if lil nas x isn’t your hero, you don’t love yourself!!!

some people need a hero.
they need someone to be the motivation for why they wake up in the morning.
we were taught this as kids when reading fairy tales.
this white knight will swoop in to come and save the day!
he/she/it will make us feel better and give us confidence about our boring lives!
so when someone sees someone as their hero,
and you don’t,
they will stop and nothing to hurt your feelings.


like bey,
and the rona vaccine,
the latest hero in many people’s stories became lil nas x

he kissed another male on bet and instantly became the hero for many gay males.
don’t even say that you don’t like him on social media.
they’ll cut you and hide the body from your relatives ever finding you.

as a gay or bi male,
you HAVE to like him because he is a representation.
he is an out gay male living fearlessly and fighting back against his oppressors.
my question is:

What people don’t vibe with him?

is that okay?
are people forced to have to like him,
like we’re forced to like bey or take the jab?
i was having a conversation with a friend and they said:


i started to wonder…

Why are we bullied into making someone or something our hero even if they aren’t?

i stopped putting celebs in the “hero” position a long time ago.
some of my past heroes started doing shit that used to make me vex.
i realized i was putting all of my trust into another human to be heroic for me.
i don’t even know this person but i was putting them on such a high pedestal to disappoint me.
don’t get it twisted:

I like Lil Nas X

i don’t listen to his music,
but as i fonted before,
i dig his personality traits.
his kiss didn’t make me proud to be who i am.
i am responsible for that.
he is not my hero because i don’t want him to be.
i’m in my 30s and he’s in his 20s.
he has got a long way to go in this journey of life.
has he gotten his heart broken yet?
does he even know how to truly fuck someone?
has he made an album(s) of life experiences that changed our worlds?
i’m waiting.
he may wake up at 25 and say i don’t like this “gay thing” anymore.
then what?
he’ll really be dancing with the devil when folks banish him to hell.


stop letting folks bully you all into making someone your hero.
learn to tell people how hard they can go fuck themselves.
we are all free to like and don’t like someone even if they’re like “us”.

Are we supposed to like all black people?

…cause i’ll be honest,
some get on my last nerves.
last i remember this was 2021 and not slavery where we didn’t have a choice.
why are we becoming our oppressors by policing everyone?
people are free to do and like what they please as long as it’s not hurting someone.
i certainly don’t give af and neither should you.

lowkey: God forbid he strolls up with a white partner…

Author: jamari fox

the fox invited to the blogging table.

49 thoughts on “if lil nas x isn’t your hero, you don’t love yourself!!!”

  1. He is a talented, successful artist who has the nerve to be himself and the grace to be honest with the public and his fans. Bravo!

  2. I agree w your friend. I hate when ppl talk about a ‘gay agenda’, but he is a walking billboard for ‘gay agenda’. Again, talk to me when he finally owns a pair of jeans and a shirt.

    1. ^ it’s surprising that many aren’t moved by lnx.
      they aren’t hating on him but they don’t vibe with him like other gay artists.
      serpentwithfeet is a dope artist that i don’t think many know exist.
      chika got my attention with her song “u should”.

      everyone isn’t gonna like them or lnx.
      it’s perfectly fine.

    2. Nobody’s saying he has to be our hero, AND YOU KNOW THAT! HOWEVER the negativity from the gays he received yesterday was INTERNALIZED HOMOPHOBIA and if you walk around as a gay man with that mindset then, YOU DO NOT LOVE YOURSELF!!!!

      It’s crazy you’d criticize Lil Nas X fans for defending him but you’ll laugh at the vile antics of the barbs and beyhive all day!

      Also let’s be honest most gays are jealous haters anyway and they’re probably mad this young ass guy is famous and making money while most of them are living paycheck to paycheck, working dead end job after job (sounds familiar🤔), and doing PPP scams🥴

  3. I think for many black gay men, LNX is everything they’ve ever wanted in a black LGBT artist: he’s open about and proud of his sexuality, he doesn’t backdown from homophobes on social media, he wears what he wants to wear, and he’s getting the notoriety that has often been reserved for white gay men.

    So, when they see other black gay men, men who share his intersectional experience, criticizing and even unfairly bashing him, it is seen as an attack on his who he is and what he represents for black gay men (see previous paragraph) who put him on a pedestal.

    That’s what I got from reading the comments yesterday and earlier today…

    So, I’ll say this:

    If LNX is “that girl” for you, so be it. I respect your opinion. However, not everyone who’s criticizing him is coming from a place of shade, jealousy, hatred, and internalized homophobia. I’m certainly not.

    There are many reasons why I don’t like LNX like I’m apparently supposed to. First, he’s too young for me and I feel he resonates more with Gen-Z gays than a mid-90s baby like myself. I see him like an annoying little brother and feel weird saying that he’s handsome. Second, I just can’t get into his music like that. To me, it’s just more mainstream garbage shoved down our throats until we like it. Three, I stand by what I said: LNX isn’t as talented as these other black LGBT artists. I mean serpentwithfeet, Moses Sumney, Cakes Da Killa, and Chika can all rap and sing circles around LNX.

    Regardless, I will put on my cape to depend him against these homophobes for the same reasons I would for a black life taken by a cop: systemic oppression rarely discriminates… And the same heat they have towards LNX is the same they’ll have toward me. Regardless, of how much I’m not here for him.

    Will he have a sustainable career…??? IDK, but he’s going to have to give us something different soon because the current schtick has a self-life.

    That’s all.

    1. IDK, but he’s going to have to give us something different soon because the current schtick has a self-life.

      None of the people you mentioned even have careers. So I don’t understand what the “this is going to get old” is about.

      1. “None of the people you mentioned even have careers.”

        They may not have the careers they deserve, but they have the one thing LNX doesn’t: talent.

        People’s non-existent standards nowadays got them confused and thinking winning rigged awards, hitting X amount of streams on Spotify, and a bunch of Gen-Zs making cringey choreography to your shitty songs makes up for raw talent.

        If you can’t sing acapella or freestyle rap, how dare you call yourself a singer or rapper? And, none of the members in the foxhole who so ardently defend this kid have yet to show me evidence that he can actually hold a note or rap something other than Nicki’s infamous ‘Monster’ verse…

        “I don’t understand what the “this is going to get old” is about.”

        You’ll see…I’m THAT confident in my prediction.

        1. And Seli showed exactly my point yesterday. You have these artists that you don’t support because they’re not poppin enough for you…these same people complain about a lack of representation but they’re all around you. Pick one and support them.

          Chika was endorsed by Diddy and Jay-Z and given a coveted spot on the XXL freshman cover but because she’s not mainstream they don’t have careers? Fuck outta here with that bullshit. How insulting to people out here doing their own thing.

          1. First off, I support Black LGBT artists. The top played songs in my playlist are from Last-O, Medino Green, Bry’Nt and Sony Cobain.

            They didn’t make it and aside from Sony are “safely masculine”.

            If they made it, the first complaint would be that their lyrics are too explicit regarding other men. If the “non-gimmick” as you put it has a time limit, why hasn’t an indie Black LGBT been put on the map yet?

            Y’all love to be music snobs but need Rihanna, a pretty girl who can’t sing or dance, to “save music”.

            Lil Nas X has more talent in his pinky than 99% of these rappers who walk back and forth, sagging and shirtless around other men.

            His songs do not require great vocal ability. He literally got famous from a trap song. They combine a sing-song way of talking. You will NOT try to compare him to an actual SANGER.

            Nothing bothers me more than people who allow Britney Spears and Madonna passes but come for Ciara and Janet.

            Hold the bar for talent consistently and 99% of your faves wouldn’t make it through American Idol.

        2. No, I won’t see. You literally want him to fail and downing him to uplift other artists you like, is trash.

        3. I’m not interested in your prediction of wanting an out gay Black man to fail simply because you’re bitter about the LGBT community not supporting underground artists.

          He is not a singer, so you wasted your words. The difference is I am not trying to convince or change anyone’s opinion. You cannot dictate “how gay” he is. And I certainly am not interested in hearing you bash him to uplift others.

          Grow up. Many of you commenters are immature and cannot debate without resorting to namecalling, insults and vulgarities. I don’t recognize many of these commenter names and of that I am glad. I didn’t see you all commenting on Jamari’s podcasts nor his accountability posts. All of these fake lurkers can howl at the moon for all I care. You all don’t even support Jamari, but you want to feign “being so supportive of LGBT” talent. IJF should be on the level of Perez Hilton and getting namedropped in media. It’s a bunch of DL single men projecting their bitterness to anyone who isn’t a steroided out butch queen. The most you all can do is “research” on if a guy on IG is gay based on old comments. Put that same energy into Black history, masculinity and homosexuality in the African and Black community and you all wouldn’t sound as woefully ignorant as you do.

  4. IDGAF. He has no talent! Lol

    So any critiques on him are valid in my opinion, even if they are coming from someone who happens to be homophobic.

    If you say Todrick isn’t creative, Sam Smith can’t sing, or Frank Ocean can’t write, THAT warrants a side eye.

    Hollow “representation” just because is lame.

        1. Tekashi69 went to #1 too and dip and twisted down the charts after.

          They are really similar artists if you think about it🤷🏾‍♂️

    1. You don’t care but you wrote it in caps and tried to add “lol”. Mkay

      Why would you even bring up Todrick when the Montero video is something in Todrick’s wheelhouse???? Both are very theatric in their videos. I don’t remember as much hype for music videos since Lady Gaga used to make it an event and when Beyonce dropped her visual album.

    1. Jamari is hateful and obsessed with Lil Nas X. Jealousy at its finest. A rich young, out proud man doing what he wants while Jamari’s working job to job in NYC. Notice he only replies to the anti Nas X comments. We all know you’re insecure asf but being a hater isn’t a good luck LEARN TO LOVE YOURSELF

        1. I never said we had to support or like all gays, my point was the negativity he received from gays is internalized homophobia and nobody looking to him as a hero. Maybe you should’ve went to college and learned what the word contradiction means!!

        2. Jamari, that was so gracious of you to reply to him so kindly. Cancers are so merciful in the face of hate.
          Elegantly self controlled response!

      1. I don’t think he’s obsessed, but I could have predicted this “he’s not my tea”. We live in a world where Jhene Aiko rules R&B charts but people want to talk about the days of talent being long gone. When is the last time Jazmine Sullivan had a #1? Brandy just dropped an album. Who bought it? Where’s the album review? Monica has an upcoming album? Will it chart?

        Lil Nas X is a kid who got famous off of a viral song. He is using his platform to make other black boys who were told they were too fem and that being gay is wrong, realize “it doesn’t get better, but you can still do this thing called life”.

        The same people saying he is stiff, talentless and pushing the gay agenda LIVE for straight people who post a rainbow emoji, but because he’s not hiding and using ambiguous pronouns he is such a problem.

        Colman Domingo is an out gay Black actor and because he rarely discusses his sexuality, people live for him. Let him announce support for anything LGBT and suddenly he’ll be doing too much.

        The same people crying about representation say only fem men make it in the media making a mockery of being gay. Well, if you’re masculine and nobody knows you’re gay..what representation do you need? You’re just like straight guys but happen to like guys right? So picture a guy when you see straight couples in media and call it a day. There’s a reason we only get DL stories like Moonlight, the LA Complex and P-Valley. A man who still deals with women is sexy. He’s “not as gay”. We’ve never seen Lil Nas X with a girl.

        I guarantee when Lil Nas X “goes back into the closet” and “tones himself down” people will say he should have done that the entire time and will bandwagon with backhanded compliments.

        The one who actually needs to be dragged is the screenshot and I could, but I won’t.

        1. No Colman Domingo is not on everything no one misses his wee more than nas . He’s simply a GROWN MAN Who acts excellently and keeps it moving this is not a out/in the closet gay homophobia thing

          Queen latifah thanked her partner but do u see everyone saying “y’all only respect her bc she doesn’t show pda”?? No bc her sexuality is just that- hers

          The bottom line is he knows he’s using his sexuality as a gimmick which is why he can get 8 positive comments but will focus on arguing with Fox News and detractors bc it helps him to trend

          Same as cardi b! Who thinks Candace Owens or any of those white bitches is gonna like anything rap related ???? But they they spend all day in it on Twitter bc it helps their streams .

          The same way ppl called Nicki and gaga a gimmick in 2010-2012 nasx will have ppl calling him a gimmick today.

          AND ps to whoever keeps saying he writes co-writing songs doesn’t mean shit bc u can add a ooh and ahh and get credited ask faith Evans and kandi how many times they had to share production splits with artists who wanted to save face and act like they wrote them so save the he wrote #1s excuse LOL

  5. I’m over this whole thing if you don’t like Lil Nas X or don’t find him talented then simply turn the tv off when he comes on it EASY
    I personally don’t get the Nicki Minaj hype but do I write long novels about what I don’t like about her NO

  6. I agree with jamari about not having to like or identify with lnx but at the same time one should realize that the criticism he’s facing is not about his music/talent is about your that it challenges the status quo and how uncomfortable it makes straights and gays feel. Whenever I see his performances I go through a number of emotions because I don’t like his music and he’s stiff as a board and it just like he’s “doing too much” but then I remember what he’s representing and ultimately doing and I check myself before I add anymore hate/vitriol to discussions around him because if we’re bring honest all good entertainers “do too much”. Now I’m not saying he’s MJ/prince/Janet level entertainer but he’s an entertainer and at least this gay shtick he’s doing is genuine Madonna and lady Gaga state kissing other women in the mouth and but have never been in a full blown relationship with one. Also I feel like these arguments are very much respectability politics— you can be gay but not too gay so as not draw attention to yourself which is a the antithesis of being out and proud. If things were really as progressed as we claim lnx wouldn’t even be a thing right now but here we are talking about him. People should just be mindful of how they use their voice and are you speaking light/love or dark/hate.

  7. Its a personal choice to like , dislike or accept or not!.

    PART OF ME: *********

    Likes that he is out and making folks aware that as a Gay male he has a right to live his life out loud . Straight male and female artists talk about” Fking and Sking ‘so he should be able to do the same.

    THE OTHER PART OF ME:********

    Dis-likes his seemingly disingenuously habit of doing “stunts ” and “shock value “to sell records . The kiss was innocent enough. That “Satan” stunt and “Blood Injected Shoes” stunt crossed a line. I personally do not believe in Satan, but many people do in a religious context. I try to not offend anyone’s Faith or Religious beliefs.

  8. I ain’t gotta like SHIT lol and Nas’ antics scream to me “my lack of talent won’t get me talked about, so let me use shock value” that nigga (as far as I’ve seen) ain’t using his “celebrity” to fight for any real gay rights or organizations behind the scenes, all he does is use his sexuality to get talked about on the blogs, please it’s desperate

    1. Oh and what are you doing to fight for real gay rights and organizations behind the scenes? You don’t gotta be a celebrity to do that!

      Y’all kill me just hating on people with no facts just running your mouths and being spiteful asf!

      How is what is doing affecting you?

      Here you go! Check your facts before you run your mouf next time!


  9. Truth is, and gay black men can font on this if they want but he was cool and their “hero” when was he was “Masc Presenting/discreet about his gayness” the moment he started painting his nails, wearing makeup and letting these whites people put dresses on him, it was ew no!

    Be honest people what black gay men want is a more outgoing, more personable and public frank ocean.

    They want a gay black masculine man to be their hero. They feel like only one version of black and gay is presented to the public and that version “(over the top sexual, flamboyant, extra, too much)” makes the world judge them and see them in a negative light and continues to drive the stereotype that we are all one way.

    They want a version that is masculine, attractive, dates black, sings about everything but being gay and if the artist releases music videos, their love interest is to also be masculine. They want their unrealistic fantasies to play out because then, Hetero society can respect us and not think of us as nasty pedophiles and sinners. But as “normal everyday people” that they can associate with.

    Did I sum it up right? 😜

    But to be real, Lil Nas ain’t my hero, I like his music and if he gets to live out his authentic self rather than live in shame and commit suicide I say do you lil bro!

    He worked hard and now he’s successful and famous, you think you could have done better? Well listen no one is stopping you! But this is his life, his path and he’s doing it his way!

    So suck it! 🤪

  10. I am hearing people mention other artist that are “better” than lol nas x and so “underrated. It’s laughable because this is the cycle. So many people don’t like what popular. Many of you who like these underrated artists are quick to call them trash when they make it big.
    Plus people are saying lnx does too much, um he has only been around a couple of years. He wears fun fashion (not unlike prince ) and has slightly racy performances (not unliike meg, Nicki, cardi, and most female rappers). It seems like many have a problem with a gay man acting gay and proud on television.
    You don’t have to like him, his music is polarizing, but the double standard used against him is bullshit.

  11. I changed my mind. Jamari, your cousin was looking for a reason to dislike Little Nas X. it’s evident in how he speaks and based on listening to the podcast I am not remotely surprised.

    I guarantee when Lil Nas X comes out with a white boyfriend, your cousin will suddenly feel differently.

    I wonder if he was fed up when Sam Smith changed their pronouns? If that was ‘doing too much’. Or if they were praised that now a category has been made in the BRITS?

    First off, I know for a fact that your cousin lives for Britney Spears. It is well known that she is not a vocalist. She dances well and has top notch producers to giver her catchy beats and songs. Britney Spears will NEVER be invited to sing at any grand event such as an inauguration.

    Therefore, when it comes to “lowering the bar”, keep it 100. You are harder on Black people than you are their white counterparts.

    Madonna is another one who cannot sing. I will never forget her singing for a charity event for an earthquake and the choir having to save her non-singing self on Like a Prayer. What did that even have to DO with charity? It’s a song about giving a blowjob.

    Spare me the “I don’t have to support because he’s Black and gay”. Madonna LITERALLY made her career on shock value because…she cannot sing. She’s a capable dancer and wasn’t homophobic. If he’s not going to lower the bar, then he needs to delete every song from Madonna and Britney on his playlist.

    To not sound weird many Black people bring up “Janet and Michael and Prince”, but if you look at their playlist, they listen to their white counterparts more. They just say it just how people say they “love Beyonce”, but their most played is Mary J Blige or someone else. People say things to sound cool in public even if they don’t actually believe it.

    I am insulted that an article was made on someone who is biased and has a short memory. Madonna has literally disrespected the church and religion, burning a cross in a church in a music video. But that was edgy? Boundary breaking right? But a Black man poking fun at us being derided as going to hell? Satan shoes? How tacky. The double standards are beyond being gay, it’s pure 100% unadultered crab-in-a-barrel behavior.

    The fact that we have people arguing over if Beyonce can sing speaks VOLUMES. We have to work 4 times as hard and are STILL not good enough for our own. I am going to drag this foolishness everytime I see it.

    Sinead O’Connor also came for the church. The church protects pedophile priests but wants to speak on sexual deviant gay men. Call a thing a thing. We are able to praise whiteness but drag the exact same thing from Black people.

  12. Nope, I’m not done.

    Let’s talk about how the prominent LGBT icons..aren’t even LGBT. Everybody LIVES for Cher, Diana Ross, Patti Labelle, Barbara Streisand and that’s great.

    All we got were Melissa Etheridge, Boy George and Elton John.

    Where is the support for Tracy Chapman? Little Richard we posthumously honor as gay. Luther Vandross wore the sparkly glitz and glamour but somehow convinced people he was straight. Why hasn’t Christopher Milan charted? What about TS Madison? Why did RuPaul’s talk show get canceled? Why hasn’t a RuPaul song ever got to #1? Why is Todrick always “bubbling under”?

    What y’all won’t do is disrespect a kid who was doing this for fun and is now realizing his impact. How anybody could read the letter he wrote to his 14 year old self and dismiss him as “doing this for shock value” is beyond me.

    You don’t have to like it. You don’t have to watch RuPaul’s drag race. Pride doesn’t have to be your thing. You don’t have to watch Pose. But you don’t get special attention for living a more muted life. You’re not special. You don’t deserve any cookies. And the more you are so bothered by someone who isn’t your cup of tea, the more it reveals about the energy you spend seeking out things simply to dislike them.

    I genuinely hope Lil Nas X retires from music so I can hear the fake “Where is the representation” again. We can’t accept him at his flamboyant, but we act like we could handle a masc gay rapper. As if.

    When Christina Aguilera, Britney and Madonna kiss for shock value, that isn’t awkward. When Rihanna says she’s bi, that’s not for shock value. When Nicki Minaj signs girl’s breasts and says she was never bi, that’s not for shock value. Leave your bias at the door, or don’t enter the conversation.

  13. Real talk, this could have been a post about Britney Spear’s conservatorship, Wendy Williams saying death to her parents, Jamie Lynn Spear’s silence, Cardi B pregnant again, Saweetie delaying her album after meeting Cher, anything but another post about non-problematic Little Nas X. Beyonce knows not everything deserves a response. I need to be more like Beyonce.

If you wouldn't say it on live TV with all your family and friends watching, without getting canceled or locked up, don't say it on here. Stay on topic, no SPAM, and keep it respectful. Thanks!

%d bloggers like this: