Stay Strong, Jamari


i haven’t felt this way,
like,
in ever.
it feels good to be in control of my narrative.
to be comfortable in my fur.
i’ve always been too excited when a wolf comes into my life.
when it doesn’t work out,
or i misconstrued what the motives are,
i’m pulled down into the deep depths of depression.
now…
not so much.
so i met up with a wolf on friday…

i don’t know what the title was.
date or just to chill.
i wasn’t expecting anything but a good time tbh.

movies
dinner

my goal was to be good company.
he paid for everything.
we ended up having a great time.

before,
i would have been wondering what he thought of me.
i did it with past wolves before him.
my insecurities use to be off the charts.
i didn’t particularly care this go round.
weirdly enough,
he is definitely “the fantasy”.
ย fine.
bawdy was insane.
handsome.
for some odd reason,
none of that mattered to me.

All that means shit if you gonna treat me like trash

dead ass.
i don’t want anymore toxic situations.
my life is peaceful and i’ve cut off all negativity by the roots.
so if he never wants to see me again,
i’ll be okay.
i don’t base who i am on someone else any longer.
i am perfectly fine alone.
plus,
there is more where he came from.

He does tho

he does want to see me again.
i’ll let him.
there is more i want to experience with him.
if anything happens,
i won’t be opposed to it.
right now tho,
i’m chill.

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wow.
points for me.

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Author: jamari fox

the fox invited to the blogging table.

12 thoughts on “Stay Strong, Jamari

  1. I’m glad for you! But I will say this.

    Don’t let past experiences harden your heart to the point that a good man comes along that he’s unable to soften it. Let it flow, be open, and don’t make him pay for the wolves that came and went. You have so much going on and going for you in your life. Enjoy the time spent.

    We need more description of the bawdy tho. Lol

  2. Oh I’m so happy for you!!! I’m glad you met someone and enjoyed the time y’all had. Like you said, if this was just a one time thing, then so be it. There’s more opportunities for you to met someone else and being single is not the end of the world. Enjoy the ride and where it takes you. Congrats again.

  3. Happy you’re getting out there, I think you’re in the right mindset. You’re positive but not too eager, just remain chill and try not to overthink it too much. Take it as it comes.

  4. Sometimes you have to get to that point to find yourself really. I found myself more annoyed by going on a date than staying in and editing videos/reading/watching tv.

  5. Stay guarded. Gay men are vile evil creatures that only live for the moment and only care about sex and Beyonce’s lace front!!!

    But…. ๐Ÿค—

    Seriously, it’s exciting isn’t it? To have a guy invested in you. It makes you feel warm inside. You’re that one star that’s floating in space and you find another light that is within your orbit. He treats you like a delicate flower, the first blossom of a distant Spring. It’s kinda cute.

    I’m talking sappy again so in other words…enjoy yourself and have fun. In fact, have as many good memories as possible… tomorrow isn’t promised to any of us. The harder a man’s heart, the heavier his burdens . Enjoy! ๐Ÿ˜ƒ

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