So yestersday…

I was having another interesting conversation with Mister J through font. He was having one of his usual bad days and needed some text therapy from me.

“Where are you?” – He asked.
“Work, why wassup?”
“I’m having a bad day and I need someone to talk too.”

Okay. I’m never one to turn down a friend in need so I started to font with him. He went on about how he is lonely, he gave some female his info and she never hit him back after a week, and how he feels like no one cares about him.

“Are you saying I don’t care? Because I can go back to doing my paperwork.” I said, wondering where this was going.
“You don’t love me nigga PAUSE.”
“Yeah I actually hate you. You cracked the code.”
“Well you can’t hate me because you never chilled with me. Back then, I thought you were stuck up, cocky, and gay.”

What?
So I had to go in…because he probably thought I wouldn’t….

“Funny, I thought you were stuck up, gay, a man whore, ass kisser, and just straight up unfriendly.”

“You pre-judged me before you got to know me. That is a hate crime.”

Is he serious with that? Come on dude… He is obviously smoking crack or off his meds.

So I guess what I said affected him because a barrage of sad smiley faces came my way as the conversation went on. I obviously struck some nerve when I replied what I did.

So as the self help convo went on, I started finding myself getting bored. I was in a three way text conversation with him and this dude I met off an online site who wanted to taste the goodies. I was getting wrapped up in the better convo when I saw….

“I think Ima just end it all. Ima put this noose around my neck and jump”

…With a crying smiley next to it.

I rolled my eyes HARD. I felt it was an attention getting ploy. I was getting turned on by ol dude and my responses to Mister J were turning out very one wordish.

“Don’t do nothing stupid or I’m going to come over there and punch you in the mouth.” – I replied, tryna see where this was about to go.

I got no response. I called when I left work and still no response. I called and texted when I got in the house and still silent. I went and took a nap because I was frustrated with him at that point. Everyday he is having an emotional breakdown and as much as I give him proper Fox knowledge, he is still acting like he is a giant baby.

He texted me at 11 something with:

“I was having a bad day and needed some time. I’m just going through some issues.”
“Well I’m glad you are alive but you pissed me the fuck off. I’m going to bed.”

I got a reply:

“Night”

… A few minutes later.

He needs to be put on time out. I will not be speaking to him for a while. He let me see that he needs attention at all times and is very dependent. I would not have thought that was the inner turmoil he was facing from the facade he put up back in the day.

I couldn’t date his ass, I’m sorry.

Fuck him, yeah we can get it in. But DATE?

U must be crazy.

Brought To U By The Foxberry

So I have been spending some time with a particular friend. One of which is more, shall we say, “open” than the rest of my usual Fox trot posse. I am starting to mingle more within this life (than my straight friends) and picking and choosing people to spend that time with. You’ll know if you are a winner if we chill again.

It started yesterday. A friend of mine (female) wated to go out on a date. I was at Open’s crib, in the back in his bedroom, talking to her on the phone and trying to find a good restaurant online. Open and his boy left and went to go get something to eat.

When they returned, I heard an array of voices laughing and cracking up. I knew the two voices already but once was much deeper than the others. Much, much, much deeper.

So I go get my coat and walk into the living room to leave and there was this random thick dude smiling in my face, as well as their smiling faces. He was okay cute. Nice. Smile. Wearing a fleece and a trucker hat. I would say a caramel complected dude. Whatever.

“Where you going Jamari?” Open asked, looking at his cell phone.
“On a date.” I replied, trying to figure out who this random negro was, sitting on the couch next to Open.
“Oh, you going to go get some dick?” Open asks, smiling.

I was a little thrown off because Open is a lot more bolder than I am + he said it in front of some strange dude sitting on his couch!!!

“Naw. I’m going on a date….. with a girl.” I replied, “Not really what I am looking for but hey, it’s a free meal.”

They all laughed and I bounced.

Random Thick Dude could not get enough of eye fucking me on that couch. As I was speaking to Open, his whole mouth was open. Grinning and giggling at me. I even caught him trying to head nod me when we locked eye contact.

So when I got home to my crib from my date, I called Open to find out what was the scoop. Apparently, dude was at the corner store and when Open walked in, he said “Damn”. Open kinda has a fat ol sweet and sour ass and it attracts a lot of pests. Open’s friend heard him say “Damn” and they both plotted that dude might get down. Not like dude wasn’t staring and smiling and all that. Random Thick Dude wanted to chill and all that so he went and bought some liquor and went back to Open’s crib. After I left, they were talking and drinking. Random Thick Dude is married with 2 kids, works construction up the street, and was horny and wanted to open Open. He also wanted to have a three some with Open and his boy – and wanted me to come back so it could be a foursome (Hecky Naw!).

He pulled his dick out in the living room and said he was horny after a couple of drinks. Open said he had a big ass dick that he wanted to test drive. Open took him to his room and sucked on it while his boy watched, but did nothing and BAM – that was their night. Open wanted to fuck him but he did not do the proper cleaning requirements that would allow that big ass dick to formally meet his big ass.

All this time I am out having dinner and a movie with a beautiful young lady (who paid for everything) LOL.

Crazy huh?

Later Foxes

Brought To You By The Foxberry