i laid in bed these past few nights and i asked myself:
“Why do people think I’m attractive?”
i’ve always assumed i’m ugly.
when i was younger,
i would get picked on for my big nose and big lips.
i remember always being called “rubber lips” by one of my classmates.
even though i messed with all kinds of fine wolves,
i never thought i was attractive,
but i still did my thing even tho people said i was.
when i revealed myself to the foxhole,
it wasn’t so much about “look at me i’m crutes!!”,
but moreso…
It was time to stop hiding within the shadows of a prison I was creating.
so today,
i got a dm on instagram with this:
when i clicked the link…
…i was taken to a log in screen which was weird.
initially,
it took me a while to click it because i was like:
Should I ruin my day?
you know i’m addicted to pain.
i was already feeling emotionally tired and physically blah so lets add on more shit!
why not?
when i went to look for the site on my ig explorer page,
nothing came up.
i hit up the pretty vixen and told her what was going on.
she responded:
What the FUCK????
she sent me this:
this is how the conversation between the pretty vixen and i went:
before she sent me that,
i ended up speaking to my “mirror fox“.
Mirror Fox/Wolf/Hybrid (d): derived from issa in “insecure”.
when you gotta be your own cheerleader and life coach to your-gaddamn-self in the mirror.
even tho the thought of being featured on an “ugly photos” page did hurt my feelings,
i told myself that not everyone will find me attractive.
i don’t everyone attractive and i’m sure it’s the same with me.
it’s life and we will have to deal with that reality.
if i don’t think i’m attractive anyway,
things like that shouldn’t even effect me.
I don’t look like one of the attentionistos,
i’m not like all the other guys,
there are times i’m awkward af,
and i’m not being chased like others i know/on social media.
i was impressed with myself in how i tried to handle it tho.
if this was a few years ago,
it might have really drove me to a breakdown.
stuff like that can be so triggering for someone who is struggling.
folks are getting clever with these hacks tho.
if YOU ever receive anything like this:
DO NOT CLICK THE LINK
don’t be like those folks on fb who click everything sent to them,
put in their passwords,
and then get got.
they send a message about not to respond to random dms sent from their account.
you know those types.
The scammers be on Jack’d and Grindr too. They ask if you want to make some quick money, all you need is a bank account. I tell them, I’m in a negative what’s the information. They get real mad. What you getting mad for, I’m the one losing my part of the quick money.
I think we all have a “mirror bitch” or “mirror nigga”. That one image that has zero fucks that hype you up to do a whole bunch of bullshit you normally won’t do. Then that mirror image bring yo ass right back to reality. My “Mirror Nigga” got me out of a lot of one night stands possibles and fucked up situations.
This sounded like a scam when I read it; glad you didn’t fall for the okeydoke. And like everyone said, we’re gonna be beautiful to see 6 and ugly to others – but we gotta see ourselves as worthy and enough.
And everyone wants our features – wypipo paying everyday for injections & fillers, and lipo, and tans to look like us – so we got the juice.
And I KNOW yo azz is cute anyway
Anybody who is faceless and talks about anyone else’s appearance is ugly themselves. They’re projecting.
Don’t accept it. Deflect it. Be flattered that someone took so much time to focus on you. The way people are set up they’ll look like a tree monster, try to drag someone, have their picture posted and delete their account or go private.
Black men are never in the conversation. Always a Chad Michael Murry or Zac Efron. We need to create our own Beauty standards and stop salivating over Jason Mayer, Adam Levine or Channing Tatum.
You saw how many compliments you got when you posted your video, Jamari. Miserable people spread negativity. You are growing and this will happen as people jealous of your reach try to shame and hurt you. Do not let them!
^❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
thank you c.
i really liked your idea of creating our own beauty standards.
we need to not feel ugly because of big noses and lips.
White people don’t know Morris Chestnut or Taye Diggs They only know Denzel, Will, John Boyega and Michael B. Jordan. Aside from Halle Berry and Lupita, they act like Black women don’t exist. Things are slowly changing but we need more Black heartthrobs.
I rather this nose than looking like a pig with 2 slits in my face above my mouth. We don’t tell you what you want to hear Jamari, we tell the truth and you are enough.
Thank you! So many BEAUTIFUL Black men out, Lord have mercy, but what always lifts me is seeing how much we do affirm each other, how many of us really love and are attracted to each other, and how it’s not European-looking Black men but Black men of all facial types, colors, etc. who we are into.
I think about all the positive (loving, lustful) comments about the men on Insecure (Lawrence vs. Daniel vs. Nathan vs. Dro), or Trevante Rhodes, or Kofi Siriboe, or Idris Elba, or Morris and Taye, or Aldis Hodge, and on and on. I mean, we have our beauty standards, that we set. Not Yt people. Also, we should never forget how, in the late 1960s and throughout the 1970s and 1980s, the idea of “Black Is Beautiful” was something many, many Black people internalized. We need to do it again, especially if we truly believe Black Lives Matter.
Everyone is ugly to someone and beautiful to someone else. we need to stop looking externally for validation. Learn to find the beauty in yourself and just reinforce that mindset. Be a little cocky. Once you do this people’s opinions will stop affecting you.
Agreed. With validation, it won’t always come. What then? Get plastic surgery?
Who is Jason Mayer??? I meant John Mayer
There’s another scam where they send someone a dm claiming they want to be your sugar daddy. They then ask you for your bank account info so they can “send” you money, but they’re really just going to clean out your account. I swear if those losers don’t get a life.
^it takes a real desperate person to be like OKAY!
never talk to this person a day in your life,
but folks sending bank account info?!
wtf?!
The sad part is every time I get one of those on A4A it has a picture of a middle age white man. I just think. If you really are a middle age white man who likes black guys and wants to be a sugar daddy you don’t have to look. Young gay black men will throw themselves at you.
I got one of those. Some White guy claiming to be a prince from Dubai. He needed my account info to make a Coronavirus Charity donation LOL
And then there’s the scam where if you follow someone who’s famous, the scammers create a fake page that looks almost like the real page; they get the real person’s followers to follow them, then they start sending you to links. or getting you to agree to scams, etc. One kept trying to get me to agree to take “free money” from the government by signing into a form. I was like, Uh, no. I ain’t trying to have the IRS on my ass, plus your DMs look like you barely speak English! I alerted the real (famous) person and IG about the scammer. It kind of freaked me out, though.
BTW, JamariFox, you’re handsome, and truly, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Please don’t ever forget that.