m not on the will and they’ve said fuck it.
this is a before picture of where i grew up in barbados while my grandmother was alive:
it’s sad it died when my grandmother did.