2017 has truly been the year of wake up calls.
it has also been the year of unexpected goodbyes as well.
it really has been exposing who is really in your corner.
i thought i had good straight wolves as friends,
but i see just how i meant nothing to some of them…
we been friends for a couple years.
i could actually have said that i loved him.
i told that wolf everything about me.
he did the same.
the problem with him is he was always about “power” and “control”.
do things so the forest dwellers would be scared of you.
i don’t move like that.
well he hit me up because he was venturing to a new career.
one that i was happy to see he was good at.
well during a convo,
he asked me about getting verified for a blue check on twitter.
this blue check would mean he “made it”,
in his words.
now he just started his career and didn’t build up a solid fan base.
i have this foxhole,
that pulls in over 300k a month,
and i don’t even have a blue check on my own twitter.
it isn’t important.
putting in the work to get the respect is more important to me.
so i asked his reasoning:
“pineapples would feel like shit if they saw me with a blue check!”
it was always about doing something to one up pineapples.
the ones who he was cool with,
but ended up doing him dirty.
so i told him to focus on getting his clout up before he requests to be verified.
“why can’t you ever just say yes and agree to things?”
needless to say we got in a big argument and he hung up on me.
few days later,
he un-followed me from all my social media accounts.
the “straight” co worker
i met him at my second to last job a year ago.
he would always try to get my attention and be cool.
it was all love..
or so i thought?
when a celeb that he mentioned he liked showed up on random at the job,
i hit him up and promptly introduced the two.
they took pictures and he got an autograph.
he was happy.
i like seeing people around me happy.
you real cool!”
so after i got laid off,
he did a few weeks later.
we would talk on texts and he would only want to facetime me.
there was times we would facetime until 2am.
sometimes we talked about music or even sex.
he was “straight” tho.
i noticed when his wolf pack would come around,
he would ignore my texts.
that made me stop hitting him up.
the thing with him is he was depending on me to raise his self esteem.
after he got laid off,
he took it hard.
from all he told me,
he was a spoiled wolf who can’t function without someone else.
“this is why i hit you up.
you can guide me on what to do next with my life.”
he was using me as a therapist.
i would give him suggestions.
he would take them,
but then he would hit me back a few days later with the same problem.
that was becoming draining.
during that time.
i was going mentally going through it and needed a break.
he was blowing up my texts heavy once he couldn’t reach me.
“i had a mental relapse.
we need to talk!”
“i gotta tell you about this hoe i fucked over the weekend.”
so i told him i needed some “me” time because i was struggling.
he never hit me back after that.
few days later,
he un-followed me from all my accounts.
the double agent
i met this dominican wolf at that last job as well.
he was cool…
or so i thought.
he would try to get my attention at work,
but wasn’t as heavy with it like the story above.
we exchanged numbers when i left.
not gonna lie,
i thought he was cute and had this “feeling” about him.
he texted me once or twice but the conversation was dry af.
i stopped responded.
i stopped caring.
peace sign emoji
so one of my ex co workers hit me up and told me how he asked her for me.
he was asking her all these questions about:
if i was still working at the new job
how he heard i was fired
all this other shit
…like this mofo didn’t have my number.
she also told me how he was chummy with my old boss.
i told her how he randomly requested to follow me on my social media.
when i asked him for his socials when we were working together,
he acted like he didn’t have one.
i think he was keeping tabs on what i was doing for my old boss.
well he never spoke to me on the socials.
he was just watching.
well he ended up getting fired last week or so.
his job as “spy bitch” was done.
so guess what happened next?
but not least.
after everything we been through,
he came back into my life a few months ago.
he would hit me up,
but it wasn’t like before.
the day i was laid off from my last job,
he actually got fired from the one we use to work at.
he did some dumb shit at work that i told him to stop doing.
he was looking for a new job,
but he had no bites.
a few weeks ago,
i asked if he found something new yet:
he has been following me on social,
but things changed.
as of recent,
the pictures of the random vixens he was “dating” stopped.
every vixen looked “different”,
although he claimed he was in a steady relationship.
he has completely shut down from his posting now.
he use to like/watch mine,
but he isn’t as interactive as before.
after he how he ghosted me,
ignored me when i tried to reach out,
i don’t feel as comfortable with him as i once did.
he expects me to chase him,
but then treats me like he does the vixens he plays games with.
i lost his respect somewhere down the line.
i decided to let him do his thing,
but that “i’m never leaving your life jamari” talk being bullshit.
i guess everyone was right when it came to him.
i’m moving on from that toxic situation.
he doesn’t have that hold he had on me as before.
so he hasn’t un-followed yet,
but he is gone.
all the vixens i know are the most loyal.
some of the straight wolves try to use me,
but the vixens see all the beauty and worth in me.
it sucks because i barely have straight home wolves anymore,
but most of them probably weren’t down for me as i thought.
it hurt to be discarded like trash,
but it didn’t linger like i would have last year.
i’m okay with the changes i been going through.
it’s funny how 2017 has been showing me a lot.
it’s helping me grow into a better fox.
this is the year of the wake up calls tho.
i hope they get theirs.