The Foxhole’s Help on “Forgiveness”

issue_45_a_wie_oprah_hoprah is,
like,
my spiritual auntie.
i would love to meet her one day.
i go to her when i need some kind of spiritual enlightenment.
well i saw this video on “forgiveness”,
but i didn’t understand it.
i was hoping the foxhole could help me…

Screen Shot 2015-12-05 at 4.57.34 PM

um…
help.
what does she mean by:

“Forgiveness is giving up the hope that the past could be any different”?

how do you apply it to your life?
i really want to understand what she means.

Author: jamari fox

the fox invited to the blogging table.

13 thoughts on “The Foxhole’s Help on “Forgiveness”

  1. Great lesson.
    What I got from it was that whenever someone betrays, hurts us, etc. we normally hold a grudge against them or have ill feelings towards them. She’s saying LET GO of the HOPE that things would have turn out different. Let go of the fantasies, what ifs, and shoulda coulda wouldas. Accept that it happened the way it did and move on.

  2. It’s a means to stay in the present without reliving past traumatic experiences hoping that it could be something different. Like she said, it has happened, but now how do I evolve and learn from these experiences. As our bodies evolve, so should our way of thinking.

  3. This is great advice she gave, it’s something my mom would and still tells us. When you forgive someone you are letting go of all that drama and all those feelings for whatever the action was that happend.

    The worst thing someone can do is say they forgive someone and then the next time that person messes up or you get into an argument with that person you’re bringing up those feelings and emotions of the past action that you claimed you “forgave” then for.

    You can’t move forward with always thinking “well things would’ve been different if this didn’t happen or I could’ve been this or that” that’s you stayingstuck in the past and not moving forward.

  4. ^”The worst thing someone can do is say they forgive someone and then the next time that person messes up or you get into an argument with that person youโ€™re bringing up those feelings and emotions of the past action that you claimed you โ€œforgaveโ€ then for.”

    this gave me chills because i do this.
    i want to stop it.
    so i forgive them and wipe the slate clean?

    1. Simply yes, (I’m not saying I always do this lol)

      Like she said you’re not accepting the ok from the situation, you’re understanding it happend and choosing to move on. Hell if you don’t want to move on you just don’t want to move on. It could take you awhile to truly forgive some one it doesn’t just happen overnight or in a shorten timeframe for most.

      Try looking at it with the shoe on the other foot. If you did something wrong to someone you would want them to forgive you and not constantly throw it back in your face or guilt you. Of course there are varying degrees of situations but it takes a really wise and complete person to be able to truly let of pettiness and hurt.

      It’s like I said before you can be hurt and mad but eventually that person that you are hurt and mad at will be sleeping at night no problem. You’ll going to be the one with that anger and resentment keep you up and hold you back.

      1. ^that was the “AHA” moment Oprah talks about.
        i got it reading this mikey.
        the part you said about someone throwing it back in my face was what really made it all come together.
        thank you and everyone who answered!

    2. I have a tendency to tread VERY carefully with people who betray/burn me. Depending on the severity of the situation/scenario, I will leave them alone or keep them at arms length. If someone that you care for hurts you in a bad way, the trust is no longer there. You can forgive them and move on without them, but the majority of the time (especially for me) it gets thrown in your face when you see them and they want to know why you don’t want to deal/associate with them any longer.

      1. “You can forgive them and move on without them”

        Love this ๐Ÿ‘†๐Ÿพ

        I think people automatically assume that forgiving someone means they have to stay in your life. That’s not always the case you can let go of hurt move on all whole chucking them the deuces โœŒ๐Ÿฟ๏ธ

  5. I would like to take it a step further, if I may. We are human. We are NOT perfect. We should always be open to change. With that being said, you don’t forgive and forget. The only entity capable of that is GOD (in whatever incarnation works best for you). Experience is a great teacher. There will be those that come into your life simply for your evolution and development. Although it is easier said than done, you should take the positives of your interaction with a person and move on with your life. Learn your lesson without hating the teacher. I read a quote years ago: “Hatred is like taking poison and expecting the other person to die.” Oftentimes, we hold grudges against people who forgot about us after they used us and moved on. Dwelling on negative experiences from the past impedes you from appreciating the positives in your present and future. But don’t forget……never forget! You were taught that lesson for a reason; don’t force the universe to teach you again.

    1. This is everything! Literally everything. “Learn your lesson without hating the teacher” is so powerful.

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