i wrote an entry the other day that had some folks have a hissy fit.
don’t i always?
it was the one about ( x gay web series being porn with a plot ).
where was the lie?
i gave my honest opinion,and it had a lot of agreement.
i saw/was told it had those who act in those productions in their feelings.
i couldn’t care less
i was titled “infamous” by another blogger who wrote about the incident.
that word tho…
it gave me life,
but i realized that has been who i’ve always been…
throughout my life,
the moment i opened my mouth/used my fingers to express my thoughts,
i noticed it would always create forest fires.
from my thoughts of pop culture,
shit happening in the news,
or my perception of another individual(s),
someone was always in their feelings about it.
it’s not because i was spiteful,
but more so that i could see:
1) the truth
2) no apologies about expressing it
it’s like they tell you growing up to be honest,
but then get upset when you’re not kissing anything less than their tails.
even when i asked my parents about issues i saw in religion,
they’d punish me for trying to find out the truth.
in this quest of finding myself,
Jamari Fox is the anti-hero
all this time that i was striving to be looked at as “good”,
because you “shouldn’t” be looked at as “bad”,
my opinionated ass could never be.
the anti hero is absolutely perfect for me.
i’m complicated and UN-apologetically imperfect,
but my underlying actions are still heroic.
there is no pressure because i can say and do what i want,
but not be pressured to “fit on a side”.
We don’t fit in,
but make our presence known to both sides
…and that’s okay.
it’s more fun and interesting to live that way.
“fitting in” is boring and look at what it’s created on social media.
even with most of these celebrities out here.
clones of each other whose candles burn out twice as fast.
while they are trying to be “the good guy” to society,
they don’t realize they are actually playing the villains perfectly.
if you notice they aren’t always the nicest once i write about them.
i realize that the foxhole is for all the anti-heroes out there.
i see and feel you.
most of us are social outcasts.
the way we live is unconventional than the rest.
we go on our own self interests,
recognizes things for what they are,
and adjusts our characters to the vibes accordingly.
we also this insane ability to keep folks pressed.
(my personal favorite)
sometimes just by walking into a room.
however you handle your “anti-hero” life,
always be the best that you can be.
embrace all the shit that makes you weird,
and make it work for YOU.
you live always your truth that way.
*anti-hero (n): “An anti-hero is a flawed hero, and therefore, much more interesting then the more traditional heroes. They can be working on the side of good, but with a tragic flaw, or a horrible past, or for reasons that are selfish and not entirely “pure”. They can also be working for the side of evil, but with hidden noble intentions, or other underlying complexities.”
– urban dictionary.