you know the wolf from the last entry,
( x climb his way on top )?
well i loved those pictures,
and i still do,
but an f-bi wanted to update the foxhole on his relationship status.
his name is lukie and this is who he currently belongs to…
according to the f-bi,
he doesn’t dip his pen in black ink.
did we even have a chance anyway?
unless you plan on moving from the us,
he is originally from england.
but one of my readers sent me an article recently.
it was titled:
What It’s Like To Be A Gay Black Man Who Has Only Dated White Men
…and it was interesting pov of a black wolf who only plays in the snow.
here is a gist of what i found interesting from the article:
“When I’m on Tinder, the men I’m more likely to swipe right are usually athletic white men between 21 and 30. And when I scroll through Grindr’s grid of faceless torsos, I find myself only messaging guys with complexions lighter than a paper bag. Even in person, when I’m trying to muster up the courage to talk to a cute guy, I first wonder if he’s “into black guys.” I hate myself for even having to contemplate these things, and I’m now left asking myself: Why am I not drawn to other men of color?”
“When I finally came out in college, I was at a predominantly white school. Many queer folks were closeted, and of the few who were out, most of them were white. After graduating, I moved to New York, and though here I was able to find queer friends who are also people of color, we are still always in the minority at gay bars and clubs.”
“A friend of mine, who is Latino, once asked why I didn’t approach Black men in bars. I replied, “Look around — I’m one of three Black guys here.” There’s a clear lack of queer spaces in POC communities, and that definitely affects the ability of men of color to meet one another. But while the absence of queer POC-centric establishments is definitely an issue, many of the other Black men I see at gay bars around Manhattan and Brooklyn are booed up with white men, too. Could we all be perpetuating internalized racism by consciously, or even unconsciously, excluding Black men and other men of color as romantic prospects? And in doing that, are we only reinforcing the politics of desire that deem Black people less attractive?”
“When I read a recent essay by Michael Arceneaux, his words hit me hard. He questioned why Black men in particular want so desperately to be acknowledged as desirable by white men who have no interest in dating outside their race. He wrote, “As Black men, we need to value ourselves so much that no outside force, no prejudice — even one guised as preference — can make us feel second place.” Clearly, this dialogue wasn’t only happening in my head.”
“The truth is, I am insecure about my Blackness — which is painful and embarrassing to admit. As a Black writer who writes about issues of race and culture, I can’t help but feel a certain sense of hypocrisy when it comes to my dating habits.”
“As a dark-skinned Black man, I have faced both overt and subtle instances of racism from white gay men. The ways in which I have been objectified and fetishized by them has often made me feel that I’m only good enough for sex and not for a relationship. I’ve received messages that said, “I love BBC,” or “I never been with a Black guy before,” or, on the opposite end of the “no Blacks” spectrum, I’ve seen white men who are “not into white guys, sorry.”
“When I’m dating a white man, I occasionally feel like I need to confront the issue of race head-on and acknowledge the difference in life experiences between me and my partner. It can be frustrating, but also deeply enriching, to teach someone about my cultural upbringing. But the older I get, the more I find myself wanting a partner who can relate to me without needing to be taught. I’ve become increasingly drawn to the concept of Black love, which celebrates Black couples and affirms Black pride within relationships, and I eventually want to experience this.”
“There are also times when I feel like my white partners are trying to overcompensate for their whiteness. They start social justice conversations, bringing up racism and homophobia almost as if they’re trying to prove how down they are. It makes me wonder why they’re interested in me. Are they using me as an experimental phase? Does it give them a sense of moral superiority around other white people, as if they are more progressive? Does it make them feel less guilty about gentrifying the neighborhood?”
the desirable wolves/foxes/hybrids are choosing:
…in their dating preferences.
well it seems like that these days.
like how the black “straight” wolves are doing the vixens,
the blacks gays are only good to fuck/get head.
we aren’t good enough to be claimed tho.
even if it’s discreet relations,
it’s a hassle to even find someone long term.
you see all the black wolves who came out only play in the snow.
it’s crazy that even myself,
as of late,
more snow “twink” foxes are vying for my attention.
i can’t even get a black “top” wolf to bite,
but a snow wolf will be making googly eyes in my face.
i’m not interested.
i love black meat,
even tho it seems black meat don’t really love me.
hell most of these black gays didn’t have to be around whites.
some have switched up on us entirely,
especially the ones we are attracted to.
it left me to wonder…
Are more black gays becoming color struck these days?
lowkey: if i’m wrong,
please correct my ignorance.
it’s like as the more the days/months/years go on,
black gays are becoming the new “black sista”.
we have gotten most of their issues when it comes to dating.
read full article: refinery29
see more of lukie: instagram