please hide all vapes and weed from brittney griner once she gets back in town. (thanks)

i know she is never gonna touch weed,
a vape pen,
or listen to any songs about drug use again.
she might say fuck all this and become a jehovah’s witness.
i would too.
can you imagine being in a war-torn country,
eating an assortment of flavorless slop,
while building a train track that probably goes to nowhere?

nightmare fuel.
i’ve been thinking about brittney griner lately but i got news today that…

She is on the way home!

kudos biden!
trying to get that reelect,
huh?
i thought she would be forgotten like every other trending news story.
i’m sure she has learned her lesson through this awful situation tho.
i can collectively font that the smart american travelers have.

Other countries don’t gaf what Americans do over here.
Follow their rules or die eating flavorless slop for a decade.

your choice.
put it in your reminders app.

a baller wolf who plays for the cowboys,
micah parsons,
decided to choose violence over brittney’s release.
in an alleged deleted tweet:

to which he responded:

hmm.
the good news is after he randomly becomes a free agent next year,
he can always get a new career at fox news!
they are always looking for new talent.

2 thoughts on “please hide all vapes and weed from brittney griner once she gets back in town. (thanks)

  1. Wow. I was worried she wouldn’t survive the 9 years.

    I want to travel, but I’m either at risk for being Black or being gay. I feel like I need to be a celebrity so if something happens somebody will care, because….

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