life is not always meant to be a perfect road.
we look at others traveling along side us,
and although their journey’s appear to be easier in our front and rear view,
objects usually appear closer than they really are.
i was talking to a foxholer in my dms who has been going through.
he moved to a new forest to pursue his dreams and has hit a few detours.
because of this…
he has gotten evicted and has nothing to go back to.
between his cries and doubts about God on the side of his road,
i did understand where he was coming from.
and still relate,
to many of things he was fonting to me.
my life hasn’t been the easiest.
sure it has it’s moments,
but it has also been trial and error.
after my parents died,
and i spent all of the money from my father’s will,
i was actually homeless for a bit.
my parents never taught me how to budget or save,
so instead of paying the bills at their crib,
i was out here living large.
i guess i thought the light and gas bill paid itself.
i remember sitting in a cold ass apartment in the dead on winter,
bundled up with an eviction notice,
and wondering wtf was i gonna do next.
not only that,
but my “friends” straight turned on me.
many people stopped fuckin with me after i had nothing.
the ones i helped,
had all in my crib,
and made sure was good left me in the dust.
if it wasn’t for my aunt who took me in,
and her crib was literally the slums,
i would’ve had no where to go.
there was times i use to think i was “cursed” or life wasn’t fair,
but i’ve gotten to the point where i try to see differently.
shit happens and you may have to change direction
it’s easier fonted than done,
but when i look back to all i’ve been through,
there was always a random short cut or reversing until i could move forward.
sometimes all i did was stood still and wait.
the other day,
i was hyped because i’ve found ad sponsorship for the foxhole.
so they required “25k sessions a month” to be taken seriously.
this is how much sessions the foxhole got last month:
…as much as we are capable and qualified for their money,
i got an email saying i was turned down yesterday.
it hurt my feelings a little,
and i did doubt myself for a few seconds,
but i have to get back behind the wheel and look for another direction.
they don’t want me.
i’ve been rejected before and things turned out for the better.
the side of the road can bring about great change in our lives.
we see who is down for us 4 forreal forreal,
but we also learn how strong and resilient we actually are.
the roads set up for all of us look like this:
there is gonna be:
hit and runs
driving under the influence
lose direction with a few along the way
a couple detours
merge into lanes with reckless drivers
a few flat tires
you might even run outta gas on the way to the exit
once you reach where you’re supposed to be,
it’ll all be worth it.
lowkey: don’t feel shame if you don’t know where you’re going.
i don’t even know where i’m going.
keep moving forward and you’ll find your way.