jamari fox went to church today y’all.
i also didn’t blow up when i walked in the door.
that was a good sign.
star fox’s mother called and asked i wanted to come to church with them.
i was a little hesitant,
but i said, “why not?”.
i wore:
white dress shirt,
grey slacks,
black loafers/no socks,
and aviator sun glasses,
i looked good for being on a strict budget.
the topic for church,
as well as what i found myself in after,
showed me how god works in mysterious ways in my life.
god always has a message for me when i least expect it…
the pastor was talking about looking at others.
paying attention to their blessings.
feeling like god has left you behind while everyone else is doing well.
he also mentioned not giving up and finding your own strength.
that touched me because i have been feeling like that lately.
i have been feeling alone and kinda just in my world.
i look at these people on tv or other bloggers and ask:
“i’m just as good.
where are my blessings at?
has god abandoned me?
where is he?”
lets just say the church overflowed with the spirit.
i received it.
as i was leaving,
i felt this hand grab my arm.
i don’t do “random hands grabbing me”,
so of course i turned around with the “who the f?” face.
when i looked,
it was someone i use to know but not anymore.
he was this straight wolf i use to run with couple years back.
he was the “it” wolf since he was so good in basketball.
he played in high school and got a ton of accolades for it.
when i met him,
with a few others,
i stopped hanging with star fox to hang with them.
it was wrong as HAYLE,
but the cool kids liked me so i thought they would be my “friends”.
a word i have thrown around way too loosely in my life.
well that backfired really quickly.
they all talked about me like a dog behind my back.
lets just say i was replaced by someone else who was better.
they all went to every party,
all over myspace at the time,
and this particular wolf was in the newspapers as the star.
it hurt so bad and i will admit,
i felt insanely jealous.
i was wondering why were they were doing so well,
yet at the time,
i felt like i was going nowhere.
i immediately went into hiding,
grateful star fox even talked to me again,
and started to get my life in order.
well he looks like shit today.
he is fat as hell,
style is wack,
and his eyes looked incredibly sad.
he just wanted to say, “sup”.
i was polite and we spoke for a little.
he told me i looked great.
i wanted to say, “i know”,
but i bit my tongue as hard as i could.
he isn’t playing basketball,
got arrested a few times,
and is pretty much a hood rat slacker.
i remember his mama being so protective over him,
but i guess when he got the chance to go wild,
he did and never looked back.
i took his number,
but i won’t use it.
this taught me a valuable lesson.
one i will teach you.
stop looking at others.
their lives may look great,
and they maybe experiencing a ton of blessings,
but you don’t know what the future will hold for them.
the loser eating in the bathroom stall could be the person you need to know.
the cool kids of today,
the ones you strive to impress,
could bring you to your ruin.
they nearly did me.
so i don’t look at anyone else anymore.
i learned to pay attention to whats going on with me.
while they were talking about me,
i went and got my ass to work.
i worked and built my resume so i could develop skills and experiences.
i also wrote in little journals that have led me to write on this platform.
i nearly killed myself back then over these people.
ain’t it funny…
now he’s nothing but a washed up bball player who tried to dim my light.
funny how the tables turn, huh?
As old as I am, it look like I would take heed to this, but I still have self doubts at times and compare myself to others. I have been finding out that you just have to stay in your own lane and be yourself. People will respect and admire you for being you, probably more than you will even value your own self. I hope that everyone will realize that they bring something unique to the table that no one else can bring. You see this so much in the celebrity world, everyone wants to emulate the hot stars, but the people who last are unique and have quirks that make them endearing and unique to us, thats why usually all these flash in pans who get success overnight usually dont last until the next hot thing comes along. I want call no names but you know many of yesterdays bright stars are on their way out because we never really knew who they were, they were just an imitation of someone else. I realize now that you have to break a few rules, and piss a few people off and not live by anybody else’s rule, to be truly happy. Most people who give you a lot of grief for how you live are really jealous that they dont have the courage to really live their life.
This really, really touched me. I needed this.
I’ve been beating myself up about where I am right now and comparing my life to others around me a lot lately.
Thank you, J.
^judging from your comment,
I felt it.
listen you don’t know what other people’s crosses are they have to carry.
everyone has something.
everyone is fighting something.
don’t look at others because that is one habit that can be hard to break.
stay strong frosty fox!
I’ll try my hardest.
Thank you, love.
I mean it when I say I appreciate it.
Glad you went and got some of the good word.
Don’t gloat, not cool…things could still turn around for him. Excellent lesson you conveyed nonetheless.
Good point Chocolate, you shouldn’t look for satisfaction in other people’s struggles. Just work on improving your own life.
I really believe that when you work on improving yourself mentally, physically, and spiritually you will end up better because of it. Depression sets in when you are inactive and you are not challenging yourself.
Jamari don’t act that way, you know it’s not right.
Hi lurker here. This post inspired me to comment. I always believed that in every situation there is a message. People just choose to ignore it or don’t see it until a couple lessons later.
YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!! That’s all.