I Am Crazy

at first glance,
you would think that would be an intro into a “meat” entry.
well this time,
it’s a little different.
that is rwenshaun miller and he suffer(ed) from bipolar disorder.
he was a pre baller wolf at his college and no one knew he was suffering.
i learned that because one of my home vixens sent me his interview with “the breakfast club”.
he was joined by his friend and colleague,
dr jasper.
mental illness is usually swept under the rug in the black (and gay) community,
but it is very real.
i wanted to share this video with the foxhole today…

…because i learned so much.
i was diagnosed with clinical depression when i was younger.
the medication they put me on made me feel like a legit zombie.
i think it was called “paxil”.
well once it ran out,
after my parents health insurance ended due to their deaths,
i didn’t have the means to refill it so i left it alone.
after that,
i did years of research in trying to calm my depression,
but it was/is a constant battle.

i sent it to mi shortly after i watched it.
she has been doing pretty good since her stint at the psych ward.
from what she tells me,
she takes her meds everyday and continues to go to her counseling.
i can sense a change in her tho.
she told me she watched the video and it helped her to understand.
the fact she would drink and smoke everyday was a tell tale sign too.
it was a form of self medicating.
the medication she takes makes her either nauseous or have diarrhea.
either way,
i’m glad she has got this under control.
the shelter she is in has changed her outlook on life too.

i want the foxhole to know it’s okay to be not okay.
we have to stop trying to be “happy” when we aren’t.
do not let whatever you are struggling with pull you under.
thank you to “the breakfast club” for booking these guests for your segment!
there needs to be more talk about mental illness on various platforms!

lowkey: i am so glad i have this website.
it is one of the things that has kept me sane over the years.
thank you to all those who participate.

visit: rwenshaun.com

Author: jamari fox

the fox invited to the blogging table.

4 thoughts on “I Am Crazy

  1. I totally agree JajR, I love when the foxhole shares experiences they’ve gone through. It makes us all seem so much more connected to each other.

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