I feel un-satisfied.
And because of that today, I feel like I want attention.
I guess one can say I am feeling like a brat.
I figured write out my feelings and maybe someone out there could relate…
… or I just talked to myself and, yeah.
Janet Jackson’s “The Velvet Rope” just went off…
I swear she is speaking my life in that album…
and now Frank Ocean’s mixtape playing…
Listening to this music has got me feeling like I want more.
Don’t get me wrong, I am blessed.
Things are moving in a positive pace.
About to pay off some bills that have bogged me down for over two years.
I am grateful to have a job that keeps a roof over my head.
I have my site and you guys who check me out every day.
But, my soul feels empty.
I feel like I am missing something…
Maybe I need an adventure.
Maybe I need a man.
Although as of late, the yearning for a man is not my main concern.
One things for certain, I am feeling…. “here”.
Now “here” probably makes me sound crazy, but let me explain.
When I say “here”, I mean I am here in this moment but I feel like I have a weight on me.
I don’t know what direction to go in.
I’m just “here”.
I want to be over “there”… but I don’ t know how to get there.
I’d much RATHER b laying on a yacht with my man steering the shit.
Making sure he doesn’t crash and sink the shit, but he knows what he is doing.
I’m just laying out with a glass in one hand and a big “FUCK YOU” to all those who doubted me in another.
I’d rather be there.
But, I guess I need to find myself here before I can get there.
But why does here feel so lonely?
And why does here feel so confusing?
I don’t know anymore.
Let’s hope I can move on from here soon….
… because I been here for a while and I am ready to pack up and move on.