So I’m sitting in this row boat in the middle of Lake Penis and I am not getting any bites.
Maybe I need to move to another side of the river?
Or maybe I need to stay put and wait for that Great Dark Meat swim over and take this… bait.
I am, what you can say, going thru a dry spell. I haven’t felt this horny for a while and I half way solved that problem with Yungin’ #3. Even still, I didn’t get my back blown so that was useless. I am in need of some penis but my Meat Locker is empty and I put in an order months ago. I am almost ready to fuck the delivery man when he brings the meat in.
I was speaking to a dude a few weeks ago though. We will call him Mister Shorty Harlem (or Mister S.H). Let’s talk about how we met… and it was crazy trife but I wanted the dick so I admit my faults to my readers. That’s why you love me.
My cousin’s Ex is a dumb ass nigga. There, I said it.
I wanted to say that for a long time but I felt NOW was the right time.
Anyway, he was “supposedly” talking to Mister Shorty Harlem when he was showing me the pictures one June afternoon.
“Dam….mit.” I said to myself, looking at his Myspace pictures, imagining what it was like in his jeans.
Mister Shorty Harlem was sexy. He was hood as hell but he was sexy. His alias definitely fits because the nigga is knee high to a fire hydrant (standing at a nice 5’7). But his body was right, rocking tattoos, and he had some Harlem swag to him. You know I like the Harlem swag. So my cousin’s Ex was going on and on about him and how they never messed around but, Mister S.H held him one night after a bad breakup. I was confused as to why he didn’t get the dick but whatever. I was plotting too. Like I said, he is an idiot.
Fast Forward. My cousin and the idiot FINALLY part. Ex bought a new phone and left his old one. Since Ex did some scandalous shit himself, I asked cuz for the math and he gladly gave it to me.
(Funny though = Ex was talking all this and that but when I read the texts between Mister S.H and him, he was looking like a thirsty groupie who ultimately got ignored. I had to BRING it.)
I had to think of a real good way to get at him. I needed a good way to send this text so he doesn’t look at the phone like “WHO-TF?”. I decided to say that we met on Myspace and I got real busy but I am hitting him up now to continue what we started.
BINGO. It worked.
He was skeptical but after I showed him my face and body pictures, he was ready for this good stuff.
So, we talked every day/other day and it was cool. One thing I hated is that he took almost 15 minutes to reply. Also he was always getting high and that drove me up a wall. Only when it was the days before we were suppose to meet, his text game was on heavy. He told me he had a kid. Kid was cute.Ex told me that he was in a relationship with a DUDE. So, I asked because his Myspace said he was taken. He told me he had a shawty (a female) who he was fucking on the regular. Somehow I didn’t believe it nor did I care. I just wanted that long thick dick that he sent me in a picture message that made my whole mind close early due to overwhelming and overheating.
We finally met and he was happy with what he saw (why wouldn’t he?) and I was also. We watched television and talked a little. As we were sitting there, I had to get a feel of his body because he had the tight wife beater on and the pecs were poppin’. He showed me his tattoos especially the new one he got on his chest. That required another cheap feel. Due to circumstances I could not control, we didn’t fuck that day. I was all clean and ready though. He was ready to get it in too. The way he was touching and eye fucking me, I knew he wanted this.
We texted each other a couple days later and texted fucked each other so we could get the party started another day…. and then that was it. I texted him twice to see what was the deal and no reply. That was my limit. I was not going to look like Ex. I threw him off all my contact lists to start the moving on process and just the other day, I saw he erased his Myspace.
There went my little man penis….GONE in the wind….
One could say it was trife on the way how we met but ask me if I give a fuck?
I thought I was onto something because even though he was short, he was sexy and D/L (just how I like them). Since he wanna go Houdini on me, he gets the “F U” sign. He was gonna get some good too because I was ready to turn him out on that living room floor.
“I would have done things to him Heather Hunter would be shame to do…”
So that was that. Everything happens for a reason, right? There was two others in the Meat Locker but, they ended up in the vegetable garden with the rest of the corn. So, I am meatless until someone else grabs my attention.
I need him to hurry because I am about to burst at the seams.