hard to get.
it’s when someone has you chasing them for the golden carrot they are dangling.
they can sense you’re really interested so it can be a form of manipulation.
those same tactics can be used in certain circles on a platonic level.
The nerd wants to fit in with the popular kids so they make him/her prove their worth.
if you have to overly prove yourself for anything,
it doesn’t actually work out in the way you’d imagine.
i saw a saying that blew my top earlier.
“Those who play hard to get soon become difficult to want.”
every single person that has played hard to get with you and me wasn’t actually worth it.
there are some wolves i was soooooooo delusional about.
i thought being ghosted and treated unfairly was “love”.
i made excuse for that behavior because i wanted to give someone a chance.
i had to realize my grandmother used those same tactics to abuse me.
it was a familiar language i was comfortable with.
one thing i’ve learned:
Anyone that I ever had to put in a shit amount of effort for,
while they played hard to get,
often returned the favor with half (or none) of the effort I gave them.
it was the males that their energy was open,
they made me feel comfortable,
they didn’t purposely ignore texts and calls,
and i didn’t feel anxiety or the need to “be someone they’d like“,
those were always the ones who were amazing to me.
even if it didn’t work out,
i didn’t feel like i was doing them a favor by being attracted to them.
you know those types.
we get caught up in trying to impress people we really like,
while they make us “work for it“.
i’m not going above and beyond for his attraction or friendship,
only to be met with a cold shoulder.
folks love to use the “hard to get” tactic because it makes them look desirable.
they ignore calls and texts because it leaves you yearning.
they construct this mysterious image to have you fantasizing about them.
everyone i’ve noticed that played that “hard to get” role is:
Loves to control people
Has tremendous walls up
Horrible in bed
Terrible at personal relationships
Weren’t interested in me at all
…and if they were interested me,
they wouldn’t put me through stress and anxiety just to be in their lives.
it gives psychopath.
i don’t do that to people i’m really into or want to know so…
Why would I allow someone to do that to me?
lowkey: this is why i don’t chase people anymore.
if i have to chase someone,
they’re probably wack af.
they will give half or a quarter of the effort back.
Those who are really into someone usually don’t play hard to get.
They take the “hard” out the phrase.