He Likes To (ONLY) Make Snow Angels

Screen Shot 2016-03-14 at 9.24.24 PMso…
you know the wolf from the last entry,
( x climb his way on top )?
well i loved those pictures,
and i still do,
but an f-bi wanted to update the foxhole on his relationship status.
his name is lukie and this is who he currently belongs to

according to the f-bi,
he doesn’t dip his pen in black ink.
did we even have a chance anyway?
unless you plan on moving from the us,
he is originally from england.
it’s funny,
but one of my readers sent me an article recently.
it was titled:

What It’s Like To Be A Gay Black Man Who Has Only Dated White Men

 …and it was interesting pov of a black wolf who only plays in the snow.
here is a gist of what i found interesting from the article:

“When I’m on Tinder, the men I’m more likely to swipe right are usually athletic white men between 21 and 30. And when I scroll through Grindr’s grid of faceless torsos, I find myself only messaging guys with complexions lighter than a paper bag. Even in person, when I’m trying to muster up the courage to talk to a cute guy, I first wonder if he’s “into black guys.” I hate myself for even having to contemplate these things, and I’m now left asking myself: Why am I not drawn to other men of color?”

“When I finally came out in college, I was at a predominantly white school. Many queer folks were closeted, and of the few who were out, most of them were white. After graduating, I moved to New York, and though here I was able to find queer friends who are also people of color, we are still always in the minority at gay bars and clubs.”

“A friend of mine, who is Latino, once asked why I didn’t approach Black men in bars. I replied, “Look around — I’m one of three Black guys here.” There’s a clear lack of queer spaces in POC communities, and that definitely affects the ability of men of color to meet one another. But while the absence of queer POC-centric establishments is definitely an issue, many of the other Black men I see at gay bars around Manhattan and Brooklyn are booed up with white men, too. Could we all be perpetuating internalized racism by consciously, or even unconsciously, excluding Black men and other men of color as romantic prospects? And in doing that, are we only reinforcing the politics of desire that deem Black people less attractive?”

“When I read a recent essay by Michael Arceneaux, his words hit me hard. He questioned why Black men in particular want so desperately to be acknowledged as desirable by white men who have no interest in dating outside their race. He wrote, “As Black men, we need to value ourselves so much that no outside force, no prejudice — even one guised as preference — can make us feel second place.” Clearly, this dialogue wasn’t only happening in my head.”

“The truth is, I am insecure about my Blackness — which is painful and embarrassing to admit. As a Black writer who writes about issues of race and culture, I can’t help but feel a certain sense of hypocrisy when it comes to my dating habits.”

“As a dark-skinned Black man, I have faced both overt and subtle instances of racism from white gay men. The ways in which I have been objectified and fetishized by them has often made me feel that I’m only good enough for sex and not for a relationship. I’ve received messages that said, “I love BBC,” or “I never been with a Black guy before,” or, on the opposite end of the “no Blacks” spectrum, I’ve seen white men who are “not into white guys, sorry.”

“When I’m dating a white man, I occasionally feel like I need to confront the issue of race head-on and acknowledge the difference in life experiences between me and my partner. It can be frustrating, but also deeply enriching, to teach someone about my cultural upbringing. But the older I get, the more I find myself wanting a partner who can relate to me without needing to be taught. I’ve become increasingly drawn to the concept of Black love, which celebrates Black couples and affirms Black pride within relationships, and I eventually want to experience this.”

“There are also times when I feel like my white partners are trying to overcompensate for their whiteness. They start social justice conversations, bringing up racism and homophobia almost as if they’re trying to prove how down they are. It makes me wonder why they’re interested in me. Are they using me as an experimental phase? Does it give them a sense of moral superiority around other white people, as if they are more progressive? Does it make them feel less guilty about gentrifying the neighborhood?”

it’s like…
the desirable wolves/foxes/hybrids are choosing:


…in their dating preferences.
well it seems like that these days.
like how the black “straight” wolves are doing the vixens,
the blacks gays are only good to fuck/get head.
 we aren’t good enough to be claimed tho.
even if it’s discreet relations,
it’s a hassle to even find someone long term.
you see all the black wolves who came out only play in the snow.
it’s crazy that even myself,
as of late,
more snow “twink” foxes are vying for my attention.
i can’t even get a black “top” wolf to bite,
but a snow wolf will be making googly eyes in my face.
i’m not interested.
i love black meat,
even tho it seems black meat don’t really love me.
200hell most of these black gays didn’t have to be around whites.
some have switched up on us entirely,
especially the ones we are attracted to.
it left me to wonder…

Are more black gays becoming color struck these days?

lowkey: if i’m wrong,
please correct my ignorance.
it’s like as the more the days/months/years go on,
black gays are becoming the new “black sista”.
we have gotten most of their issues when it comes to dating.

read full article: refinery29

see more of lukie: instagram

Author: jamari fox

the fox invited to the blogging table.

48 thoughts on “He Likes To (ONLY) Make Snow Angels”

  1. I was looking at his Instagram page and I was like damn, does he have any black people in his life outside of his momma?!! Almost every pic has him hugged up with someone white. LOL
    People who limit themselves really miss out on a lot. Sad.

    1. “People who limit themselves really miss out on a lot” So Jamari is missing out by not dating snow wolves? I always find it interesting when people criticize black people who only date non Blacks but don’t criticize Black people who won’t consider dating non Blacks.

      “People who limit themselves really miss out on a lot”

      I don’t know this guy but I am not going to assume he dates white guys because he is color struck. I am also not going to assume he would never date a black guy.I have dated white guys not because I am color struck but because I was in mostly White environments.I attended a college where Blacks made up 3 percent of the undergraduate students.70 percent of the Black upperclassmen were females.So there were two or three Black women for every Black man.So I didn’t limit myself.

      Most black people (gay and straight) are in intraracial relationships.Probably about a third or so are in interracial relationships.For gay man you also have to look at what percentage of Black gay men are “out”.I see hundreds of Black Gay male couples on IG,couples in Atlanta,Los Angeles ,Dallas,Chicago,etc.So instead of focusing on the minority of Black Gay men who have a non Black partner why not celebrate the larger group of Black Gay men who have a black partner.

      Regarding celebrities for every Black athlete or actor with a white wife there are two or three Black athletes with a Black wife.For every Kobe Bryant,there is a LeBron James,Dwayne Wade,Russell Westbrook,etc.Why focus on the exception rather than the rule.I remember a few years ago people were saying Russell Wilson was only into white women.Then he fell in love with and is engaged to a black woman.

      Just because some people date outside their race doesn’t mean they ONLY date outside their race.Just like Christian said ,”People who limit themselves really miss out on a lot”😃 I am not going to be a “black sista” who limits myself.Nor am I’m going to share a man because I deserve better.

      1. My comment wasn’t directed at just dating outside or exclusively within ones race. It was a broad comment. And it wasn’t meant as a detrimental attack on the guy.
        When you limit yourself to one thing…you miss out on so much more that is out there.
        Different experiences, different tastes, different styles. If he likes white guys, so be it.
        Like I said…he could get it.

  2. They’re a cute couple I’ll give them that.

    As far as the racial aspect of it, it doesn’t surprise me these days when I see a out black fine gay man who is coupled up with a white guy. To be completely honest I think it really depends on who you are and what you surround yourself with and where you’re at. A lot of these black gay athletes who come on in college go to the predominately white university where they’re going to probably be more accepted for being gay than they would at a HBU. Hence why they get booed up with white men ( yes there are some who don’t like black men, but there are those who just happen to fall in love with a white guy because that is who is mostly around them who is gay and out of the closet .)

    I read the parts of the article you posted and I was wondering the entire time what circles the writer was in. A lot of times in these gay clubs that are predominantly white you’re going to see only a few speckles a black faces and a lot of those black faces probably think the same way the writer does as far as dating white man and outside of his race. I just got the feeling after reading the article that the writer was more into the uppity kind of black people. I could be wrong but I know there have to be gay black clubs and gay black events up there in New York City. Something tells me the writer of the article is more into a different kind of black gay man black man, like I can’t see him being into the wolves in the foxes that you post on here.

    1. ^you made an excellent comment mikey.

      the only club i’ve been to out here was secrets.
      i went with star fox before he passed.
      it was a lot of gay blacks,
      but it seemed to be the “happy to be ratchy” crowd.
      i don’t club so i don’t know anywhere else.
      i’d rather go to a game night with the discreet crowd.

      1. I don’t live in NY but I can name 3 off the top of my head. XL and Esculitas would definitly be the majority. Plus there are plenty of black gay day parties by the Hotboys and some other sponsors.

  3. I can honestly say that coming to this blog changed me view somewhat of interracial relationships to be more accepting of them and not automatically label the POC in the relationship as a coon or sellout but honestly, I am beginning to believe that it really is more about how you view yourself than genuine love of another person from another race. In my humble opinion it goes back to how we see ourselves and how we are viewed in the larger world. We are so conditioned to believe that Black is ugly and negative that we may subconsciously harbor this in our mind without realizing it and then throw that on top of how our family members and str8 Black people in general treat us we are almost destined to not like someone who look like us.

    Many of us have been fooled thinking it is a new day with the state of race relations, but dumb Donald aka Donald Trump has shown me that so many Whites have so much hatred for us that it has me doing what they always do to people of color and that is to put them all in a box and think they are all the same. The things I see on a daily basis on social media by so many whites makes me further want to withdraw from dealing with any of them. I am at the point now that if I had a friend who dated men of other races, I would probably not invite them to be around me because I have no filter and I am sure to say something that they would not like especially if the subject of politics comes up. I just dont see if for these interracial relationships, so many of these White dudes only want to deal with the cream of the crop top of the line Black men while treating the rest of Black people like shit. These same Black dudes in turn will go out of there way to not acknowledge you and many I believe forget that they are Black. I can understand them however feeling more comfortable with White men because so many Black dudes are so damaged that they dont even know themselves and are not able to function in a healthy relationship.

    White men whether gay or str8 are able to just be themselves and live free without all the baggage that Men of Color must deal with, so they are able to be good relationship partners. So many of us are stifled by society for being Black and then stifled by our families for being Gay, it is like a no win situation. I have never been in a long term relationship with another man of color and at this point, I may never be in one. Even with my slim hopes, I can not fathom being with a White dude, because in the back of my mind, I just cant believe that he would sincerely be down for me like my Brother would. I may be missing out and my mind may change later on but right now I’m gone say NO to the swirl.

    If I am honest when I see all these attractive, well known Black dudes dating these other races of dudes, I have nothing for them and this dude will be added to the list along with so many others. I think the author of this piece did a good job of spelling his truth out, I wish him the best on finding a strong good relationship with another Brother.

  4. I’m actually kinda disappointed tbh, but like Mikey said it depends where they live. However, I am finding myself losing hope with dating black wolves and maybe it just better for me to stick with Spanish wolves only.

    I don’t attract black wolves either even tho I try, but they only hit me up for sex and then go home to their white lovers. I’m not a bed-warmer, get the fuck out of here…I love black meat too, but I think I would rather go for black Spanish meat instead cause I finally give up.

    Anyway me with a black wolf wouldn’t work at all with the cultural differences and all.

  5. I’ve thought about this issue a lot myself and while I am strongly attracted to black men a small part of me understands what this guy is coming from. Being a black man who’s gay comes with a lot of baggage. I would love to find a relationship with another black man but, I just don’t fall into any of those sought-after categories. I constantly feel like I’m not light enough, hard enough, or have the bawdy to be accepted in the gay black community. I tend to attract older black gay men or younger guys who treat their attraction to me like some kind of dirty secret. It’s not easy and on some level I can relate to the desire to get involved with someone who isn’t as familiar with a lot of the things that we’re constantly told we should be as black men.

  6. I am just wondering, do we know FOR SURE this man is not into other races and/or colors? I have always been an equal opportunity dater. The friends I traveled this road early on in high school were not. They only……ONLY liked Black men. I used to tell them they are limiting themselves, but I have come to understand that people like who they like. I don’t fault anyone who dates a certain type of person. Black dating only white people or vice-versa or Black dating only Black. Their choice.

  7. *sigh*…if he wants to play in the snow, at least get someone on the Channing Tatum level or some shit, ijs….*shrugs*…I’ma give him a date-of-expiry pass since he young and from across the pond though – he’ll find his way to ‘Merica where someone (like yours truly) can handle all that ass (white shorts *bites knuckles*)….and them legs, them leeeeeeegs…esp in ratio to his hips…cray

  8. There’s a very strong difference between having a preference and having internalized race issues. I know my brother has only dated light skin women, he’s more attracted to them, it’s not a race thing to him though. He’s not ashamed to tell you either.

    Having dark skin, I’m willing to bet at some point in life you acknowledged how much easier it would have been to have lighter skin. I hope in the future black children don’t have to feel that way.

  9. *Raises hand*

    I’ll be the asshole!

    Most black men who date outside their race do so in an effort to dilute their blackness. Doesn’t matter if they’re gay or straight. They typically embrace their partners white family as their own and only surround themselves with white friends.

    Now if you’re in the minority of those men who just doesn’t discriminate and has dated a variety of races including your own that’s all good, but black men in particular are the only ones that will proudly put other races of women on a pedestal while denigrating their own race of women or more attracted to white men that fetishize their genitalia like they did slaves.

    I don’t care what school or environment you were raised in, at some point you had a choice to seek out individuals who look like you and might have some shared experiences as yourself, that’s just human nature. They made the choice to make some poor attempt to assimilate.

    If you’re one of three gay black men in a bar why wouldn’t you at least speak to one another? I’m from the south, we’re taught to go out of our way to speak to other blacks if we’re in a predominantly white environment.

    What kind of person isn’t attracted to people that look like them? Do you realize how sick that is?

    While an Asian or a Latino person might settle down with someone of another race, most likely they have dated inside their race in the past.

    There are PLENTY of out gay, black men so that’s not a sufficient excuse to me. They think white men are better period!

    White people really did a number on us man. Crazy how the effects of slavery and methodically elevating some of us and telling us we ain’t shit, we’re ugly and that white is right has reverberated to this very day.

    It’s ok though, do your thing. White people always have a way of reminding you of your place, especially when you lack any sense of pride of who you are because you’re basically reinforcing their idea that they are superior.

  10. One more thing.

    I get so tired of black gay men complaining about the dating scene when they utilize some of the same petty dating “preferences” that they accuse other gay black of writing them off with.

    All of you shape the dating scene. It starts with you. Blows my mind how some of you all pile into Miami and ATL in droves and come back with not even a single prospect. You’ve smashed and trolled jackd all day but can’t find one dude to even consider talking to?

    All I hear is “there wasn’t anything but queens in there” or y’all will pile into a club to shade each other.

    I’d never go to a gay club or pride but I can guarantee I’d come back with prospects if I wanted to. I’m not attracted to one antiquated archetype (light skin, muscles, tattoos).

    The only difference between white gays and blacks ones is the black ones go out of their way to be divisive and separated based on petty shit.

    White gays are developing neighborhoods and businesses and black gays are running credit card scams and reading each other. Peep game and do better because you all can! How is the solution to date white men? Smh lol

    1. It makes me sad when I think about the fact that I’ll probably be single the rest of my life because even though I’m very attractive, masculine, I have a great body, an 8 pack, good job, nice car, own place, and I’m educated, I’ll still never be good enough for another brother with the same qualities or even lesser….

      1. I just shed a tear with your comment–Redman..more interested in your attributes…from what I am reading, you are the ideal man that I am looking for…

      2. Look at the qualities you listed that are supposed to make you “relationship material”. That’s the root of the problem.

        You listed possessions and physical attributes and that you’re educated. What does any of that have to do with anything in the long run?

        What gay men place value on is so messed up I honestly don’t think there’s much hope for anyone.

        I’m not one of those ppl that’s going to pat ppls backs and recite niceties like “you’ll find someone!” Or “He’s out there, be patient”

        There should come a time for everyone when they take a look at their life and see the same patterns and think about how to change it up. Go deeper and think critically.

        Tons of dudes have nice bodies, a degree, and a place to stay. I’m sure you have more to offer than that.

      3. JAY has a point Redman. I’ve said this in the past, and I’ll say it again. If the first thing you describe about yourself is about your looks, it can say a lot about you (not just you, in general). I said something like this, someone responded to the likes of “well, there’s too many people with self-esteem problems, so why not be confident.”

        My point was that if your confidence starts with your physical appearance, then you may not have the greatest foundation to stand on in the first place. There are people who have to find their confidence while accepting to themselves that they’re not attractive. Those who place their value on their appearance are DESTINED to crash and burn. there is more out there.

    2. ^between this,
      and the comments from today and yesterday,
      i am blown away.
      the intelligence!
      when will the rest!
      i am highly impressed and left to think.

      thank you all for correcting my ignorance.

      1. @Jamari – agreed! At the very least, this story brought out lots of insightful commentary argued passionately and thoughtfully. I might find me a man in these comment sections afterall 😜

    3. I do not have to even say much, Jay you said a lot.

      If I lived in the state of Montana, I would try my hardest to seek a man of my race, even though they may not be anywhere in the area. I remember a while back when Brandon Davis came out, you could listen to his voice and look at him and tell he is white washed, he will not be dating a black man in the near future. This is just the times we are in and we all have to deal with it, but when it is all said and done there is someone out there who wants us.

      S/N: I noticed a comment above stating why does he not get someone on the Channing Tatum level. Are we going to pretend that the man pictured with him in the photos is not a nice looking guy? I give credit where it is due now.

      1. Nah. He looks like a Keebler Elf to me.

        Channing Tatum is white but you can tell he has ethnic ancestry. He doesn’t look like your average white man.

        Bradley Martyn is an attractive white guy, but technically he’s Italian.

  11. My main frustration with this is it is only black people who are having to deal with this shit on a daily basis. For every 100 whites that won’t go black, there are 10 who will. For every 100 blacks that won’t go white, there are 70 who will. See the problem?

    Every black person dating/fucking a white person always pulls the “I don’t see color” bullshit but white people will outright admit they just love them some BBC. Even when black people do admit it’s because they have a white fetish, they’ll always try to sugarcoat it in a way that makes them look even more pitiful. Probably because they know how stupid they look being a black person fawning over a white person given our history.

    I really wasn’t going to comment because I didn’t wanna give this couple and other IR couples the satisfaction to use my comment as a way to boast about how they’re so beyond skin color. You know that snooty shit interracial couples always say.

    A few weeks ago some white gay went on a tirade about niggers on facebook and guess the fuck what? He was still getting sexual requests from black men on his timeline. So either there are underlying issues not being addressed or we blacks really don’t see color, even when someone makes it clear they don’t like our black asses.

  12. And don’t get me started on the tumblr blogs I’ve come across made by white gays who have a fetish for calling black men niggers. All the black men and high school aged black boys writing to him thanking him was disturbing.

    Is there an underlying issue or nah? lol

    1. Yea I seen that issue as well on tumblr. And I would see gay black men reblogging videos that would say nigger cock, and I am still shocked on the huge amount of gay black men reblogging those videos when you click on the notes.

      And there is one tumblr blogger who said she (white girl) called her boyfriend (black) a nigger during sex and it got him more turned on. I am so disgusted. Like how you gonna get turned on by being called a derogatory name? Gay black men really do have issues and the sad part is there is a LOT, there is a LOT and they don’t want to see it.

      It pains me when I see gay black men allow themselves to be used as sex objects, but what piss me off is when I call them out I’m always in the wrong even tho I am trying to help them and make them realize that they are worth more than their dicks. But, no, I’m wrong for saying that and should mind my own business. Like wow okay, I’m done, but don’t get mad when your so-called white boyfriend leaves you for a bigger and blacker dick.

      1. Lindo, I know exactly which white girl you’re talking about. I was thrown off when she said that because here we have a straight black man wanting to be demeaned in such a way in which he’s reduced to being less than human. All for a nut. Wow!

        When I first stumbled upon those white gay blogs that get off on calling black men niggers, I was extremely pissed. I didn’t know what I was more pissed about. The fact that those white gays claimed they love black men or the fact that there were black men glorifying this behavior.

    2. What’s the name of these blogs?? Black men are mentally sick these days.. Especially these gay and straight interracial ones!

      1. I can’t remember but I’m sure if you go thru the many black gay porn tumblr blogs, you’ll stumble across one eventually. They like to Photoshop the word nigger on any picture of an attractive black man. I made sure to block one so I wouldn’t see that shit again but there are a few more.

      2. Here the link: http://rebelliousrebe.tumblr.com/post/134337162005/what-is-something-that-turns-both-of-you-on-that

        She deleted the post on her page, but I manage to find it on someone else. Her tumblr page is crystinarossi.
        And there’s another interracial couple canadianmixedcouple o something on tumblr. The white girl posted a video with the caption sumthing nigger cock, and these gay black men were reblogging the shit out of that video and getting turned on.

        The two biggest disgusting tumblr bloggers that keep showing up on my dashboard are: destroywhiteboys and bigblackniggadick who use the word nigger a lot and these are black men who are obsessed with white boys and are okay with white boys calling them nigger. And one of these asshole said the word nigger makes him feel superior. HUH?!?!?!

        I don’t even follow those two people, but they always manage to be on my dashboard because it’s gay black men who are reblogging their shit and it’s pissing me off.

      3. I just looked at my blocklist to get the name. Google blackdick-pig. Very first page.

        What’s sad is in googling blackdick-pig, another page below it called slaverace came up.On it is a black man saying he’s a slave. And if you scroll down his timeline, there are others. It’s ridiculous.

      4. Wow, I’m not even going to look at these things because I don’t want to support that in ANY way, but just wow.

  13. Welp! Y’all pushed out some essays, lolol.

    I have a healthy curiosity about the snow. Never played in it, still on the fense, really. It is off-putting when snow bunnies obtain notiriety. The optics are not good for my ethnic pride and cultural esteem.

    Although, I’m more BLM than We are The World.

    Pass for now.

  14. I only date my color which is black. Not attracted to white men at all. I am from the south. I wonder if location has anything to do with it?

    1. I think it can play a significant role for some, but for most, upbringing, and personal experiences shape this coupled with your environment.

  15. I’ve already gave that snow hoe the business in the comments section days ago when I read that article. I’ll be moving right along while reading the other comments thanks..

  16. Not attracted to White guys at all. I guess the people like who they like rant can be applied here. As far as calling blacks nigger, that is ‘race play’ …There’s a few vids on Xhamster I stumbled upon a long while ago…sonething along the line of white master and nigger slave…

    Some of the comments were mentioning blacks deserve to be on their knees worshping their white masters…etc..Typical race play..hee haw i suppose.

    I think that Harlem Hookups guy is into race play as well. Think he had a vid once too.

    But I roll my eyes at all that since folks have soooo many weird fetishes these days.

    I like Black-Spanish wolves. My friend says Im racist cause I dont date white guys but thats because Im not attracted to them in any way or form.

    1. Is this race-play just a troll-ish way to get black people to take the bait and get offended? Whenever I see comments on youtube about political issues, I always see some random inflammatory dude start calling blacks niggers this and niggers that, and ofc inflammatory blacks just come in yelling and screaming and feeding the troll-exactly what it wants. I know these are different situations, but I couple them under the same category. Idk if I consider it to be a legitimate feitsh, just pseudo-racism, or hell, racism, and trolling.

      I don’t take these things serious anymore, I just keep scrolling because I’m not falling for that mess, I’ll join a proper discussion with intellect, not a bunch of babies baiting each other and calling each other names. Nope, won’t be me! The best way to deal with people like that is to not deal with it at all. Don’t being bothered by what they say or do strips them of their power over you. A white person can’t use the word “nigger” as leverage against me. I’m smarter than that. It’s time to stop continuing GIVING them unnecessary power.

If you wouldn't say it on live TV with all your family and friends watching, without getting canceled or locked up, don't say it on here. Stay on topic, no SPAM, and keep it respectful. Thanks!

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