don’t let your erection do the thinking for you

this is an entry for my male readers.
we need to keep our erections in full check.
sometimes when males are horny,
and really attracted to someone,
we get way too aggressive at times.
check: the social media comments of attentionisto/nistas.

i’m guilty of fonting while horny on the foxhole.
some people are for it and others…
in real life however,
some folks are way too aggressive with the touching.
i’ve learned

Do NOT touch random folks you might be fully attracted too

i don’t touch anyone unless they prove they’re into me.
even still,
i let them control the narrative.
i’ve dealt with a few who i thought were interested in me,
made it seem they were,
but turned around and said otherwise.
i had to me wipe my forehead because my horniness was on tier 8.
if i would grabbed his pipe,
or even feel up on arms,
i woulda ended up looking crazy.
this is a brand new era of #metoo.
even as gays with the straights,
some folks can be trife af.
i’ve seen straights lie and say someone gay tried to come onto them.
everyone naturally believed the straight,
while ruining the innocent rep.
it happened to me once.

this jackal,
i thought was cool with me,
 said i invited him over to my crib and tried to come onto him.
crazy part is,
he’s never been in my apartment.
he blatantly lied to folks we were mutually cool with.
thank God some they took my side and banished his ass.
he was low key jealous/attracted to me but that’s another story.
i’ve seen someone at a past job get fired for that shit too.
they thought a vixen was into them and decided to hug her from the behind.
being the dirty jackal bitch she was,
she told a supervisor how uncomfortable it made her feel.
she claimed he was “grinding his erection into her tail” with that hug.
next thing you know,
he was out the door.

so to avoid mess with folks:

keep hugs brief
keep hands on waists or small of back
hand shakes if you feel unsure

it’s easy for things to be taken the wrong way nowadays.
the moment you do,
they’ll hashtag your head and fuck up your reputation out here.
folks are fucked up.
it’s worst when you have money and power.
you will lose everything you worked hard for in a heartbeat.
so i had to ask the foxhole…

What signs give you the green light to touch someone?

that “ariana grande scandal” inspired me.
i think this might be an important font today.

lowkey: ive around males with fat butts,
big pecs,
nice arms,
and delicious prints,
but i keep my erection out of my line of thinking.

Author: jamari fox

the fox invited to the blogging table.

15 thoughts on “don’t let your erection do the thinking for you”

  1. This is so true. I don’t even talk to seemingly straight males for real. You have to make the effort to be my friend in order for me to have any kind of greenlight. A lot of dudes at my job say things behind my back like my attitude is crazy and all sorts of stuff cause I treat them like ghosts. Not to say their aren’t nice straight guys at my job who I don’t talk too especially in the sense that we have to communicate about the job but I mostly avoid most of them and I’m constantly on defense mode cause I’ve literally brushed a male by accident and he jumped and yelled “don’t touch me I’m a man!” I was horrified that he acted this way and from that point I keep my eyes straight and I’m EXTREMELY careful not to touch them or give them any inkling that I find them cute or have them thinking I’m into them when sometimes I’m not. It’s a tough world being gay. A lot of us get accused of garbage we know isn’t true.

    1. ^”don’t touch me i’m a man”?

      that’s almost similar to when i called a dude and i would ask how is he doing.
      he would respond:

      “men don’t ask each other how they’re doing.”

      he would say that all the time to various things.
      i was younger and that fucked my head up on how to deal with males.

      1. Yeah Jamari, I must say through seeing what has happened to others, i’ve learned how to deal wit straight niggas strictly Hood PC! so well so that I’ve messed up some opportunities when I knew a dude was down but I couldn’t let my guard down enough to let him know I WAS, ugh, I fit in great with my male coworkers, the only thing that Raises an eyebrow is 1. When I’m asked why I never Get at the females at work, I usually give a bullshit excuse bout how I’m gettin my shit together, and females are hella distracting/ expensive (you wouldn’t believe how many niggas relate therefore, dnt even question further 😂) and 2. When the topic turns to sports lol baby I ain’t even got that level of DL in me to try an learn this shit, I jus find an excuse to dip or act too busy to comment

      2. Wooowww I can’t believe that. So wtf are you supposed to say to him off the rip? That legit makes no sense. And I can see how that would mess you up in the head. These dudes don’t know what they do to us and other when they treat us like we’re something to catch and theres no cure. But I wonder… a lot of us know that most men that are extremely masculine tend to be DL my question is are all of them? Or are they genuinely like unsure about how to deal with us?

  2. I have a policy of don’t touch me unless I give you permission. I don’t want folks to feel like I’m that comfortable with them placing their hands on me, women included.

    There is a double standard with it sometimes. Women can be in violation as well.

    Unless you are my mother, close relative, my boyfriend or my best friend, you are not allowed to touch me, unless I initiate you for a handshake or mutual business agreement.

    There are exceptions though with young children and the elderly.

    Otherwise, I don’t play that at work. I don’t get friendly with coworkers. I’m there to collect my check, pay my bills and save money. 😂😂 I ain’t got time for that. I keep it Cool, Concise and Careful, while still being Cordially Connected to the person.

    1. ^i learned to keep co workers at a distance.
      unless it’s your boss,
      getting close can lead to all kinds of drama.
      i’ve seen and been in the situation.

      as far as touching,
      i don’t like anyone doing it unless i give the green light.

      1. Thats the best way to be these days. Like I can understand if someone brushed against me. I’m fine. I’m talking about the folks that touch you like “we cool.”

        We are in this era where everyone wants to play “the victim” though.

        This is an aggravated tatic of the attentionisto and attentionista brought on by the seed of the narcissistic gene. These days folks will do the most for five minutes of fame, including ruining your repretation for life just to make themselves seem relevant in the eyes of humanity.

        Straight black men and white feminists seem to be the major culprits when it comes to the “he brushed against my arm and I feel raped” movement.

        Straight black men with gays and white feminists with everything that has high testosterone.

        The first comment I read with the guy jumping up yelling “don’t touch him he’s a man”…even though it was an accident..Oh baby, that straight man right there is a “future problem” and is due for automatic cancellation right at that moment.

        Negative vibes have been cut….Toodles.

      2. I’ll keep them at a distance as well. If they get too personal, I say noneya (had to break it down to a few people). Lol
        I’m amazed at how much of their personal lives my co-workers share. I’ll tell them in a minute..TMI! I don’t want to know, I don’t need to know. And you should stop putting your business out there like that.

        One co-worker (the nosy one in the office) said to me last week, you know we don’t know much about you. I said, like what? So she said you know like girlfriends, kids, etc. I said I had a girlfriend but she fucked my best friend, so now I don’t. Kids, don’t want them. Got enough nieces and nephews to fill the void. If you could’ve seen the look on her face. I said don’t ask questions to which you might not like the answer you get. I have no filter for nosy folks. LMAO

  3. Wow it’s so weird that people in the US in general have such an issue with touching. Being an immigrant from an african country where men are very affectionate even holding hands while walking together is okay there, I was briefed on touching during my first day of school as an Esol student. They said oh no in this country touching us a HUGE thing so you cannot touch anyone.

    I do get it, hearing you guys talk about touching being an issue especially from your experience, it sounds like PTSD almost like you are afraid of being targeted or put in that position where your sexual identity is challenged or questioned or belittled.

    I am still an affectionate person and at my job I am blessed to work with people who are the same way, the straight men I know or have encountered are also very open to being affectionate, from hugging, to dapping to arms around the shoulder or some sort of touch and it’s been cool.

    The only times that I’ve actually had an issue with touch has been from gay black men. “Don’t touch me!” Every time that’s happened it shook me like damn I just wanted to show you love as I said a joke or tried to be friendly, it really rubbed me the wrong way like wtf is wrong with this person? I used to think like bruh you are nobody or not that important to to be touch so FOH! But over the years I’ve realised that this is deeper.

    Know ppl are unpredictable and we encounter others in life with some really shitty motives but don’t ever deny yourselves the right to experience affection because we are all so deserving of it. Most people who don’t want you to touch them haven’t been shown that type of love so they reject it as soon as you present it to them because they don’t think that they are worthy of it.

    Love you all brothers!

    1. Honestly it has nothing to do with PTSD, well for me.. I just prefer my personal space and when I am touched unwarrantably I feel somewhat invaded.. We all have mouths so touching isn’t mandatory if you want to get a point across unless you want to embrace. I don’t make a big deal if I’m touched tbh but I am not a toucher so I definitely wouldn’t touch somebody else. The only time I touch is extending for a handshake when I formally meet somebody or dapping my close friends or hugging. I rarely ever hug my own mother and even she finds it odd..

      1. 😂😂 You was the first person I thought about. I was like..”Now let me go see if he don put this up on his blog..if not I know it’s coming.”😂

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