so today was an off day.
i don’t even know where the day went to be totally honest.
i know i cleaned up,
but the rest of it was a blur.
i felt weird.
like tense about something.
i don’t know what,
but it could do with thinking about some personal issues,
how im gonna pay some bills,
and trying to figure out things within my life that are bugging me.
i caught up on queen latifah’s talk show and she had a segment on an app called “stress check”.
you download it to your phone,
put your finger to your camera lens,
and it can check your stress level and give you an accurate reading.
well you know i like to try some new shit out.
this is what it told me just 10 minutes ago…
Continue reading “Stress, Stress, Go Away (Don’t Cum Again Another Day)” →

ive been feeling depressed.
masturbated.
temporary relief.
i have so much on my mind.
i’m having those nightmares again.
i also had to low key cut some people off.
life has turned very weird for me.
i wish i could afford a spa appointment.
right now that isn’t even in the cards at all.
so i thought to myself:

“why not bring the spa to my crib?”

hmm…

Continue reading “Well Don’t Just Stand There! Come Over Here and Wash My Back!” →

we haven’t done one of these in a while…

i am a huge,
no gigantic,
music junkie.
i’m starting to think music is my addiction.
when i’m going through it,
i run to good music.
you’ll know i’m sad or stressed if i’m playing this…

Continue reading “FOR THE RECORD: (11)” →

i remember him looking like this:

he wasn’t a “looker”,
but he was healthy at least.
now…

Continue reading “Former All Star Steve Francis…… What Happened Dude???” →

life is a series of roads, mountains, peaks, and valleys.
sometimes thunderstorms, earthquakes, volcanoes, and darkness.
many of us are not equipped to handle the trials of life.
some of us see the mountain and say, “fuck that bulllllllshit“.
some think because they can’t afford it like everyone else, they can’t do it.
others will jump through the fire and dance within the flames.
those “others” are the ones that we secretly admire.
they go for theirs and don’t give a damn about anything or anyone else.
but, how do they get to that point?
they could have been stagnant,
but they kept going even when things seemed dark and doomed.
i started to wonder…

are you a fighter?

Continue reading “I’m Taking This Beatin’ But I Hope It Brings Pleasure One Day” →

do you know when something is over?
are you capable of letting go?
or, are you a glutton for punishment?
do you like the abuse?
is your self worth so low that you will take whatever without realizing you deserve something better?

sometimes we want to return to something in the past.
something that feels comfortable.
maybe even try again because it looked like it has changed.
desperate.
you thought it was a act of god disguised as a blessing.
… but secretly, it was a nicely wrapped lesson.
i learned my lesson…

Continue reading “Ya’ll Seriously Do Not Deserve Me So I’m Done!” →