Abuse Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things

everyone is a villain no matter who tells the story.
i’m a villain who enjoys it once i’m casted as one.
it’s never because i was vindictive to someone else tho.
i’ll make it my mission to play it extremely well.
we all have played the villain once or twice in our lives.
tonya harding was a villain in the media,
but after watching the movie “i, tonya” played by margot robbie,
i’m beginning to think she is a victim

i was too young to remember the tonya harding/nancy kerrigan story.
i knew a little of it because it was all over the news.
tonya was a figure skater,
but from the media’s perspective,
she was a crazy she-hyena.
one who allegedly had someone break nancy kerrigan’s knee cap.
tonya saw nancy as her alleged competition and wanted her dealt with.

That’s the story i was told

i believed it because tonya acted like she had no fucks to give.
when i watched “i, tonya”,
from her version of events,
i’ve come to realize she was a product of her own environment.
she came from a “white trash” background,
but she suffered from the hands of abuse from her mother.
it led her into a abusive marriage and after the scandal broke,
the public turned and then abused her.
per her pov,
she had nothing to do with what happened to nancy.
i can see it by what the movie portrayed.
i was into it and it really made me see how abuse can travel.
some of us become villains because we were made.
fuck bois/girls aren’t born.
they are created by something in those fragile states when we are cubs.
the abuse we faced is what we give to others.
i’ve heard:

the first love who broke a heart in elementary school
life circumstances
being gay and being abused by others
being gay and not knowing how to handle it

don’t act like i’m fonting chinese.
there are some abusive ass mean gays out here.
just waking up angry for no reason.
we are not your mother,
or the bully in kindergarten.
i come in peace.
it’s so interesting to me tho.
i enjoyed the movie and urge everyone to check it out.
it’s always great to see life through the eyes of others.
villains always a story.
“i, tonya” is in theaters right now.

low-key: sebastain stan is my white wolf bae.
i’d ride him so hard.

giving up would be so hard because this is how i express myself.

Author: jamari fox

the fox invited to the blogging table.

5 thoughts on “Abuse Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things”

  1. Well, I have a very stoic attitude towards most men. I do know when I was in Jr. High, my first boy crush that liked also liked me as well (alas “boyfriend”) got shot in the head over the weekend in his front yard…I was somewhat devistated. It’s hard to believe that some 20+ years I still remember his nickname “Fluff” (cause of those puffy face cheeks when he smiled.) I remember the last time I saw him & he looked at me with a smirk of teenaged angst mixed with “I want you.”

    Contradictory, when I was in college I had a crush on a straight boy…and thought he was cute and would just gawk at his cuteness. He seemed a bit angry at the fact that I thought he was hot, which he displayed one day with “hot eyes”…come to find out from class peers, he ended up getting shot to death over the weekend. The funny part was, he was what we call a “contract killer, drug dealer.”

    His homies brought his draining body to the hospital..(or shall I say dropped it off to conceal their identites) outside and he eventually ended up dying there. I think he was just fresh out of high school..Had to be 17/18. I had come too realized that I was playing with fire. I’m sure given the opportunity, he may have even killed me for “liking on him…”

    Both of these instances affect me on a subconscious level, even still to this day..

    There are many more experiences sprinkled in but life does mold people in strange ways. Id reckon that life sets the blueprint but it is the person that constructs the foundation. Whatever comes into their household is because they allowed access.

    1. ^OMG this is so deep!!!!!

      i did some thinking about others and how abusive they are.
      it all leads back to a road in their childhood.
      it’s pretty scary.
      i urge everyone to vet potentials they bring into their lives.
      we are all damaged by something/someone,
      but the true test is how we handle what life throws at us.

      folks out here are crazy af.

    1. No problem. Sometimes it’s good too share such things. This post made me think of “Fluff” again (Fernando was his real name). It’s amazing how his smirk is still ingrained in my mind after sooo many years. He lives on through my memories though. At least I have that.

      I think everyone in the Foxhole has been through something (or things) that have had them a bit reluctant. As Jamari said, folks out there are crazy..

      It’s a tough world out there for a fox…Every hunter wants your fur for their next coat. Gotta stay alert, gotta stay strong and gotta keep moving forward until the end.

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