35 thoughts on “DeRay Is Not His “Hair” (Replace Hair)”

1. Another prominent member of BLM who also happens to be a gay man is Darnell L Moore.He and Alicia Garza ,who is also gay, just opened the Hip Hop Honors Tribute to Queen Latifah,Missy,Lil Kim and Salt n Pepa.

   1. Thanks YC I will check them out.

2. “If your love for me requires that I hide parts of who I am, then you don’t love me. Love is never a request for silence”—Deray via twitter

3. @King: Not a intersection for me at all and I’m very clear where I stand. I’m aware my experience is different from most and its reflected in my views.

   I just find it disturbing gay black men can write long-winded essays criticizing the black community and church but they’re silent when it comes to any criticisms of the gay community and even idealize it.

   How can you fix your mouth to ask for acceptance when “No fat, no fems” is a life mantra for you?

   How can you say you’re for equality when you judge people by what they’re wearing and their socioeconomic status?

   How can you as a gay man condemn homophobes when you don’t want anything to do with fems your damn self?

   Host. Of. Contradictions.

   Yet, when you happen to be in the crosshairs of rejection its a problem.

   1. I understand your concerns and respect your opinion brother.

4. This is a rather short essay called “There Is No Hierachy of Oppression” by Audre Lorde which talks about the intersectionality of the author’s subscribed categories (black, lesbian, socialist, etc.). It is a great reading to understand and work out on multiple identities (race, sex, gender, sexual orientation, etc.) to which we may subscribe and celebrate.

   “There Is No Hierarchy of Oppressions” :

   “I was born Black and a woman. I am trying to become the strongest person I can become to live the life I have been given and to help effect change toward a livable future for this earth and for my children. As a Black, lesbian, feminist, socialist, poet, mother of two including one boy and member of an interracial couple, I usually find myself part of some group in which the majority defines me as deviant, difficult, inferior or just plain ‘wrong’.
   From my membership in all of these groups I have learned that oppression and the intolerance of difference come in all shapes and sizes and colors and sexualities; and that among those of us who share the goals of liberation and a workable future for our children, there can be no hierarchies of oppression. I have learned that sexism (a belief in the inherent superiority of one sex over all others and thereby its right to dominance) and heterosexism (a belief in the inherent superiority of one pattern of loving over all others and thereby its right to dominance) both arise from the same source as racism – a belief in the inherent superiority of one race over all others and thereby its right to dominance.

   ‘Oh,’ says a voice from the Black community, ‘but being Black is normal!’ Well, I and many Black people of my age can remember grimly the days when it didn’t used to be!
   I simply do not believe that one aspect of myself can possibly profit from the oppression of my other part of my identity. I know that my people cannot possibly profit from the oppression of any other group which seeks the right to peaceful existence. Rather, we diminish ourselves by denying to others what we have shed blood to obtain for our children. And those children need to learn that they do not have to become like each other in order to work together for a future they will all share.

   The increasing attacks upon lesbians and gay men are only an introduction to the increasing attacks upon all Black people, for wherever oppression manifests itself in this country, Black people are potential victims. And it is a standard of right-wing cynicism to encourage members of oppressed groups to act against each other, and so long as we are divided because of our particular identities we cannot join together in effective political action.
   Within the lesbian community I am Black, and within the Black community I am a lesbian. Any attack against Black people is a lesbian and gay issue, because I and thousands of other Black women are part of the lesbian community. Any attack against lesbians and gays is a Black issue, because thousands of lesbians and gay men are Black. There is no hierarchy of oppression.

   It is not accidental that the Family Protection Act, which is virulently anti-woman and anti-Black, is also anti-gay. As a Black person, I know who my enemies are, and when the Ku Klux Klan goes to court in Detroit to try and force the Board of Education to remove books the Klan believes “hint at homosexuality,” then I know I cannot afford the luxury of fighting one form of oppression only. I cannot afford to believe that freedom from intolerance is the right of only one particular group. And I cannot afford to choose between the fronts upon which I must battle these forces of discrimination, wherever they appear to destroy me. And when they appear to destroy me, it will not be long before they appear to destroy you.”

   1. @ daliteskinkat, thanks for the essay. It reminds me of these words.

      “Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.”

      – Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

5. Although DeRay blocked me on Twitter over a misunderstanding, I still have love for all the work he does, and this is not the first time he has been hated on for his sexuality, it is a constant by both Blacks and Conservative Whites. Many Black male activist who are pro-black have this mindset that homosexuality is a white man disease and gay men are weak all the while many of them are secretly smashing snow vixens or doing other detrimental things that hurt our community while talking a good game. If I am not mistaken one of the founders of BLM is a lesbian woman of color. We are out on the front lines strong even in the midst of disrespect, because we understand better than most about discrimination when we catch it from all sides.

6. I might be in the minority here but I am a whole person. Meaning that my sex, gender, race, sexuality, etc. make up who I am. Not one of these characteristics defines me completely because they all come together to make me who I am. And I simply refuse to be ostracized and oppressed because of one facet of my being.

   The comments that Deray receives because of his sexuality are simply disgusting. And most of them are written by straight black men. They demean him (and women in the movement as well) in terrible ways.

   I find it interesting that many men in this forum put the burden on gay black men’s back to get over the discrimination they face (at the hands of the people who should accept them) and just side with the black community. How about we pressure these homophobic assholes to better themselves and be more inclusive.

   Y’all do realize that there are Black people out there who view your gay ass as inhuman and demonic right? Just like many white people view Black people as inhuman?

   I don’t want a half-assed liberation. If you aren’t for ALL Black lives then you aren’t for Black lives at all. And like someone mentioned I urge you all to look up Bayard Rustin. Such an important part of the Civil Rights Movement but silenced because of his sexuality.

   1. @ King

      Thank you brother! Thank you! 👍🏼

   2. Now take all that logic and criticism and apply it to the superficial culture, colorism, lack of representation of minorities, and divisiveness in the gay community.

      If you want to be critical of one and they both make up who you are equally, be critical of both.

      The same hypermasculinity that breeds homophobia is the same hypermasculinity gays value in men and put on a pestal.

      1. You’re absolutely correct. It’s a catch-22. But we cannot deny that intersectionality exists for all of us commenting. Most of us check boxes that the world deems unacceptable (Black and LGBTQIA). But it’s unfair (and in some cases unrealistic) for us to just check one box because that then leads to erasure of certain parts of our existence.

7. Like I said before, if you’re conflicted about standing with those that look like you and experience a lot of the same inequality then we don’t need you. Work on even getting a float with at least two people of color on it in a gay pride parade and see how that goes.

   Everyone is not going to agree on everything but I’ve yet to hear or see any black people turn attention from the topic at hand to bashing black members of the LGBT community. Sure you’ll have a few assholes but those people aren’t doing shit anyway.

   If you as a homosexual are using this time as a way to seek affirmation from the African American community for being homosexual get a life and stop seeking permission to live it.

   Plenty of coons were sitting back and criticizing the civil rights movement. Plenty of blacks are spitting that same black on black crime rhetoric, meanwhile the prisons are full of black people that are paying for their crimes.

   1. Jay

      Thankfully, I don’t know of any Black men seeking affirmation or permission from the African American community just to be “GAY” LOL. But I do know of a few cowardly DL homosexuals who seek “affirmation” from them just to be “Black.” A few are on this page.

      1. Yes, they do.

         They need all people to put aside their beliefs (religious or otherwise) instilled in them and have no affect on their lives anyway to tell them “its ok to be gay”.

         Believe it or not, I find that most people do not care, but when you solicit other people’s opinion on your life, you invite criticism and rejection.

         These same black men so “conflicted” by homophobia in black movements have no problem being in the minority in LGBT movements, Pride, and Gay Bars. So as far as I’m concerned they’ve already chosen what’s more important and they can disappear and be some white man’s fetish.

      2. Peg,

         Please be nice before the blog finds out who you are behind that computer screen. 🙄

         1. Dee Jay LMAO!

            Not wise to make threats like the one you just made on the Internet. In fact, it’s plain stupid! With a screenshot of your comment there are a multitude of things many people on the dark web would like to do to people like you just to teach you a lesson. But I’ll tell you what? How about I save you the trouble and not post where I’m not welcomed….

            Some gay men prefer being in a bubble of existence where their opinions are rarely if ever challenged. I won’t disturb your little bubble any longer.

8. I have much love for DeRay for his efforts on behalf of our people. I read some of those put downs of him on Twitter and found them despicable. I would wager that some of those criticizing him could not hold candles to all he’s been doing. And, the sad part is some of those haters are probably closet cases who are self-loathing.

   We are everywhere. I have been at this before many of you were born and I can tell you firsthand many of us in the forefront of our struggles have been and are in the life. It’s just that we tend to live among other black people and look like everybody else. We don’t tend to live in gay ghettos like white gays. Many straights in the struggle for our rights know what’s up and have the utmost respect for us. They know we more than carry our weight. That’s why this hating on DeRay is so repulsive. I’ll end with this: if those of us in the life were to stop what we’re doing, our progress as a people would be crippled. And, you can take that to the bank.

   1. You are always a voice of reason and knowledge in a sea of ignorance and stupidity.

   2. ^^^

9. The problem isn’t that merely some members of the black community don’t agree with someone’s sexuality. Many pro-black/Pan African/hotep activist often use anti-gay rhetoric as a platform for their causes. They believe their opinions represent those of the black community. That’s why some members of the black LGBT community struggle to trust the main black community.

   The trust issue would be solved if there is discussion so we are all on the same page.

   1. OPM1988

      Those Pan African Hotep clowns aren’t going anywhere. They will always be a part of the movement because no one within the movement will challenge their bigoted beliefs.

10. Jamari, when you get a chance look up Bayard Rustin.

11. I believe I successfully made my points yesterday on the other Blacks Lives Matter thread and I stand by those points today. I will not return to points already made as minds are already made up! It’s not my mission to change or convert anyone’s mind about BLM, but if I was able to open your mind ever so slightly then I’d say I succeeded at planting some healthy doubt. And thanks for the honorable mention in your opening post, but don’t assume to know if I place my sexuality before my race without ever engaging me in that discussion.

    Btw, when you go on social media looking for something that conforms with what you ‘already’ want to believe, you usually find it.

    Be well.

    1. ^blk,
       the vix-bi mentioned your name in the fox mail.
       it seems to others you made interesting points that need to be discussed.
       regardless if I agreed or not,
       you have a right to your opinion.
       i will say i didn’t agree with the name calling as it took away from your points greatly.

       1. @Jamari

          I missed that. My apologies.
          This past week has seen lots of emotions from everyone. It’s never a good day when I am lowered to calling someone names, but I was obviously turn’t up over the issue of homophobia. I was both angry at any straight person who would dare challenge my right to be Black and proud because of my sexuality just as I was angered at the notion that gay Black men would dare defend that stance. But in the end, it was a healthy debate as it should always be.

          Hugz to the Fox Hole 😘

    2. I did not say you place your sexuality before your race.I said you don’t put your race before your sexuality ,meaning that are of equal importance.If I misunderstood you ,I apologize.

       1. Y Colette

          No, please accept my apologies along with anyone who found themselves in my line of fire this weekend. I misinterpreted what I read.. (Still getting the hang of Jamari’s posting styles)

12. I don’t think DeRay should stop fighting for the cause you can tell it’s something he’s passionate about. The debate in the foxhole yesterday was an interesting one, even though Black Pegasus brought up some points I didn’t agree the main question that came to my mind from reading his comments were ” What if one of these black men that lost their lives were gay? Would they still get the same support and outcries? ”

    I would like to think they would, I know sexuality isn’t insert into every aspect of a lot of gays out there but what about the ones where it’s a huge part of them just like their skin color is? I say I’m black first before I’m gay or nerdy or anything else because its the first thing most people see when they see me , but their are gays of color ( not just black) who feel like it’s equal. I sometimes feel like I can get judged for my skin color by non blacks the same way I can get judged for my sexuality by some black people.

    1. ^i agree.
       those wolves were killed for their race first.
       their past arrest weren’t taped to their chest.
       we are all black first regardless of what we identify as.
       this shows the world still has a lot of work as far as acceptance is concerned.

    2. If you want to see how the gays got support after Orlando, my time line was filled with sympathy from straight people. Wait… I thought blacks were the ones that’s homophobic, but isn’t the media owned by whites and they are the ones highlighting him being gay. Also, it was not just him being part of BLM that put a target on his back but when he decided to run for mayor they really wanted to go after him. It was great that Bey and Jay donated a million dollars to his campaign for support. I will be looking for Delay work address to send him some support and words of encouragement to let him know that he is appreciated while people are sitting behind a computer or mobile device running their mouths.

13. I am extremely glad you touched on this. Regarding Deray, that man has done so much in support of his people in hopes of change, that I cannot even describe it in enough words. I was highly disappointed to see some lost focus of his work thus far to shift the it on his sexuality. The majority of the ones complaining were men, which was surprising because why are grown men looking for other grown men to lead them when they should be starting a path themselves. Am I wrong? Young boys are the ones who need guidance, not grown men.

    As I said yesterday on here, when our people are unarmed and being unlawfully gunned down by the police, we need to stand as one. Yes, some of us are gay and some of our own people do not support our lifestyle, and I understand that completely. However, we are ALL black people first. Your blackness is a part of you that is always seen, it can never be covered up or hidden, unlike our sexuality. Does anyone reading believe that if they were to be stopped by the police, the cop is thinking about their sexuality? He probably will not even notice. However, he will notice that your are black, and THAT is what determines how your are treated once you come in contact with the police.

    The homophobia within our community is not the issue here or is the reason Black Lives Matter was created. When we start talking about sexuality and who is included, we lose focus of the real matter at hand. Our bodies are being undervalued by those who are supposed to protect us, rather than be in fear as soon as they approach us, yet people are worrying about who is included.

    1. ^excellent comment man.
       it is really sad sexuality comes first to grown straight wolves.
       like,
       they ain’t doing nothing but complain while deray is on the front line.
       smh.

14. I ride for my black people. I am black before I am a Trinidadian. I am black before I am a paralegal. I am black before I am gay. My loyalties are not divided at all. If you, as a black person have a problem with my sexuality, we can take that up at another time. Let’s come together for purpose NOW as black people. I’m sorry that the brother is catching so much flack. You have a lot of prominent gay black men and women that realize that black stuggles and gay struggles are NOT the same. They realize that they may be slighted and have been slighted in life due to their race and not neccessarily their sexuality. The white people who found out about his sexuality used it to detract from the legitimate goals of BLM and used it as a talking point, but that doesn’t negate his activism within the black community. We are more than who we lay with behind closed doors and it shouldn’t take away from what we want and what we are working towards.

    1. ^i love this!
       very well said!

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