i started feeling strange on friday.
it may have been that job,
since that has been the source of altering my moods.
it’s funny how my foxy senses was picking up on something.
the one thing i’m always reminded about…
yesterday i spent a majority of the day in bed.
i spend my weekends catching up on much needed sleep.
so i slept,
woke up to use the bathroom,
and slept some more.
i added a re-watch of “being mary jane” and new music in between.
i had no motivation to visit the foxhole.
i got up around 7pm-ish to start my day.
something inside told me to start cleaning up my room.
i’d get some much needed ideas to blog about.
my room isn’t dirty,
but i had things to put away.
i love a clean and organized room.
it helps me think better and keeps me zen.
it also makes stir creativity as well.
this is one of the reasons when i walk out and go into the living room,
it usually makes me moody as fuck.
as i was cleaning up,
i was led to the back of my closet.
i keep a box back there with all my parent’s stuff.
my father’s work schedule books stood out the most.
almost like i was supposed to look in them.
as i looked through it for nostalgia,
i noticed there was a compartment i never noticed in the back.
when i opened it,
there was a picture of me back there as a cub.
i looked so innocent and had this big smile on my face.
as i dug in deeper,
i found my father’s death certificate.
yesterday was the day of his passing.
it made me break down.
i consciously forgot,
but my subconscious will always give me a sign.
it even happens with my mother and star fox.
i’ll suddenly start feeling down days leading up to their deaths.
it’s like a personal calender reminder or something.
i miss them all,
but their passings have led me here.
i’m almost positive the foxhole would’t exist if they were still alive.
…Would I even be?
on lighter news,
the living room was spotless.
mi cleaned the “drug den”.
she even mopped the floor and cleaned the burnt stains off the stove.
i tell ya!
…i wonder what my foxy senses are trying to tell me about that?