I Have A Crush and All I Get Is This Lousy T-Shirt

tumblr_mj14zqXPs01s7o51oo1_500shaking a crush is hard.
no pun intended.
i am going through it,
let me tell ya.
we try to stand tall,
kick our heels together,
and say a couple times in our heads:

i will not look at him!
i will not look at him!
i will not look at him!

…all while crossing our fingers hoping for the best.
we imagine he is ugly or try to point out flaws he has.
nada.
it just takes him to come in the room,
smile at you,
look in your eyes longer than usual,
and you’re back to where you started.

tumblr_nj9mctPmQY1ql5yr7o1_500its tough and definitely a process.
it has to be done tho.
while i was on the way to work,
something popped into my mind about crushes…

A CRUSH (N): A FANTASY.
A FIGMENT OF YOUR IMAGINATION.
SOMETHING YOU CREATED WHILE IN LUST

tumblr_m9uf7iLe8P1rrqpumo1_r1_500see a crush is nothing more than a mental creation.
a comfortable safe place while in lust mode.
on the outside he is fine,
so we think he will be once we get him.
sometimes it does happen and he is “got”.
other times,
he just ends up as mental scraps.
what we don’t realize is he could be:

a horrible person
terrible in bed
a doofus of epic proportions

all of my crushes were not good people.

the fine investment banker:
cheating on his wife with interns
  hates his kids

the gorgeous mama’s boy from my last job:
a gorgeous mama’s boy who is spoiled and coddled.
insecure
lazy
needs his mama’s tit

the eye candy tall random who walked in the house party:
…ended up being my home-vixen’s baby daddy.
supreme liar
crazy
passive aggressive
the worst thing to ever cum into her life.

my other home vixen’s sex god muscular co worker:
muscle turned to fat
simp
ultimate cornball

the baller wolf with the face and body sculpted from god:
bi polar
confused rasta
trying to relive his glory days
bounced from team to team due to his unstable behavior

all equals:

giphy…so whats wrong with this one at my job?
let see:

flexin’ with liar liar
cheating on his “girl”
clingy
passive as hell
(allegedly) his pipe didn’t get hard with her

…and this is all from liar liar and her big mouth.
she is confused about him and telling everyone.
i know its probably more sexual on my end than anything else.
he just seems to go out his way to talk to me,
touch me,
and get my attention when i’m not even paying attention.
he might be d/l and trying to keep up an appearance.
its all very strange.
no one is perfect tho.
i know i’m not.
it just sucks that i’m here again.
even though you and i know all of this about crushes…

Why do we continue to do it?

it puzzles me.
why do we just cut it off before the emotions get us?
why don’t we just see that maybe,
just maybe,
he is not what he appears to be?
well if i had the answer to that,
there would be no entry today.

Author: jamari fox

the fox invited to the blogging table.

17 thoughts on “I Have A Crush and All I Get Is This Lousy T-Shirt

  1. Meh, you’ll just find someone else eventually to fall over.

    I guess I’m different, but when I crush, I understand it’s just that: a crush. I’m not seeing how I can build future with this person (even if it’s merely a quickie.), so I avoid disappointment when things don’t meet my expectations.

    I think you just want to feel loved and you’re throwing your stock into anything to achieve that feeling.

  2. Yeah it’s really hard Crushing a crush. It takes me a really long time because the way I figured. When I first see my crush I fall for them instantly but getting over them isn’t so instant. You just have to find ways to focus that energy on something else and to avoid him as much as you can. Good luck!

    1. ^i try.
      trust me i do.
      i tried to ignore him in the hallway but he caught me up.
      lol
      I don’t want to be a bitch because of my feelings.
      i have to let him go and move on emotionally.
      I need to get someone in my radar that is interested in me.

    2. See, I don’t have that problem! I get bored with a person quickly, and it’s on to the next one that piques my interest. I have never been the relationship type because I like my space, so I don’t find myself missing that special someone when they’re gone. When you’re there I give you me…once we’re done I will still be there for you, but don’t expect me to be all lovey-dovey. LOL

  3. If the man is playing games, leave him alone. As a matter of fact, he may not even be playing games and might be truly straight. It is easy to read into small shit man. Every dude I’ve been interested in for the past couple of years has done something to make me believe that he does get down or I know for a fact. I don’t hope a dude gets down just because he is attractive. Nah. I need something to go on before I get my emotions involved. The worst thing a man in the life can do is have a crush on a man who is straight. That hurts.

    Liar is putting dude on blast already? How did you hear this info? Is her tongue that loose? Damn.

      1. Also…
        I don’t want to look like I fell for him because he was attractive or straight.
        I know a ton of attractive straight guys.
        there is always “one” who is different.
        we all have feelings within us.
        we all come with something that helps us connect to another who maybe like us.
        The way someone looks at you.
        talks to you.
        Touches you.
        yes it maybe little things,
        but in this life,
        it isn’t always “big” things.
        sometimes those little things lead to big things once someone is comfortable.
        sometimes people are uncomfortable or inexperienced.
        to wolves,
        it is easier to find a fox.
        for a fox,
        many of us,
        it is the small things because unless we are crazy feminine and out there,
        people have to feel us out.
        sure I could be a fuckin idiot,
        but I know what I felt.

        am I wrong?

  4. Jamari…leave him alone. Something sounds off about him. Ya’ll end up messing around, I have a feeling you will be regretting that shyt seriously!

  5. You shouldn’t feel wrong about how you are feeling. Those are your feelings deprived from the experiences you went through. It just sucks that you and many of us end up crushing on losers.

    1. ^ see we aren’t females.

      Sometimes it isn’t going to be some obvious signs.
      we may have to go on little things until they reveal a big thing.
      sometimes they don’t.
      we know how we feel.
      we know what a vibe is when we meet someone who we feel gets down.
      they are also doing the same thing to us.

      the issue is I get too excited.
      I need to pace myself and just keep them on the back burner until they show a big sign.

  6. Damn Jamari, you were crushing hard Huh?

    I’m usually over my crush as soon as the next big booty passes by lol. I have the attention spat of a fly lol.

  7. Don’t judge me, but it took me almost a year to get over my crush. And believe it or not what made me stop was when he posted a pic of this alcohol he was holding. When I saw his pic, he had long nails and that’s one of my biggest turn off. And he just gotten lazy with his looks and his clothes are hanging. That what made me say goodbye. Is that conceited of me?

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