you know how it goes.
this is to piggy back off that entry last night.
you meet a “name” on a chat site.
you know the type.
one of the many “i’m a WOLF” screen names.
he has a body shot as his default.
the rest of his pictures are hidden.
so it goes something like this…
“sup” – him
“nada sup with you pa?” – you
“chillin” – him
“what u lookin 4?” – you
“u unlock” – him
that body pic already has you open,
so you unlock all your pictures.
you even send him your social security number.
then there is that long ass pause.
its like you at a temp agency looking for a job.
you know there are a ton of applicants ahead of you.
so sweat starts to form on the top of your head.
you start to judge yourself.
“he must think i’m ugly”
“my body isn’t like his”
“i think i’m masculine… i think”
an hour or two goes by.
when you think all is lost,
and go eat the last ben and jerrys,
you see the alert he sent you a message.
“ private pictures unlocked”.
you nearly tinkled in your pants.
when go to see his pictures….
that pineapple is fione.
i mean he more than fione.
he “the cats-fuckin-meow”.
he lives up to name “bksexytopwantsexybottom2seewhatsup”.
so are ready to give the draws.
how about tonight?
well okay then!
in some twist of fate,
and because of that quarter you gave the homeless man last week,
god decides to let this person be everything he claimed he was.
he is even finer in person.
he comes to your crib at 1am looking like a bag of money.
WITH the combination to the safe.
you already decided you are going to fuck him.
he pretty much decided for you.
so you do the usual “we gonna fuck” song and dance.
smoke some weed and put on a movie you both not watching.
in an hour,
maybe half and hour,
this nigga is already deep inside your guts.
says you got good ass,
and asks if he can see you again.
of course dumb ass.
what you think?
by this time,
you are already turned out.
good dick from someone you are really attracted to can do that.
you text him the next day because you think you got his ass:
“how are you pa?” – you
40 minutes goes by
“good” – him
something is wrong!
mission is failing!
so you send him this:
“that dick was so good
i’m still thinking about it…” – you
2 minutes goes by this time:
“oh yeah?” – him
so you start to engage him in sexual dialogue.
he texts back faster than the flash.
“i want den cheeks again” – him
“i want that dick again” – you
“u busy tonight?” – him
“naw” – you
so you invite him over again and guess what?
he fucks you completely and utterly stupid again.
since you know how the stroke game is,
as he fucks you,
you fuck him the fuck back.
only this time,
after he cums,
he stays over and cuddles with you.
all night you are in his arms.
it feels good.
cuddling is the movement.
it feels like you about to get a boyfriend out here.
he is about to ignore the fuck out of your life.
when you signed on the sex site,
he was already on as well.
you sent him a message on his profile,
because maybe his phone is not receiving your texts,
and you get no response.
he did read it tho.
you find out that he has a girlfriend,
and he fucks ass when he gets bored of pussy.
this is the “hook up” story for us.
this is the story of many.
this is my story.
this is your story.
you can change the characters,
but the outcome is always the same when you get on a chat site.
this is what happens when you sign on to look for a man.
we give pieces of ourselves to people who simply don’t deserve it.
not at all fine…
we are all lonely and looking for something.
so how do we fix it?
can we fix it?
do we just keeping on “fuckin until something sticks”?
and what happens…
When we are all “fucked out”?
BTW: i’m tired of that fuckin’ story.
i want another story.