The Art of The Hook Up

HOOKUPhook up.
you know how it goes.
this is to piggy back off that entry last night.
you meet a “name” on a chat site.
you know the type.
one of the many “i’m a WOLF” screen names.
he has a body shot as his default.
the rest of his pictures are hidden.
so it goes something like this…

“sup” – him

“nada sup with you pa?” – you

“chillin” – him

“what u lookin 4?” – you

“u unlock” – him

that body pic already has you open,
so you unlock all your pictures.
you even send him your social security number.
then there is that long ass pause.
its like you at a temp agency looking for a job.
you know there are a ton of applicants ahead of you.
so sweat starts to form on the top of your head.
you start to judge yourself.

“he must think i’m ugly”
“my body isn’t like his”
“i think i’m masculine… i think”

an hour or two goes by.
when you think all is lost,
and go eat the last ben and jerrys,
you see the alert he sent you a message.
“ private pictures unlocked”.
tumblr_lqut2bXAt01qa56two1_500you nearly tinkled in your pants.
when go to see his pictures….
that pineapple is fione.
i mean he more than fione.
he “extravagant”.
he “monumental”.
he “the cats-fuckin-meow”.
he lives up to name “bksexytopwantsexybottom2seewhatsup”.
so are ready to give the draws.
how about tonight?
well okay then!

in some twist of fate,
and because of that quarter you gave the homeless man last week,
god decides to let this person be everything he claimed he was.
he is even finer in person.
he comes to your crib at 1am looking like a bag of money.
WITH the combination to the safe.
you already decided you are going to fuck him.
he pretty much decided for you.
so you do the usual “we gonna fuck” song and dance.
smoke some weed and put on a movie you both not watching.
in an hour,
maybe half and hour,
this nigga is already deep inside your guts.

tumblr_mz1ejomV8N1rlkzppo1_250tumblr_mz1ejomV8N1rlkzppo2_250he hitting spots you didn’t know you had.
you done called for:


he cums,
says you got good ass,
and asks if he can see you again.
of course dumb ass.
what you think?

by this time,
you are already turned out.
good dick from someone you are really attracted to can do that.
you text him the next day because you think you got his ass:

“how are you pa?” – you

40 minutes goes by

“good” – him

uh oh.
something is wrong!

mission is failing!
so you send him this:

“that dick was so good
i’m still thinking about it…” – you

2 minutes goes by this time:

“oh yeah?” – him

so you start to engage him in sexual dialogue.
he texts back faster than the flash.

“i want den cheeks again” – him

“i want that dick again” – you

“u busy tonight?” – him

“naw” – you

so you invite him over again and guess what?
he fucks you completely and utterly stupid again.
tumblr_n0tmu7LK8o1rpvmgho1_250since you know how the stroke game is,
as he fucks you,
you fuck him the fuck back.
only this time,
after he cums,
he stays over and cuddles with you.
all night you are in his arms.
it feels good.
cuddling is the movement.
it feels like you about to get a boyfriend out here.
he is about to ignore the fuck out of your life.
when you signed on the sex site,
he was already on as well.
you sent him a message on his profile,
because maybe his phone is not receiving your texts,
and you get no response.
he did read it tho.
you find out that he has a girlfriend,
two kids,
and he fucks ass when he gets bored of pussy.

Glee1yeah baby…
mission failed.
try again.
keep on fuckin’ until something sticks!

this is the “hook up” story for us.
this is the story of many.
this is my story.
this is your story.
you can change the characters,
but the outcome is always the same when you get on a chat site.
this is what happens when you sign on to look for a man.
we give pieces of ourselves to people who simply don’t deserve it.
not fine,
kinda fine,
not at all fine…
we are all lonely and looking for something.
so how do we fix it?
can we fix it?
  do we just keeping on “fuckin until something sticks”?
and what happens…

When we are all “fucked out”?

BTW: i’m tired of that fuckin’ story.
i want another story.

Author: jamari fox

the fox invited to the blogging table.

21 thoughts on “The Art of The Hook Up”

  1. I’m not that much of an expert on that experience, but I think if one makes sexual compatibility a lower priority when it come to relationships, one is less likely to get into those situations. Otherwise, take the sex at face value: don’t count on it evolving into anything.

    1. ^i agree.

      everyone has experienced something like this.
      what i wrote was the dramatic case.
      the outcome is still the same.
      we are all lookin’ for someone to stick.

      the muscle heads have it worst.
      they literally have to perfect.
      if they don’t live up to the “fantasy”,
      and hide their flaws,
      they end up being yesterday’s news.

      why is there so many “single” attentionistos?

  2. First of all why would anyone want a relationship from a hook up website/app? I don’t think anyone know the definition of a hook up.

    1. ^but thats the issue.
      many people are pretending to want a hook up,
      but end up wanting to be with the person.
      especially if the person is someone we are attracted too.
      its not like we have the option like the vixens.
      they can get hit on in the streets.
      we have to search high and low.
      we end up on chat sites and…

      1. But that the problem too. While half are looking for a relationship in the very wrong place from the start, others are just looking to hit it then quit it.

  3. My perception of online dating in the life has always been that it is a one way street, which will lead a person to a dead end, and the cycle continues repeatedly until one gets tired. I always tell people you get what you put out. If you meet a man and the first conversation you have with him is about sex, do net expect it to go past there. In the straight world, men do not respect women who give it up at the drop of a dime, and the same goes with men in the life. Those who take things slow and treat their potential partner with a long handled spoon usually get a feeling of what the person is truly about, and they may even get respect from them as well. I live by this, and for a Wolf, I am very selective about who I sleep with. I’m a very sexual person, but getting this dick ain’t a walk through the park, ask my ex’s lol. As I’ve said over and over, it starts with knowing your worth. I’m very valuable and I have a lot to offer to either gender, it’s not even a question. I won’t go in depth with it, I’ll keep it short and simple. I know what I am, I know what I want, and I know where I want to go in life. I don’t want to let people in my life who are not worth my time and energy.

    1. ^okay but what about those people who wait?
      is he out there fuckin’ up a storm while you have him on hold?
      he could be logged onto a chat site while you are waiting.
      once he beats the cheeks,
      its a toss up if he will stick around.

      1. You don’t tell him that he is waiting. After a certain time and he’s not getting any, he’s going to stop talking to you anyway. His motives will become clear. It is tough for me to really explain it because as a Wolf, I’m on the favorable side. Foxes don’t dog out Wolves like Wolves dog out Foxes. Find me a Wolf who feels Foxes use him for his dick and I’ll show you a liar.

  4. so true hookups are old…i love this entry!!! and it’s not just in the gay world the str8s too that’s the world we live in 2014 it’s not based on longevity anymore everything is just here and now and about hookups…I’m trying something new now with someone but he’s not getting any from me for awhile…i need to see if this is legit so i won’t get hurt…it’s a new age time to demand more…can’t keep doing the same ish and expecting a different outcome…

    1. ^one of the reasons i don’t have any chat sites.
      i’m over that.
      it got so bad,
      that i did an experiment.
      i put up a pic of my face.
      20 messages in 10 minutes.
      all they wanted was head or to fuck.
      the bottoms were trying to cuff me.
      i was even rude as a test and a few still hit me up.
      this one wanted to come through and fuck before work.
      i’m sooo good.

      i’m not with that life.
      i want something real.
      i want friends.
      i want to date and go out.
      am i asking for a lot?

  5. I can relate to the waiting game on these apps that stated above its annoying that’s why i deleted them (well it) . It’s hard not to get into sexual convo when you’re waiting for the one and just won’t talk to no anybody.

    When I was one jackd’ I would get hit up all the time by guys that were no where near what I wanted and I would ignore them to dead. But when that one sexy as hell wolf would hit me up I would jump on it. In this life I’m learning that always taking it slow or by ear didn’t always work to the best outcome.

    1. Well that’s because you aren’t handling taking it slow properly man. There is nothing wrong with talking about sex, but when you meet someone one on the first night and the topic comes up then it’s a problem, and at the same time you are claiming you want something serious. Everybody is fast, that’s the issue here. Foxes are fast just like Wolves at times, and it’s time you all admit that. Y’all see his muscular body and imagine being banged out by him every way possible so you invite him over. If you are really serious, then you should date the dude, and the first date shouldn’t be to his house or yours, as a matter of fact, none of the first five to ten dates shouldn’t be to anyone’s house. That’s going to lead to nothing but sex. People set their own selves up.

  6. This dialogue is both interesting and depressing. Most of us in the lifestyle want to love and be loved but we simple go about it in the wrong way. We think that if we are overly sexual and rude that ole dude will stay; that ain’t the case.

    An in depth discussion surrounding this issue is long overdue. The proliferation of hookup sites have removed the personal element and therefore relegated us to seek personality from a chiseled, headless torso or a bare ass.

  7. I agree with much of what has been said here. My issue is this: if you are a down low/discreet man, how do you meet someone to date? I live in a small, southern city and if I go to a gay bar or club my whole family and all my friends would know by the next day. Sometimes I feel trapped because I do not do hookups but I feel the only way to connect with other guys is through the online dating thing. I have actually meet two or three decent dudes up there that I converse with on the regular, but overall your options are limited, especially depending on where you live. I may have had a dude hit on me once or twice in public and even then I wasn’t sure if he was hitting on me or not. Dudes just do not put themselves out there where I’m from. The internet is almost like a crutch or safety net.

    1. I know you are not the only one who feels this way. If you are looking for someone genuine, online may not be the place to look, and I don’t know really know where to tell you to look to be honest man. I read some of those profiles that guy posted and I had my screw face on the whole time. Everyone wants sex from what I could see. People showcasing their bodies in hopes to lure another man. Nah, can’t and won’t do it.

  8. I feel like I’ve come full circle.

    I’m finally the one fucking with no feelings involved whatsoever.

    I’m the one ignoring texts until I want the ass again and I come up with some stupid excuse like I forgot to respond or got a new phone. Lol

    Sorry but you can’t expect the same attention once you’ve given up the ass. You’re no longer unattainable booty. You’ve been conquered lol

    1. But yeah there’s a certain sense of empowerment when you’re not the one catching feelings or acting on emotions

  9. see none of that would phase me one bit…’cause I’m not lookin’ for a relationship. As Christina Aguilera’s song says….Let me get mine, you get yours! Holla!

If you wouldn't say it on live TV with all your family and friends watching, without getting canceled or locked up, don't say it on here. Stay on topic, no SPAM, and keep it respectful. Thanks!

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