Yeast-I-Stat (For Him)

tumblr_ls9gbrSuGe1qg39ewo1_500i am a loaf of fuckin’ bread.
ugh.
so i took another shower earlier.

that would bring it to two.
will we make it three later?
i don’t play.
i wanted to be so fresh and so clean on my way to gnc.
the advice about the probiotics from thad really stuck with me.
before i left,
i did a quick prayer.
i said,
“god…

…please allow me to get these products.
i don’t want to smell like ‘blacklist’ any longer.
and please don’t make me see anyone fine out here.
don’t show out.
this would be the day i meet the wolf of my dreams.
i don’t even want to THINK of entertaining anyone smelling like the little mermaid.
so make everyone ugly and have vaginas.
amen.”

when i got to gnc,
there was a ton of probiotics to choose from.

25 billion.
50 billion.
75 billion.
100 billion.

i was confused.
the wolf working there seemed knowledgeable about it tho.
he told me get the 75 bill and some fiber as well.

tumblr_mxxavzYIMi1rdh4uho5_25050.58

as i was standing at the register,
this vixen walked up to him and said:

“omg is that you smelling like this?
you have the whole store smelling so good?”

um lady,
that was me.
i literally bathed in my prada cologne before i walked out the door.
vex he got the credit.
hmph.
when i got back to my block,
i od on fruits and veggies.
i bought:

apples
bananas
humus
yogurt
oj
greens
coconut juice
pineapple slices

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when i got in,
i immediately took the probiotics,
ate an apple,
and took a nap.
when i got up,
maybe i’m imagining things,
but the smell is completely gone.
the slight itching as well.
i am praying this all works.
i’ll still look for a doctor next week.
tumblr_mua35f71MZ1re6efdo1_250 tumblr_mua35f71MZ1re6efdo2_250mucho thanks to everyone who commented.
will keep everyone posted as this goes on.

lowkey: i am so horny and i want to masturbate.
i said i wouldn’t until this is healed.
ugh.

Author: jamari fox

the fox invited to the blogging table.

6 thoughts on “Yeast-I-Stat (For Him)

  1. I would like to see what your soap bill has been for the past few weeks from all these showers lol. You know I got to add some humor lol. I hope you get better soon. You might meet Mr. Right, and I know you want to be smelling good.

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