oh, you thought the road to success was gonna be a simple one?

shit happens.
life is not always meant to be a perfect road.
we look at others traveling along side us,
and although their journey’s appear to be easier in our front and rear view,
objects usually appear closer than they really are.
yesterday,
i was talking to a foxholer in my dms who has been going through.
he moved to a new forest to pursue his dreams and has hit a few detours.
because of this

he has gotten evicted and has nothing to go back to.
between his cries and doubts about God on the side of his road,
i did understand where he was coming from.
i relate,
and still relate,
to many of things he was fonting to me.

my life hasn’t been the easiest.
sure it has it’s moments,
but it has also been trial and error.
after my parents died,
and i spent all of the money from my father’s will,
i was actually homeless for a bit.
my parents never taught me how to budget or save,
so instead of paying the bills at their crib,
i was out here living large.
i guess i thought the light and gas bill paid itself.
i remember sitting in a cold ass apartment in the dead on winter,
bundled up with an eviction notice,
and wondering wtf was i gonna do next.


not only that,
but my “friends” straight turned on me.
many people stopped fuckin with me after i had nothing.
the ones i helped,
had all in my crib,
and made sure was good left me in the dust.
if it wasn’t for my aunt who took me in,
and her crib was literally the slums,
i would’ve had no where to go.
there was times i use to think i was “cursed” or life wasn’t fair,
but i’ve gotten to the point where i try to see differently.

shit happens and you may have to change direction

it’s easier fonted than done,
but when i look back to all i’ve been through,
there was always a random short cut or reversing until i could move forward.
sometimes all i did was stood still and wait.

the other day,
i was hyped because i’ve found ad sponsorship for the foxhole.
so they required “25k sessions a month” to be taken seriously.
this is how much sessions the foxhole got last month:

…as much as we are capable and qualified for their money,
i got an email saying i was turned down yesterday.
it hurt my feelings a little,
and i did doubt myself for a few seconds,
but i have to get back behind the wheel and look for another direction.
they don’t want me.
fine.
i’ve been rejected before and things turned out for the better.

honestly,
the side of the road can bring about great change in our lives.
we see who is down for us 4 forreal forreal,
but we also learn how strong and resilient we actually are.
the roads set up for all of us look like this:

there is gonna be:

accidents
hit and runs
driving under the influence
lose direction with a few along the way

a couple detours
merge into lanes with reckless drivers
 a few flat tires
you might even run outta gas on the way to the exit

once you reach where you’re supposed to be,
it’ll all be worth it.

lowkey: don’t feel shame if you don’t know where you’re going.
hell,
i don’t even know where i’m going.
keep moving forward and you’ll find your way.

Author: jamari fox

the fox invited to the blogging table.

3 thoughts on “oh, you thought the road to success was gonna be a simple one?

  1. Thanks for sharing and be inspiring for our community. There is power in your “fonting” and there is a strong, immense presence in what you do for this blog.

    This is more than blog; it’s a movement…it’s a following….it’s a belief that every fox can have the life and wolf of his dreams. Though that fox may experience hybrids and jackals on the way, this blog and what you share provides hope and support.

    Love you Jamari and we will win!

  2. J you are the gay mans modern day JOB, HE LOVED THE LORD SO MUCH AND TRUSTED THAT HAT HE WAS GOING THROUGH WAS TO WORK FOR HIS GOOD,YOU ARE SO BLESSED, BECAUSE YOU SEAK TO AND FOR ALL LGBTQ PEOPLE, I LOVE YOU FOR IF IT HAD NOT BEEN FOR YOUR LOVE LIFE AND LOSS, I WOULD STILL BE IN MY MESS BECAUSE I HAVE NO FRIENDS , OR PEOPLE I CALL FRIEND TO HELP ME WHEN I NEED HELP, BUT I TRUST THE FOXHOLE, YOUR FOXHOLE. ALL CAPS BECAUSE I WANT YOU TO KNOW I LOVE YOU. AND GOD WILL NOT PUT MORE ON YOU THEN YOU CAN HANDLE, BE THE LIGHT BECAUSE I TOO WAS IN THE DARK AND BUT BY GRACE , AND FINDING YOUR SITE , I AM IN THE LIGHT, AND IN GODS SIGHT, FOR HE HAS CHOSEN ME TO SHOWNTHE WORLD WHO AND WHAT HE IS. LOVE ND LIGHT. BE BLESSED.

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