Is it wrong to say I’ve been really going through it?
between the depression and the anxiety,
i don’t know how i‘ve been making it through.
i woke up today legit crying my ass off.
it has been better than my usual waking up filled with anxiety.
this did start around the time the mercury retrograde reared its ugly head,
but i think i’ve hit the pandemic wall…
i feel like one of the celebs who is secretly suffering.
they put on a smiley face for the world,
take good pics…
…but they are contemplating their life and worth behind closed doors.
i’m not saying i’m a celeb,
but i do have a platform that i make sure to keep up with.
i have no energy to give anything.
it’s like nothing makes me happy anymore.
i don’t watch tv or keep up with new music.
i’m even starting to drift away from playing video games as much.
Some days i wake up and i feel productive.
Some days i wake up and i have no energy.
the foxhole can tell at times when i’m present and i’m feeling low.
it’s like there are two sides in this weird matrix we’re all in.
on one side,
folks are following panorama rules and doing their best to stop the spread.
others are traveling and partying like it’s 2019.
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What reality am I in right now?
i might be in the wrong matrix.
crime has shot up in my neighborhood.
someone is always getting robbed since there is no money.
i miss being a human and living a normal life.
what is normal anymore?
i keep asking myself:
How will this affect us when this is all over?
i think it’s not gonna be all that great.
lowkey: i finished my media kit so there’s that.