when i’m done; i’m done.
when jamari fox is turned off,
it’s really hard to turn him back on.
there are a few attentionistos who disrespected me and the foxhole in the past.
i’ve been sent their biceps,
thighs,
cheeks,
peens,
sex tapes,
and nothing will budge for me to find interest.

Add on how I’ve been killing it in therapy…

“i feel sorry for that man”.
this mercury retrograde has been an interesting one because i’ve been feeling the shifts.
there was a ps4 gaming group that i was in that i realized i outgrew.
i knew i was done when i fully removed myself from the group chat.
there was one member in the group that i was pretty close with,
but i realized early on they would side with them.
call it my foxy senses coming into play.
i was sent a whatsapp message after a month of being ignored.
there is no need to be nasty in your breakups…

…and there you have it.

before,
i would have been filled with anxiety to write that.
the people pleaser in me would have been trying to hold on.

When something is done; it’s done.

we stay in these “ships” that we have outgrown just to say we have someone(s).
you’re not happy tho.
you’re holding onto the good times but not realizing that the bad times are weighing you down.
it’s like being abused and that vicious cycle.

Good times,
bad times,
break up,
back together,
good times again,
and then more bad times.

it’s cool tho.
i had a lot of fun with them but i’m over the cycles.
no beef here.
“it’ not you; it’s me”.
i probably won’t play with that group again,
but there were some individuals that were dope af that i’d play solo with.
i’m all prepared for them to be a united front and block me out tho.
while they’re doing that…

I’ll find another tribe that will provide what I’m looking for.

lowkey: i’m ready to date again.
i feel ready to handle the male species again.