sometimes, you just gotta turn yourself “off”…

I walked out from my bedroom into my living room and the writing was on the wall.
no seriously,
Mi had taken a permanent marker and written nasty messages all over my walls.
How she got into my apartment was a mystery to me.
I know she gave back all her keys to me,
but did she make a spare?

I felt extremely horny for him.
I haven’t thought about him in quite a while.
Ever since he left me alone to tend to his relationship,
I decided it was best for me to move on.
For whatever reason,
the thought of him woke me up outta my sleep.
I felt this strong sexual energy take over me that I could not ignore.
At 430am,
I’m jacking myself off stupid with thoughts of him inside me.

i did not sleep last night.
i was having nightmares and filled with anxiety.
before i went to bed,
i was reading arguments about the jab from both sides.
i was wrapped up in natural happiness i never felt before a few weeks ago.
i had to wake up early to call unemployment today,
but of course,
i got the runaround and drop from them.

i decided to do a full mental reset.
i put my phone on airplane,
took off my apple watch,
and took my ass back to bed.
no cap,
but i slept the majority of the day.
i’m literally waking up to actually start my day.
weirdly enough,
i got the rest that i should’ve gotten last night.
i can kinda remember my daydreams but they weren’t scary or intimidating.

I feel rested and feeling that serotonin.

when your electronic devices are acting up,
simply turning them off and on usually fixes most issues.
when you’re feeling stressed and over it all,
turning yourself “off” so you can recalibrate your mind,
and soul does the same too.

lowkey: i might do it tomorrow too.
i will do it until i feel back to feeling happy again.
this mentally,
and spiritually draining climate is determined to drive us all crazy it seems.

Author: jamari fox

the fox invited to the blogging table.

3 thoughts on “sometimes, you just gotta turn yourself “off”…”

  1. Im glad you are taking time for yourself& getting better. Everybody deserves/needs a mental break/rest.

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