There Is No Calm Within The Storm

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today,
i actually contemplated walking out the door.
i was on a high of “fuck it” and “i can’t do this anymore”.
i’m…

mentally
physically
emotionally

drained right now.
it took me everything in my power to crawl off the couch to get my laptop.
i threw up all my lunch because my anxiety was in high gear.
if my boss can’t stand me…

Why don’t he just let me go?

why do underhanded shit?
i guess he is trying to get me to quit.
i dread going to this place.
foxhole…
i’m going to lay down.
i have no energy and my thought process is shot.

…let’s font tomorrow?

lowkey: the mercury retrograde ended days ago,
yet i still feel like i’m in it.

Author: jamari fox

the fox invited to the blogging table.

16 thoughts on “There Is No Calm Within The Storm

  1. Keep your head up Jamari, god’s plan for you will be revealed in due time. And it will all make sense in the end. Remember in the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.

  2. You’re not the only one Jamari.

    I STAY online taking tests to get some direction so I don’t wake up hating what I do everyday. Its a miserable life and I don’t get how people do it their whole lives.

  3. J, I just had to talk a friend of mine from walking out today, she is so fed up but I had to remind her that she has cubs to take care of and she is a single mother, but she said she doesn’t care anymore she is so frustrated. So you are not alone. I recently changed position which has been for the better but I know not everyone has this option. Sometimes though, you just have to say “F” and leave for your sanity and peace of mind, aint nothing worth that in the long run.

  4. Jamari- its not on days like this that you should walk out the door. Its on the good days that you should plan the walking out the door. This isn’t where you want to be, ever. But, unless you are holding out on us, you don’t have a cushion to fall back on. Build one. Or, actively look for something different, everyday, all the time, until you find it. But, don’t let this go until somebody else says come.

      1. two months is much better than two weeks. With three, that’s probably enough. But, try to run towards something rather than from something.

  5. i’m sorry to hear that you’re having a really rough day just remember that tomorrow is another day and hopefully tomorrow will be a brighter day. Yell,cry, hit something do whatever you have to do to get all that negativity and all that stress out of your system. I prey the rest of the week goes better for you.

  6. I’ve been having a bad week too pertaining to work J! It sucks.. To each their own but I’m a perfectionist and if I’m not right with my career I don’t feel like I have the energy for anything else. Whether it’s relationships, nights out etc. When I feel down, I feel downnnn. I can only hope for better days at this point. I’ve seen people that made it and seen the light after dark but there’s also people in life who don’t get their happy ending and THAT is what freaks me out the most. Not everyone is lucky in this life

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