f0xmail: DL, Married, 5 Cubs, and Wants My Foxhole BAD!



Hey jamari!

I’ve been to your site for about a month now and you’re like a daily breath of fresh air. Most blogs tend to follow the typical trends but yours is completely different. I’m in a bit of a situation and I feel like I could really use your advice.
I recently met this guy through a mutual friend on Facebook. He was tall, handsome with dreads down his back and I personally though even if he was gay or bi that I wouldn’t be his type. I also saw that he was with a really beautiful girl in his profile picture so I didn’t pay him any mind, until he sent me a message. We began talking and I feel like we hit it off, until the topic of his woman came up. He told me that he was dl with a WIFE AND 5 KIDS at home… That halted things pretty quickly for us yet he continuously pursues me. He said he’s a top, so I feel like what would I have to offer him that his wife couldn’t? He even went so far as to send me nudes (which were REALLY nice, btw) to try convincing me, telling me his marriage is failing and he no longer has a sex life with her, it isn’t actually cheating because it wasn’t with another girl… LOL. Now, I’ve always valued the sanctity of marriage and I would never put myself between it , but he made me feel things about him that I’ve never felt about anyone else but I can’t bring myself to violate his wife like that, yet I can’t bring myself to completely cut him off either. I really want this guy but I don’t think I could live with that on my conscience. It was nice though that he was completely honest from the beginning. It also makes me think about how many others he’s been cheating with. I now understand why so many people choose to be jumpoffs…

What should I do?


thanks foxholer and welcome!

why is it you meet the wolf/hybrid/fox of your dreams
ย he is with some vixen?
i might get dragged for this statement,
but why is it the dls always make you feel so damn sexy?
i have met a lot of gay wolves,
but a majority never really made me feel “that something” like the dl ones.
not to say they are better,
because they’re usually not,
but they way they try to get in your foxhole


he sounds like he is full of shit.
it also sounds like he uses those lines on plenty to get side foxhole.
most married wolves in general use the:

my wife doesn’t please me anymore.
we don’t fuck like we use to.
we fight all the time and its not the same like it use to be.
blah blah blah…
yada yada yada…
take my pants off and comfort me with my pipe in yo mouf”

…but i bet you when she finds out he is cheating,
he will suddenly “want to work it out”.
he will cut you off to please and make her happy.
tumblr_inline_nym2vwpEVw1t0n67w_500you will never win.

lets also add to the fact he has 5 cubs with her.
obviously he likes fuckin’ and skeetin’ up in her.
he just happens to like foxhole on the side too.
it’s hard to leave it “alone” because he is your fantasy.
they tend to be what we desire so it’s coming from a “sexual” place.
it’s not “companionship” for the lonely.
it’s “fuck my brains out and call me tomorrow”.

tumblr_o2s2b0KOrz1uv8j5ko2_500i could tell you don’t do it,
but your words are saying otherwise.
i say understand 110% what you are getting into.
“jumpoffs” are usually just sex and a time limit afterwards.
they never fully get what the “wife” has.
if you can get with that that,
then go right ahead.
wrap it up,
keep your feelings out of it,
and use him for your advantage.
just know if he ever left his wife,
he will have to pay child support for 5 cubs.


that would already be the turn off for me.
hope that helped reader!
keep me posted on your decision!

jamari fox

Author: jamari fox

the fox invited to the blogging table.

24 thoughts on “f0xmail: DL, Married, 5 Cubs, and Wants My Foxhole BAD!

  1. Great advice jamari but I have a feeling the foxmail sender is too tempted to try it out. Most from this line:

    “Now, Iโ€™ve always valued the sanctity of marriage and I would never put myself between it , but he made me feel things about him that Iโ€™ve never felt about anyone else ”

    Your feelings are already in it and once that happens it really hard to get out. Unless the sex is just wack you’re going to get tired of just being the jump off. Like J said you’re going to want the wifey treatment and it’s never gonna come. Not to sound harsh but This wolf has already spend sooo long with this life he has built for himself that there no way he’s gonna give it up for hump side booty. Especially if he’s all the man you building him up to be in this letter i’m sure it’s very easy for him to get Fox buns.

    I say cut things off now while you can still handled ” what could have been” because like I said once you’re in you might not be strong enough to to get out. Your heart is way more valuable than a few romps in the sack.

    Be strong.

  2. Tell him not to go there, J! He probably will…but he shouldn’t.
    Maybe dude is going through marital issues, maybe he isn’t. Dudes will say a LOT of things to try to get some ass/dick.
    That dude will never be his completely, and at some point or another he’s going to want to be with him 100% and it’s not going to happen.
    I hope he means it when he says that he doesn’t want to get in between their marriage. That’s a dead issue for me. You got on a ring or a tan line where a ring should be…we can only be friends. Nothing is happening.

  3. If ruining the sanctity of marriage is bothering you (like it would me) give him the ultimatum (be prepared to lose this) “her or me, make a decision”. I don’t like when people spring ultimatums on me, but this is where it’s a good idea because it tells you the information you need. You force him to realize what he REALLY wants(=what he chooses) either he really wants HER and his KIDS as a unified family unit, or he wants YOU.

    How do you get him to choose? He doesn’t get your “foxhole” until relations with her are OVER =divorced and moved out.

    The point is, this is the best choice for you because you have a conscience and don’t want to jeopardize a family unit (but why should you care if he doesn’t?) and this option keeps it clean and everything on the table.

    I would move on to another free man, because even if he DOES choose you, you would feel bad.

    “If you really want me, then become a free agent, and claim me, if not, you don’t want me as bad as you say, you want to have your cake and eat it too” he can’t have both, not in this case.

    He’ll say he wants you, but what is he willing to go through to get you? Ask yourself that, and if he is willing to give up his wife and kids for you, is that the kind of person you want? Food for thought.

    1. He’ll never choose him lol. He has kids. Closeted men with kids don’t fuck around with this kinda stuff. Kids make everything complicated. ESPECIALLY if the man isn’t ready for anybody to know that he gets down. These men are extra serious about the DL stuff when they have kids because they think about them too and it scares them.

      I doubt he’ll just divorce his wife for the sake of it and go to his lil side thang. And IF he happens to have him, it will be short-lived.

      1. Yeah,that was the point of my comment. I know all this lol. That’s why I said “(be prepared to lose this)” because it’s unreasonable to ask the reader to be okay with being the side-piece, but it’s also WAY unreasonable to ask the dude to leave his wife and kids for the side-piece.

        Basically what I was saying to the reader is that it’s a lose/lose situation.

  4. Go ahead and join the team, because make no mistake, there IS a TEAM. If he’s not loyal to his wife he most certainly is fucking multiple dudes.

    If he’s bold enough to hit you on facebook, it’s only a matter of time before his spot is blown up anyway.

  5. Just cut off contact with him. He has too much baggage and , like Jay said, you are probably not the only one. Even if you draw tight boundaries on this relationship, you’re still gonna wind up salty.

  6. Married dude spittin that DL G on him homie. That’s the new pick up line it seems. “I’m taken but I’m not happy. You want to be my side piece? My fuck buddy?” FOH. If you don’t think you deserve all of one person and not just a piece of them, then somethings wrong with you bro. I want it all! Safe tho. Lol

    1. Billy B.

      LOL unfortunately it works on lots of gay dudes looking for some sort of connection. I was in a situation with a married guy and when had enough he decided to move on. He said:

      “I need to try making things work with my wife. So I need to put this gay stuff behind me.”

      lol.. See how convenient the wife became once he got bored with his hookup? Once the sexual curiousity is gone they will drop you in a hot second. If anyone decides to hookup with a man who belongs to someone else, DO NOT allow your feelings to get involved. Enjoy the sex and don’t catch feelings.

    1. I thought the same thing lol. Most of these foxmail posters always end up doing the shit they said they didn’t want to do in their foxmail

  7. Married pineapples are the worse. Run from this MF before your life and credit are both completely ruined. If you get caught, you are going to be the dirty homosexual who broke up his family, it will all be your fault. He is going to cry, fall out in church and beg for forgiveness from wifey and she will let him back because he was just curious and slipped into temptation because those gay dudes are so nasty and so relentless in their pursuits. She has five kids, she aint going no damn where and he aint either. The last thing you need is 5 kids growing up telling everybody how you broke up their home and ruined their childhoods. I aint no Saint and I have dealt with married dudes on the low more than once and I can tell you first hand that they are so messed up inside that you are never going to get to know who they really are. They want respect your feelings and they will leave you high and dry with little explanation. If you wanna “F” em, do it on your terms and only for you, you have to leave any feelings and emotions out of it. They play with your emotions, but in reality they just want your sex an nothing else. You only been here a month, but do some research in the archives, you can learn a lot about these crazy ass DL pineapples.

  8. Gay people always OVER ANALYZE…….go fuck the dude and stop playing cute. Thats what gay people do….they meet, they connect, they kiss and fuck with eyes wide open. Two consenting adults fucking. Why are you worried about the wife? Marriage is over rated. She is probably fucking some other dude or woman. It’s just sex dude, ihe is not asking you to marry him.

    1. Excuse me? Just because you do not value marriage does mean you should sleep with someone else’s husband. It is always the ones who can’t get a man or a husband hating and disrespecting a marriage.

      I wish someone would sleep with my husband and I find about it, my get back game is strong and it will be handled.

  9. Those DL boys are the worst.. I remember one messaged me trying to fuck & I asked him how does he feel about knowing that he cheats on his girlfriend with men and this nigga responded “shit happens” LMAO!! I can’t do with all that extra baggage. You better have some coins stashed somewhere if you really want me to engage in your debauchery. And by coinTs I mean A LOT!!

    And sir you are just a jump off to him. He hasn’t hit it yet (I’m assuming) so he’s just thirsting off the “mystery/fantasy” of having sex with you. That’s when men are nicest to you. When they want to smash for the first time. Because there’s that mystery. These men with families will make you feel like you are God’s gift when they first meet you because they want some. But as time passes they’ll eventually get bored of you & drop you like a bad habit.

    Think about it, do you really think a closeted man with a WIFE and CHILDREN is going to put that on the line for some ASS? He has way too much to lose! You aren’t the first and you won’t be the last! If you just want to fuck around until you get bored of each other then by all means by my guest but don’t catch feelings. Because judging by your post you seem to feel some way about him.

    Be safe my brother!!

  10. Run as fast as you can from this man and his lies. I could never sleep with a married man or even someone else’s boyfriend for that matter. This man has an entire family, it sounds to me that any sexual interaction with him could turn messy. They always claim they are not satisfied at home with their wives just to reel you in, and most fall for it every time. Another problem with many in this life style is that they have a low self-esteem. Many are not used to good men, so when they come across a man who makes them feel worthy with the his words, it is easy for them to fall for it. Downlow men are nothing but trouble.

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