Posted in A LIL TASTE OF JAMARI, CONCRETE FOREST STATE OF MIND, GIVIN' YOU THAT REAL, THE GREAT WOLF HUNT

Thought Cloud

   Published Date: October 12, 2010  10 Comments on Thought Cloud

Sometimes I wonder:

Why am I doing this?
Why am I writing this blog?

Where am I trying to go?
Am I wasting my time?

I write to put an effect people.
Whether it is good or bad,
I like to share what goes on in my mind.

I read these other blogs and some truly disgust me.
I’ll talk about this one I read JUST the other day on another date and time.

I want to be some kind of inspiration.
I want my legacy as Jamari Fox to put a dent in the blog-sphere.
I know there are people like me who think and feel the same way I do.

Even though I am anonymous,
I take you inside me.

[But sometimes it gets really hard.]

Will I meet the baller of my dreams?
Will I finally find that Wolf that is for me?
Will there be Chapter 2, 3, 4, or 5 of “Inside Jamari Fox”?
Will I fit comfortably into my career?
You know… that kind of stuff…

That is the scary thing about the future.
You just do not know and it makes you scared.
Scared to even take a risk because you do not want to feel like you are wasting your time.

… but when I open my emails,
and see messages from Foxes and Wolves that I have inspired,
letting me know that they feel me and I have effected them,
that makes me keep going.

 

I know I cannot give up because I have come too far down the road to turn back.

So I hope as I go through my different phases,
from whore to male Oprah to questioning existence,
that you learn something from me and I at least touch that place in your heart….or your dick (what?)

We gon’ make it.

10 thoughts on “Thought Cloud”

  1. I discovered your blog site on google and check a few of your early posts. Continue to keep up the very good operate. I just additional up your RSS feed to my MSN News Reader. Seeking forward to reading more from you later on!?

  2. Jamari! This post reminds me of the song, “Is My Living In Vain”, I’m not released to say much, but do all the good you can for as long as you can, for as many as you can…. I’m headed to bed, will come back when I feel I have something truly encouraging to say. Grace & Peace

  3. and you are right there are some disgusting bloggers out there and all are not right wing radical or 7th day Adventist hiding behind the bible. I find it curious one such has stopped writing, bragging about his young neighbor, trainees and his teenage crew… hmmmm did the Eddie Long scandal hit too close to home ?

    1. I know EXACTLY who you’re talking about too! I read his blog like… is this for real? What do these boys see in you? Maybe it’s just me…

    2. I also know exactly who you’re talking about. For the longest, I thought I was the only one who was kind of giving a side eye to that whole situation.

  4. no not confused at all and this thought came to mind…..

    What inspires me most about the hours before night turns into day is that they can, if you allow them, remind you that everything that was remains in the darkness of the past, while all things possible lie ahead in the dawn of the new day.

  5. This post makes me smile. It is so healthy to pick at your brain like this! It makes no sense a lot of times and the questions can never really be answered but honey you’d be surprised how much time they can kill just thinking about what COULD be. Yes, humans, we find some very odd ways of entertaining ourselves….BRAIN EXERCISES!

    1. I wrote it and I was like, “my readers are going to confused”. lol

      I wrote it to vent. This season for Jamari Fox is kind of a sad one. Nothing big is really going down. I have been blessed. I am just yearning for something big…

      “Story of my life
      Searching for the right
      But it keeps avoiding me
      Sorrow in my soul
      Cause it seems that wrong
      Really loves my company” – Rihanna, Unfaithful

  6. Let your mind wonder as everyday is a story to tell. What are u thinking? What do u want to hear? I would like to know. Time is never wasted it moves on every sec every min. What are your plans for today?

    1. I am think a bunch of things. Everything is all so cloudy and I have a bunch of things going through in my mind. These last few weeks have been like that for me.

      I want to hear everything will be okay. I want to hear I am on the right path. I want to hear I will find love. I want to hear I am desirable. I want to hear nothing.

      My plans are to get through the day. Those are BIG plans lol

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