So This “DL” Thing…..

U walk past a group of hood dudes. A couple are staring at you under their fitteds. Blank stares. Does that mean they are gay?

I see that baller I want so badly. I listen to the gossip amongst my news flash Foxes. Rumors swirling. But does that mean he is gay?

That guy who I think checked me out at the grocery store. I caught him staring and then he looked off. Playing duck – duck – DL. Does that mean he wanted me?

Is this whole “yeah he is definitely gay” thing just something to keep us from jumping off a roof because there really isn’t that much gay people at all?

The only people I see goin on and on that someone is gay is women and gay people. Many times the woman is going on “feminine” traits and the gay dude is going on “fantasy”.

Or am I wrong?

That is something I think about, while sipping this wine tonight. I always hear gay people talking about they went down some block and such and such dude(s) stopped and was looking as he walked by. Was this just a figment of his imagination? Or was he really commanding the attention of DL dudes?

If there is so much gay dudes walking around this world today, then why are half of us single and lonely? Let’s do the Math. Let’s say that 35% of out gay people are roaming the United States today. Half of them are black so we will say 15%. Then, the rest is made up of DL and Bi dudes – then that is not a lot for us to work with. Or a really gigantic guessing game that isn’t really much fun.

I always look at dudes as I am doing my daily travels and wonder how much of these dudes checked me out and I did not notice. Or, how much of these dudes I wanted to check me out but they are straight. Because, not for nothing, many on the low dudes are not obvious with their hints and clues. Many dudes that are on the low are pretty much scared you will bust their spot. So chances of them hollering are a risk on their part.

Unless you are a queen who everyone knows gets down, then life for the rest of us is pretty much a challenge. The chat sites only offer so much and it seems like the same ol thing trying to get at you. You think you met someone that may be worth it but it was a false alarm rung way to many times.

So what are we to do? Are we doomed? Or do we just wait around, hoping and praying we catch a sign.

Let a fellow Fox know how you feel?

Brought To U By The FoxBerry

Author: jamari fox

the fox invited to the blogging table.

9 thoughts on “So This “DL” Thing…..

  1. Wow this sounds like my life. hell you might have summed up all the masculine dudes out there with this one right here. every word spoke to me. all i see online from women are GIRL HE GAY LOOK AT HIM, OH I HEARD HE WAS GAY AND FUCKIN WIT THIS DUDE ON THE LOW, OH GIRL HE AINT FOOLIN NOBODY WE BEEN KNEW HE GAY. and its like when i step out my door where are all these gay dudes the girls online be talkin bout? i mean i see the queens at school twistin and turnin so of course they gay but its so difficult for me to see what people online see. i’ll pass a dude at school and see him lookin at me, i be wantin to creep over and say something but i be thinkin nawh its too many people around and i don’t want my cover blown just incase he turn out to be straight.

    sometimes i just feel so depressed because its like damn man i’m so good lookin, why am i alone? i feel like i’ve passed through so many dudes like me just based upon fear to interact with them. i’m friends with a dude now, and its like i like him alot, i’m actually in love with him and its like he is single. he’s been single for a couple of years. he compliments me on my gear and shit and smiles me down. like we’ll look at each other and smile. whenever we do that my heart melts a little. i know it sounds mushy but thats how it sincerely is. sometimes i wonder does he feel the same way i feel when we look at each other and smile? we’ve been friends for years and i don’t know what to do. i don’t wanna ruin a friendship because i wanna be something more but at the same time i just gotta know.

    1. HEY…..BUT YOU WILL REGRET IT MORE IF YOU NEVER SAY WHATS BEING FELT IN YOUR HEART NOW….YOU NEVER KNOW….HE COULD BE WAITING ON YOU AND FEELING THE SAME WAY THAT YOU DO….BUT COMMUNICATION IS KEY.

  2. Dovie let me ask you a question, is that what you do? honestly, have you ever told your friend , i mean your boy that you’ve been cool wit for years that your in love wit him. i mean how do you even begin to conversate about that. its so difficult. its easy to tell me to do it online but in real life shitz difficult as fuck.

    you don’t wanna forever loose a friend or have things be akward as fuck but at the same time you just gotta tell him how you feel. so what is a dude to do? man life on the DL is stressful and hard as fuck.

    i mean this dude is gonna look at me differently for the rest of my life if i tell him. either in a good way or a negative way. the last thing i want is for him to be like yo man your cool and your my friend but i’m not gay. my heart would be so crushed.

    plus i would be embarrassed

    and afraid he would tell people i’m gay

    i have too much on the line. and its like killing me on the inside.

    1. You know what?

      I am half/half with Dovie and I will tell you why.

      As much as we want to go tell someone we “suspect” is gay or bi we have feelings for them – we are still MEN. It isn’t like a girl with a crush on a guy. This is a MAN with another crush on a MAN.

      If you aren’t walking around here, looking like a ballerina, then it maybe easy to just go and tell another MAN you like him on some ol “well you should already know I’m gay” type attitude. If you fit in “I think he maybe something but I’m not sure” personality, it is going to be a challenge for other men who get down to figure you out.

      When we are dealing with men who are straight but we “suspect” he gets down – it isn’t that easy. I would never tell you to go and tell this man you like him UNLESS you are absolutely sure that he is something.

      Pros with asking straight up; no chaser

      He says he was feeling you too and things go smoothly. The guessing game is out the way and you now have a man that you have wanted for so long.

      Now the Cons

      Let’s say he isn’t remotely gay. He actually doesn’t like the lifestyle but tolerates it because you are his friend. He suddenly starts acting funny towards you and then everything you do to try to convince him otherwise (meaning, u didn’t mean to offend him and u want to still be friends), will look like you are desperate or thristy. He may tell people about you and blow your spot. He may get violent.

      Those are things you have to think about. Yes, life is a risk. I am all for jumnping head first and asking questions later. But, when we are dealing with another human who can change his emotions up or put a wall up being uncomfortable – then that is when you have to fall back a little.

      If you are 100% sure he gets down – ask. I have in the past (Ill blog about that later)…

      God speed my Fox!

  3. if he’s truly your friend, why would he go blast your shit? He can say hes not interested…im sure both of you are grown….and YES! I DO DO THIS! WHEN I AM FEELING SOMETHING…I SAY IT….i dont believe in the DL lifestyle so at the end of the day….YOURE THE ONE CRINGING INSIDE FOR A MAN THAT YOU REALLY DESIRE PHYSICALLY AND EMOTIONALLY….AND YOU ARE THE ONE STANDING THERE LETTING IT GO ON AND EVENTUALLY…YOUR TOP IS GONNA BLOW AND YOU WONT BE ABLE TO CONTROL HOW IT COMES OUT..SO YOU HAD BETTER START THINKING….TRUE IT MAY NOT BE EASY AS PIE…BUT IT SURE BEATS REGRETTING IT YOUR WHOLE LIFE IF YOU WERE TO SEE HIM IN THE FUTURE WITH ANOTHER GUY AND HIM TO CONFESS TO YOU HIS HOMOSEXUALITY AND LOVE FOR ANOTHER MAN…..YOU’RE GONNA BEAT YOURSELF UP FOR NOT JUST BEING STRAIGHT FORWARD….

    AND P.S. YOURE ALSO THE ONE THAT DOESN’T REALIZE..YOU’VE ONLY GOT ONE LIFE…AND MAYBE ONLY ONE CHANCE TO GET THIS SHIT RIGHT BEFORE IT FADES AWAY IN SILENCE AND YOU ARE PLAGUED WITH THE THOUGHTS OF WHAT COULD HAVE BEEN……

    THAT IS ALL!

  4. Whenever people i know talk about home some hot piece of trade was checking them out in some public place i typically don’t take them seriously. A lot of it is in their heads. I know there are plenty of gay men out there, just look at the white gays! They exist in large numbers. So there are for sure a lot of black gay men out there. But i think the white gays exist in a different reality than that those of the non-gay variety.

    1. I agree. I want to hear “that hot piece of trade checked me out and got my number”…..

      ….. Then we can talk about everything is. Who is to say he wasn’t checking out ya clothes, shoes, something about u that makes people take notice….

  5. Yah we should talk about that. How black gays out number the white gays but the black gays are all closet cases. like myself sadly

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