foxmail: i’ve been accused of sexual harassment! help!

FOX MAIL

Dear , Jamari Fox

my name is ________ I’m currently a manager & an employee at Walgreens in New Orleans la , I’ve been working for this company for about 9 months I’m writing you to gain exposures about the recent discriminatory event that’s has taken place as of July 2 ,I’ve been on suspension for about 8 days and counting for a situation that any male or female would call a act of goodness now as a openly gay male I know the odds would always be against me because the world can’t handle my kind ,or words or my big personality furthermore let me give you details as to why the girls can’t handle the gays so on June 30, 2018 I was at work just finishing a morning truck routine me and a 3 other male co workers now granted the three males are all heterosexual males and the one female is one of our ASMT in training someone who looked too me for answers whenever she felt lost or displaced with the co-workers she rubbed the wrong way 🙄 any-who so in the midst of me and my other co workers doing our daily duties I was approached by her and one of my older co -workers now granted this is a older Heterosexual male who low key crushes on her daily ,I pay no mind too it because it’s none of my business neither am I interested in their mesh Furthermore as we was having a conversations I noticed that her shirt was slightly open , slightly open for example when a woman wears a small when they suppose to wear a medium because of her bust so me being the Courteous openly gay male I’m I proceeded to inform her that her shirt was opened and she didn’t want any men starring down her shirt like the older gentleman who was standing next too her and in the spur of the moment I pinched the middle region of her shirt me not thinking anything of disorderly conduct because what’s so disorderly about touching ones shirt there’s nothing in the code of conduct that states such thing and we know nothing sexual isn’t in act because I don’t like women and I’m not that dumb too put my self in a situation like that I honestly took the liberty too help a sister out because us gays are classified as another girl yet I’m a male no doubt and proud of it so after me informing her who shall not be named about her T-Shirt no way shape of form I was under the impression she felt violated or upset we joked and talked and I went home afterwards but there’s a old saying be careful with those who smile and laugh in your face a wolf can easily come dressed as the sheep ok!! So after along days work I was off and I returned that Monday to return to complete bullshit so as I entered the managers office my hiring manager goes on record to inform me that there’s a situation and to have a seat I’m thinking it’s no biggie because at my store location everything but peace occurs so as I sat there with a questionable look he stated he have to call My district Human Resources Manager 👀now I know who he is by name I’ve met this gentleman once so the conversation starts off by his favorite weak un threatening tag line I hope you tell the truth and I use too be a private detective bullshit as if that has anything to do to what bullshit just was served so he asked me about the event that had occurred on June 30 when he spoke of June 30 I knew this decepticon aka transformer had went and made false allegations which is very upsetting and sad so Uncle Tom goes on record to ask me what happened but in his head he put as if I had sexually assaulted this female co-worker so you know I had too put him in his place as a victim of abuse both sexual and physical I’ve never been the type too try to harm anyone neither invade in their space granted me and this co-worker didn’t see eye too eye at first but somehow we grew a friendly relationship we have had plenty talks about building the company and keeping the people together and she even went on record to try and prove how loyal and honest she was what a lie that is 😔😡 Ms Thang should’ve kept that too herself anyways I told uncle tom that I refuse to sit on the phone and be accused of sexual harassment he than goes on record to say let’s take the sexual part out of it and I stated let’s because I’m a openly gay male I don’t like women there’s no reason for me too touch her or do anything that’s she is trying too cry wolf about he than said my sexual preference has nothing too do with this and I felt as if does because what gay male would touch a female inappropriately so he goes on record stating I broke code of conduct because I touched her without permission I said well technically I touched her shirt not her Breast,Bra or anything else touching is classified as skin to skin and sexual is classified as hand to any private area so in my head I kept wondering what was I being accused ? So it got me wondering discrimination doesn’t have to be someone saying to me I’m gay , or all the nasty thing the humane race can say discrimination can be defaming one character simply because a boy like me takes no shit and I speak up whenever I need too now I’ve been blessed with a big personality that most people can’t handle but my rapport with my co-workers says in doing something right because they respect me and trust me and maybe she is bothered by that so here I’m with my job on the line and I wanna make this aware to the public so this wouldn’t ever happen to anybody like me or just an innocent person trying to do something out of an act of good!!

MY ANSWER…

well this is an interesting foxmail.
i wanted to dive right in.
i’m absolutely gratefulthat you shared this with me.

  • so i remember one day at my old job,
    my back was hurting and i asked my co worker to rub my shoulders.
    like,
    i was having horrible upper back pain and needed relief.
    me and her was cool,
    but once my managers found out she did that,
    they flipped their entire wigs.
    at first,
    i was like “yo relax wtf???”,
    but it became clear after i thought about it.
    what if i decided to sue?
    what about her?
    she could have switched up her story and made me look crazy.

reader…
i don’t care if her buttons were about to spontaneously combust,
you TELL her what the situation is.
in corporate,
we have to fight dirty in emails.
in a retail setting,
you don’t have that option so everything must be verbal.
you know you’re a good person.
they don’t.
they don’t care if you’re openly gay or don’t like pussy.
you’re at work to make them money for that walgreens.
anything outside doesn’t mean anything to them.
we are all irreplaceable at work.
these two things stood out to me about her:

“someone who looked too me for answers whenever she felt lost or displaced with the co-workers she rubbed the wrong way…”

“granted me and this co-worker didn’t see eye too eye at first but somehow we grew a friendly relationship we have had plenty talks about building the company and keeping the people together and she even went on record to try and prove how loyal and honest she was what a lie..”

she wasn’t your friend.
she was your work associate.
you fonted that you are a manager,
so that makes her an employee on your shift.
you should have pulled her to the side about her shirt.

this is a teachable moment for you and the rest of us tho.
i don’t know if you have a court case because of this,
but  go ahead and look into it.
if you get fired,
it might be a wrongful termination suit,
but i’m not a lawyer so i can’t give the correct information there.
you did learn a lesson in how fake folks can be at work.
not even just in a work setting either.

school
family
social media

folks are fake in these forests and will try to destroy you.
sometimes,
it will be your own skinfolk behind that witch hunt too.
you always have to be three steps ahead of potential forest fires.
i hope this is all works out and you’re back to work soon.
my advice is to stay away from shorty and she’ll hang herself.
it all comes out in the wash eventually.
always remember:

keep me updated!

love,
jf

Author: jamari fox

the fox invited to the blogging table.

12 thoughts on “foxmail: i’ve been accused of sexual harassment! help!

  1. spot on J. I might also suggest having another woman be the one to point out her wardrobe malfunction. some women would’ve claimed he was staring at her body making her feel uncomfortable

  2. Straight Women have accused gay men of sexual assault for years and lie about it. Next they are going to accuse gay men of raping women. they especially do at gay clubs these same straight women who wants gay men to have sex with them and sexual harass gay men. That why I don’t hang with faghags. You can think the homophobic straight feminist women

  3. Walgreen will do an investigation and it may come with some repercussion like a write up if anything tho. I bet she’ll be branded as the trouble maker and I can think of ppl at my former job who got accused of such accusation and they still work there. Even there been times when the accuser had to work with the person in question but distant. Sometime I actually think about stuff that happen by accident like if your coworker accidentally waves their hand, and just so happen touch your butt or your jock when they meant to reach for something else? I’ve touched a female breast before but apologized. and apology was accepted.

  4. Man that’s why I dnt, and wouldn’t even THINK to point out SHIT! Ole girl gotta mirror at home, she knew how the shirt looked and probably wants it to look that way, so I’d of let her be…let me tell you; if it’s not 1. A defenseless child or 2. MY MOMMA getting assaulted in the streets, I 👏🏾 MIND 👏🏾MY 👏🏾 MUTHAFUCKIN 👏🏾 BUSINESS!!!!! You won’t catch me Stepping in for shit!

  5. In the workplace, you are better of leaving people be. You would have been better off if one of her breast fell out. I would not even give a woman a compliment about her hair in the workplace if no one else is around to witness it because you never know these days. I hope this ends well for you, especially since you meant no harm.

  6. If she knew her manager had no sexual interest in her because he is indeed gay, this can only mean she’s doing this because she felt embarrassed by his observation of her opened shirt. (Not the actual physical contact)

    And if the older heterosexual gentleman was standing there I’m sure he felt offended that the manager would assume he’d be staring at her opened shirt (which I’m sure he was anyway).

    So as Jamari correctly said, this has to be a learning experience. Don’t get chummy with co workers. Especially your subordinates. Being gay was probably secondary in her decision to ruin his professional reputation. Not to mention she was probably coerced to report him by the older straight man who wants to smash. So messy..

  7. There is no such thing as friends or allies at work. Especially when people of color are involved unfortunately. We’re all too busy trying to secure our paycheck from the man so we’ll quickly throw each other under the bus.

    They all likely resented you because you are their manager anyway, especially if you’re openly gay too.

    Honestly, HR and your manager are just doing their jobs as fucked up as it is. If that woman goes and gets a lawyer their jobs will be on the line if they didn’t investigate properly no matter what your sexual orientation is.

    My mom always told me growing up to mind my business and do my job. She never even kept pics of her family at her desks or talked about her personal life at work at all.

  8. I agree with Jay, no friends in the workplace.

    Also, I did read about you having a big personality so I am assuming that you’re an extroverted person who can sometimes be touchy-feely? As in you’re a tactile person.

    I am usually less likely to be in this position because I don’t feel comfortable touching people or their things without their permission. I also don’t generally like giving hugs to people, especially women who I’m not very familiar with. I’m 6’4 so when you’re as tall as me you already live with the impression that people are intimidated by you. Being a black male doubles that.

    Even if you are gay or viewed as a “female” in others eyes you always have to remember that you are still a man. Being gay won’t always protect you from things such as sexual harassment accusations from women.

    I know some gays who actually feel comfortable touching women’s asses/breast because they think they’d get a pass just for being gay. I remember when Andy Cohen asked Nicki Minaj if he could touch her booty on her WWHL interview and she declined. You are still a dude and possess greater physical strength than these women.

    Use this as a learning lesson.

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