like @gayemagazine,
the foxhole has been following this story of tyler,
a young male who was tormented by his family for being gay.
( x see original entry here )
it seems they’ve removed him from the abusive home…
View this post on Instagram
as much as this seems like a victory,
jay left a comment on a past entry about this story that has had me really thinking.
this is what he fonted:
“This is abusive, but clearly everyone begging for CPS to intervene have no experience with what children endure in foster homes, especially feminine black boys. You think foster parents that likely have multiple children to look after and other foster kids that have likely been abused themselves are going to be any safer for him?
So what’s the solution? More of y’all queer and gay men volunteering at schools, becoming foster parents in states that will allow you to do so, and getting involved in Big Brother programs and creating programs where y’all can mentor and at least get these kids away from homes that may not be so accepting even if it’s just for a weekend.
Retweets and calls to CPS where he’ll become a case number no one checks on after they take him out of the home is not going to cut it for him and those in similar situations.”
this is a very valid point that leaves me to wonder:
Did Tyler hop from the frying pan right into the fire?
so what happens next?
is he doomed to a system of more abuse & neglect?
what should have been done to save this boy?
let him stay and hope that someone takes him away?
with this comment,
i don’t feel so good about this outcome.
the public has a habit of hyping shit on social media,
but once the “conclusion” happens,
we move on to the next scandal.
we think we helped but might have made matters worse.
i pray this isn’t the case for tyler.
As long as he’s not placed with an IJF commenter, he’ll be fine.
If he was taken away from the family it is because it needed to happen, it isn’t that easy to take a child away from their parents. The authorities decided what we witnessed was not safe for a child. Hopefully he will get placed with other family members that aren’t terrible people but I really don’t think that him living with the family full time is a good idea.
I’m sorry “Black is beautiful “, but there are many things that can in fact be far worse than what we witnessed, brutality, starvation, torture etc. Unfortunately, we are far too quick to cancel people without really looking at all the nuances of a situation. Was the real issue in Tyler’s’ life how he was being treated or was it the extreme poverty that his family found themselves in. Sometimes its better to apply pressure and incentive to encourage change. I feel that this situation could have been handled differently than taking the kid out of the home. It might have been better to provided the family with access to things that would’ve changed their material condition in addition to counseling and therapy.
You may not be aware but kids usually aren’t removed from a home forever especially if the family wants the kid back. Tyler was removed and will probably be returned to the family once they prove it’s safe for him. The courts want kids to be with with their family.
You are really more worried about his family getting more money than him getting a safe place to live in? You want us to start a gofundme for his parents and then give it to them so “they can get therapy”? I am flabbergasted…
What needs to happen is he needs to be placed with family members that will love him the way he needs to be loved or if all else fails tolerant people looking to adopt.
You know while it’s bad what he’s gone thru the positive side of it Is the exposure that he’s gotten kind of ensures at least for the short term that he’s going to be treated better than most have in foster care. There’s too much attention been given to his situation for him to experience the type of neglect that some people have gotten that gone thru foster care.
The foster home system has a lot of problems. But let’s not demonize the entire system. There are plenty of loving homes and even the crowded ones can be loving too. One issue that many places have a time limit on how long you can at one home, which causes kids to bounce around and around. This is a huge a problem, but I don’t see that happening with Tyler.the court wants kids to be with their family, so Ultimately he will go back home to his family once they prove it’s safe for him. I am sure they will fight for him. Once he is back with his family they will be under a microscope or they could lose all rights to Tyler.
You better believe, considering this case is high profile, he won’t be placed in a homophobic household. His mother and family need sensitivity training before he can go back — I watched the video and it was horrifying. No wonder so many LGBTQIA youth die by suicide. I’m really hoping he never goes back and gets adopted by a more loving family. But perhaps they can help the family change so he is safe there. Let’s hope.
Lets remain positive. Nothing can be worse than what we all witnessed. The ” high profile” nature of this case means there will be many eyes watching where and what happens to this poor child.
There are tolerant , loving families and individuals who will see Tyler for what he is ; A Child in need of love and shelter.
☝🏾☝🏾☝🏾Amen.
Let’s be positive. Let’s send him love. Let’s make sure he thrives.
He is us … we are him.
Yeah when I read the headline and assumed he had been removed from the home, my mind went straight to the comment left last night about the potential abuse in the system for the kid. Just gave me, and a few others, a different perspective.