f0xmail: This Is One Of Your Favorite Readers Right Now.

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Jamari,

I just saw your most recent post and had to share what I’ve been up to lately. Sooo much has transpired that I’d be blogging for years, but I’ll skip to the good nuggets.

Through some random chain of events, I ended up in a committed situation and I realized I wasn’t ready. I guess I wasn’t as into him as I should’ve been either,but I just wasn’t ready to put the time and effort in. I have so much on my plate as far as successfully changing career fields and finding a better living situation and just taking my life to the next level altogether. I felt overwhelmed and trapped almost immediately. Luckily, I think dude fell in love with his perception of me rather than who I actually was.

I found myself in this vicious cycle where I’d be into dudes who weren’t even half as interested in me and I found myself being their entertainment. I realize now it was because I wasn’t living up to my potential and getting my own plans in motion. I was too accessible. Too eager.

I’m currently back in school with plans of entering an accelerated program that can have me in my new career field in a little over a year and I refuse to let a single dude distract me from accomplishing this. I am not concerned about meeting anyone until after I move into my spacious loft overlooking my city with a job I love around the block.

I feel a great sense of renewal not always yearning for someone to complete me or somehow make my life a million times better. I can say that in all honesty, rather than as a defense mechanism to hide some deep sense of loneliness.

Today, I decided to hit the grocery store after work and I happen to see an two extremely good looking dudes I went to college with that became a couple recently. Both tall, brown skinned, with nice smiles. I glanced at them for a minute and I felt…nothing. No tinge of envy, no questions “Why isn’t that me?”, and no sense of inadequacy. I’ve evolved from that. I know my main focus is myself at the moment and If I choose to have what they have in the future, I can do that if it’s for me.

MY ANSWER…

1502 - autoplay_gif crying gif glasses nxt percy_watson wwesee that’s that shit right there.
that is what i like to read.
its inspiring.
this is what the foxhole lifestyle is all about.
i really happy because ive spoken with this reader on many occasions.
we shared our journeys,
what has been bothering us,
and various things about this lifestyle.
sharing personal things and trying to give the best advice i could.
the growth and maturity has been amazing.
this was profound:

I found myself in this vicious cycle where I’d be into dudes who weren’t even half as interested in me and I found myself being their entertainment. I realize now it was because I wasn’t living up to my potential and getting my own plans in motion. I was too accessible. Too eager.

so many can relate tho.
thank you for sharing your new attitude with me.
allowing me to share it with everyone.
all i gotta know is:

When are you gonna invite me
over to your new expensive crib for pot roast?

Author: jamari fox

the fox invited to the blogging table.

5 thoughts on “f0xmail: This Is One Of Your Favorite Readers Right Now.

  1. This was inspiring.. My friends tend to criticize me on why Im not settling down or talking to anyone(they always call me to vent about their relationship”. Also I seem to meet “lets fuck now and talk later dudes” or the real” clingy dude” so that was also exhausting and I took a step back for a while. So I decided let me get myself situated first as well. career wise, living wise, self wise. A relationship is another full time job. When is the right time to commit?

  2. I was so now thinking about this J, i am currently tearing down that old mindset of needing some dude to complete me crap, i want to be at the point stated above appreciating me and the great things that will happen to me. I think this post came at a great time to reassure me that i am doing the right thing. Thanks *game face on*

  3. i’m actually in the same place that he is…I’m now celibate have been for some time now, while i focus on my career, and with the demands of this graduate program i’m about to enter in January after i undergraduate college in December i wont have time anyway…i think at the end of the day we all just want love, and someone who values our essence, our flaws, our personality…just who we are…good sex is just icing on the cake…i pray we all find what we rightfully deserve…PEACE of mind and SUCCESS…God bless him and good luck everyone with finding that ‘brotha’ you’re searching for

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